Going thru it, need some serious mature & candid advise.

[witty35]

My BF and I have been dating for a little over 10 months. He's the father of 2 boys (10 & 12 years old) and I have an 11 year old daughter. We don't live 2gether. 2 make a long s2ry short:We have the kids every other weekend, and on those weekends his ex-girlfriend's son (not the mother of his boys) is with us. He's always in communication with this ex, mainly because of the fact her son is with us a lot (she has a 11 yr daughter as well). My boyfriend claims that her boy and his boys are really best friends. He even picks her son up from practices at times and takes care of him when she needs a sitter (mind you, she has a man). I feel there's more going on here, like he wants 2 keep ties with her and still has feelings 4 her. It's just bizarre. Another incident: he lent a different ex a few hundred dollars (she also has boyfriend). On 5/28 he gets a text from another ex which read "Happy holidays, always on my mind, your friend- xyz", and she's married. We also take care of his ex's (the mother of his two sons) 2yr old son (from a different man) when she needs a sitter. He's very good 2 me, but it seems he cannot let go of old ties. There has 2 be boundaries, but obviously he doesn't have any. I have discussed my concerns with him and he brushes them off as being my problem, that I need 2 get over it, that i am insecure. I 2tally question the intentions of these relationships he's maintaining. Are they friends with benefits, or just friends? I'm trying 2 be patient and open minded, but I question whether my concerns are valid and his relationships with his exs are a little bizarre

 

Another & last incident, we just recently went on a road trip a couple or weeks ago w/ our kids (his boys and my daughter) 2 LA a couple of weeks ago. while on our trip my BF son recieves a phone call from his ex inquiring about whether her son (the one that’s always with us, who's not his) was supposed 2 spend the night. mY BF tells her no, that he is on vacation in LA. I thought it bizarre that she would track him down on his son's phone. she obviously tried 2 call him at home and his cell and didn't get a call back and should of left it at that. A day or so later she leaves my ex a couple of messages inquiring about an IPOD he son might of left over his house b4 we went on our trip. He then immediatley calls her back 2 respond. On our vacation? this was not an emergency nor did we have her son. I feel my BF should have ingnored her call/vm and let it be that. She is not his GF or ex wife, or father of her child. he does not owe her anything. the whole situation made me very uncom4table. I said nothing during our trip . I didn't want 2 ruin it 4 the kids or us & addressed it when we got back. We got in an arguement & didn't speek 4 a couple of days. He relentlessy defended his actions & feels it wasn't a big deal, I felt it was disrespectful 2 me as I am his GF, we were on vacation & the call did not warrant a c/b. It was not an emergency. He still sticks 2 the "we're just friends" bit & I'm trippin. We've argued about the same issue on & off 4 10 months now. We finally had a talk & he felt were not a good fit, we're not on the same page, we don't see eye 2 eye on this issue, he’s starting 2 feel diffntly about us & what not. I thought it was a whole of BS as up til then we were happy, went on this trip and up to a couple of weeks ago was telling me how much he loved me, which leads me 2 believe that he still has feelings 4 her, is emotionally attached, does not want 2 sever or set bnderies on the relationship w/ his ex, uses the son to keep in contact “in hopes”. As I see it He's still emotionally attached. he says he's not, but needless 2 say we broke up, & now I'm heartbroken bcz I really loved him and I thought what we had was good, but I had to stand up for myself, to some degree I've felt disrespected. I've been really patient and open minded throughout all this. It's been two weeks and he hasn’t called & I’m defiantly not going 2 call. I feel if I don't stand for something I'll fall for anything. I don't think he will and I guess I'll have to move on. Do I cut my losses and move or do I try hang in there, continue to do the whole NC thing and wait? I could really use some advise,. I could use your truthful insight. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. I’m torn, it’s still fresh and maybe that why, but still need some advise and guidance.