sunshine79 Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 since everything happened with my 'jealous fiance?' thread am i turning jealous or trying to find something wrong ina wierd demented way??? someone snap me out of this. i go to bed before my fiance (i have to get up at 6 and he at 8) so he stays up until maybe 1 and i go to bed around 11, usually he falls asleep on the couch and then comes to bed....fine. well about a year ago (to date) he went to a conference for his work and met tons of people and became close with about 5 of them. we're in GA. one of hte people was from hawaii (guy), one was from vegas (guy) and another from vegas (GIRL) and then several others that i dont' recall since he has quit talking to them. well....he used to talk to the vegas girl (who is engaged) at least once a aweek after i had gone to bed. he didn't tell me but i knew...he didn't tell me cause in his head i'm sure it was nothing and i don't think it was anything. just kinda made me bummed but then again i talk to guy friends when he's not around and don't tell him to just minimize jealousy fights that could arise. lately me going to bed has made me think...'is he talking on the phone to that girl again' and i haven't approached him (since he didn't know i even knew before). i checked his phone yesterday when he got home to see if he called her the night before and he hadn't (he's not smart enough to erase from call log and calls made) so am i making a mountain out of a mole hill?? am i trying to find something to be jealous about since he was with me on his whole boss issue we just had. i have nothing to support that he has, not heard him, no calls on his phone so why am i doing this to myself?? WTF is wrong with me?? trust my gut or is it way out of wack?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunshine79 Posted July 18, 2007 Author Share Posted July 18, 2007 and when i say i talk to guy friends from college, and not tell him...i dont' do that but once every month, if not once every two months. and the 2 guys that i know that i talk to i have no inkling to even be with them or see them ever again, just keeping up with my circle of friends and maybe that's what he's doing? maybe he's not even talking to her? maybe i'm psycho...ugh...so stupid i do this to myself. Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 i turning jealous or trying to find something wrong ina wierd demented way??? Why do you keep doing this to yourself and your relationship? What is it doing for you? You obviously are getting something out of it, if you keep torturing yourself over and over again this way with being jealous/suspicious. Why are you with your b/f? What are some good qualities you see in him and in yourself, that make you feel you are still with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunshine79 Posted July 18, 2007 Author Share Posted July 18, 2007 i don't know why i'm doing this to myself. OUR new friends are all single guys and i see them interacting and staring at other girls, they tell my fiance to look and i laugh but it irritates mebecause there are so many beautiful girls here and i don't feel like one of them. he tells me 'wear tshirt and jeans out' - that's his style but then we go out nad everyone is dressed up and makeup-ed and i just feel likei don't fit in and i think i'm placing blame on anything but myself. i hate my hair, i hate my skin, i hate my body...i'm insecure and i had control of this but it's coming back out again. i am going to quit posting. i think this is making it worse because i have someone who will talk to me about my jealousy and my fiances' jealousy so i find more things 'wrong' and think too much when i comeo n here. thanks for everyone's help. Link to post Share on other sites
squeak Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 well about a year ago (to date) he went to a conference for his work and met tons of people and became close with about 5 of them. we're in GA. one of hte people was from hawaii (guy), one was from vegas (guy) and another from vegas (GIRL) and then several others that i dont' recall since he has quit talking to them. i have nothing to support that he has, not heard him, no calls on his phone so why am i doing this to myself?? WTF is wrong with me?? trust my gut or is it way out of wack?! I could see feeling the same way about the calls to the new conference people. On the one hand he made contact with both guys and a girl, on the other , it would still bug me. I really am against any "new" friends of the opposite sex within a relationship. Regular correspondence is a big NO. Add to the mix he never mentioned it to you- I hate that "I knew you'd get mad so I didn't tell you" line. Or maybe just "Why do I have to report everything I'm doing" line. Maybe that is unresolved for you. Can you talk with him honestly about what you expect and need and boundaries with the opposite sex in your relationship? I think you have a right to settle that in your mind. Sometimes old stuff comes up when it is unresolved. Link to post Share on other sites
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