problem

[Jen10]

ok my problem, i am married, im young, 20 years old. Ive known him since i was 15.

 

Let start by saying i am a very secure woman, i love the way i look and wouldnt change it for the world.

 

Now my husband is a wonderful person, BUT he says he never looks at other women and doesnt find them attractive, i believe marriage isnt sharing its being one entity, which i dont think is a bad way to think. but in todays society, men looking at women is natural. and its not that i care, i just feel im being lied to.

 

i dont mind if he looks, cause i know he finds me very beautiful. But i feel like he tells me he doesnt look at women or talk to them (how can you not talk to women at work?)

so that he can stop me from talking to men. hes very very posessive, which i dont mind its just he never wants me to have male friends etc.

 

But i dont have any reason to suspect him for looking at other women. Hes very open about everything, well everything he does at home i dont know about work.

 

and we spend every day together and have since i was 15, well back then we spent as much time as we could.

 

My biggest pet peeve would be being lied to and i dont mind if he looks at women, im not thrilled

but i have told him its okay if he tells me he does and i wont mind, but he always Insists that he doesnt and then asks if i do and of course ill say no, and i actually dont. Cause i feel its not fair, if he doesnt then i shouldnt. i would do that would anything. im a fair person i guess

 

 

And i guess i dont know if im being lied to, he doesnt have guy friends and the ones he does have we both hang out with them. I have told him go ahead and hang out with them alone if you want to, but he rejects it and says that i shoudlnt go alone either...so i say okay...id feel guilty if did go and he didnt...he doesnt do anything i dont, he goes to work comes home and we're always together.

 

so is he really sincere and am i just an incredibly lucky woman, or is there something fishy?

 

i know hes not insecure, hes incredibly secure almost annoyingly so

 

i know my husband and i know myself, i just dont know if hes lying to me.

 

If you have any thoughts feel free to post, but as ive had experience with this before..if you have any negative comments, i.e. *your stupid to believe that, ive had more experience than you* dont bother writing cause i promise you i wont read it

but if you can help me find out how a person is lying etc. i will appreciate it.

 

but i am a very happy person i love my life and my husband we have a good relationship expect for thsi one thing. which i know wont be normal to alot of people obviously. but remember not everyone is raised the same and that doesnt make it wrong. i do believe marraige is more than sharing your life with a person, and i believe its being one entity but thats my religion etc.

and i dont think having one night stands is right *im no prude*

yet noone else finds it wrong so i could easily call people whores but i dont cause thats their belief doesnt make it wrong....so be nice when posting..thats all i can say.

[bish]

Its not all that farfetched that he really doesn't look at women...especially at your ages.

 

When I was your age, I was the kind of guy that, when in love, nobody else mattered. I would see a girl in my line of sight and think real quick that she is cute or something, but other girls/women didn't turn my head....because I had what I wanted.

 

As I got older, and wiser, and realized that I wasn't getting the same consideration in return from my girlfriends, hell yes I turn my head now.

 

So at your age, he may just be telling the truth. You may be all he needs to look at. He doesn't totally cease from looking, but it may be that he doesn't break his neck looking at someone.

[LoveLace]

Even if he does look, he isn't looking the way he looks at you, that could what he means when he says he doesn't look...I'm sure he notices attractive women, he just chooses not to go any further than a glance. Also, I wouldn't call it lying, it's more like he's reassuring you of being the only one for him...you are very lucky.

[Jen10]

Its not all that farfetched that he really doesn't look at women...especially at your ages.

 

When I was your age, I was the kind of guy that, when in love, nobody else mattered. I would see a girl in my line of sight and think real quick that she is cute or something, but other girls/women didn't turn my head....because I had what I wanted.

 

As I got older, and wiser, and realized that I wasn't getting the same consideration in return from my girlfriends, hell yes I turn my head now.

 

So at your age, he may just be telling the truth. You may be all he needs to look at. He doesn't totally cease from looking, but it may be that he doesn't break his neck looking at someone.

 

 

 

 

actually hes 7 years older than me and hes told me this since i was 15.

i got married at 18.

 

but thanks

[LakesideDream]

Jen, I was also married to an 18 year old at 25. I can tell you honestly that I didn't "look" at another woman with "lustfull" eyes for the 25 years we were married.

 

In the six months of so before she dropped the A-bomb on me, she kidded me alot, pointing out that women were flirting with me. I was really put of by it, as frankly I hadn't noticed.

 

When your husband says he's "not looking" I'm sure he is not claiming that he doesent allow his peepers to "see" other women. People of both sexes are a intrigual part of the landscape.

 

I'm curious, why are you looking for things to critisize in your relationship? Are you just picking a fight?