rakula Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 I'm not sure if I picked the right section of the forum to post this. But I'll post anyway. Have any one of you been friends with your close friend after you revealed your feelings? Her become friends with your ex? Are some conversations off the table now? I was very close friends with a girl.. I told her how I felt but the love was unrequited. So now it seems like she is holding back more and the friendship isn't as candid. We still talk here and there but it's not the same as in she won't share any feelings about anything just stuff about the weather, cooking or sports. Just superficial topics. Nothing deep. Does this just take some time to wear off? It just seems like my old friend past away. It doesn't seem like she is the same person anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 There is only one rule here, you cannot be friends with some1 you love. Its far too paintful, and do you really want this unhealthy kind of friendship? Sometimes after months or even years it may be possible, but while you have that emotion, impossible without one of u getting really hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rakula Posted July 19, 2007 Author Share Posted July 19, 2007 There is only one rule here, you cannot be friends with some1 you love. Its far too paintful, and do you really want this unhealthy kind of friendship? Sometimes after months or even years it may be possible, but while you have that emotion, impossible without one of u getting really hurt. I don't like this superficial friendship where we dance around what we say. Are you saying once those feelings have all wore off or both of us find someone else it becomes easier to be better friends? Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 Yes if your ex is withsome and your not, it wll be really hard for you, but if your noth happy in a relationship then it may be possible, but to be honest, being friends with an ex is very hard, and its best let go off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rakula Posted July 19, 2007 Author Share Posted July 19, 2007 Yes if your ex is withsome and your not, it wll be really hard for you, but if your noth happy in a relationship then it may be possible, but to be honest, being friends with an ex is very hard, and its best let go off. Well for me.. It was a close friend that I fell for when she was single. During the years I knew her she would keep saying stuff like.. if we don't get married by 35 or 40 then we'll get married. Basically I was her insurance policy. I never thought I'd fall for her as a first choice though. Espeically since we've been friends for so long anyway. Then out of the blue a guy comes in and they start going out. I was going to just go off and do my own things but she kept me around as a close friend telling me nitty grity details about the relationship and everything else that went down in her life. We were still pretty close. So I guess you could say we had an emotional relationship still. Now she thought it was a good idea if she told me nothing about herself personally and keep things on a superficial level. That is every hard for me since we've been close for nearly 7 years (years of boyfriends and not). I don't mind going back to friends but it seems like she has to be completely sure that I have no feelings for her what so ever. We never were a couple so maybe it will be different? Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 I dont think it makes a difference, you have feelings towards her that a friend should not, and she is right to not want you around while you feel like this, and if she does its unfair. i tried to be friends with my ex at her request for her kids, but she just trew me aside soon after when she got a guy, it only lasted 2 weeks, but i would never go down that road again, even if she finishes with him, i wont be friends, b/c of the emotions that i have. Maybe in a few months that might change, but being friends with some1 you love is Pain, just dont go there, and walk away, the pain you will save yourself in the long run is worth it for a few weeks of n/c pain. And you will gain respect for yourself, Iv done this, and feel much better now. If i was still in contact i would still be in pain, and its not worth the odd chat to hear how well or not as the case may be she is. I want some1 for me, not a friend with an ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts