Aliddy Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 Hi there, We seem to be taking over ths thread with our chats :-) Email me directly [email protected] Then I can talk directly to you Suzanne Link to post Share on other sites
sharp2007 Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 Hi there, We seem to be taking over ths thread with our chats :-) Email me directly [email protected] Then I can talk directly to you Suzanne Ok, I will, thanks, speak soon..simon Link to post Share on other sites
sharp2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Awh Simon. Wish I could say something which would make things better. Been a hard weekend here too if it helps. My ex did a race that we were supposed to be at today and which I paid for. I thought maybe he might email and let me know how he did but he hasn't. Hang in there. It will get better. It will take time, but it will get better sooner or later, it has to. Thanks for comment on the blog, I'm better today..well so far anyway..and yes I will heed your advice.. simon Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 If it helps im having a crap time too! must be the school hols! Bloody ex's they have a great time and we cry! Link to post Share on other sites
sharp2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 If it helps im having a crap time too! must be the school hols! Bloody ex's they have a great time and we cry! Yeah I can certainly relate to that..I've cried to many times recently..hope its not bad for you.? all the best.. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Thanks for comment on the blog, I'm better today..well so far anyway..and yes I will heed your advice.. simonSimon, I'm glad you're a little better today. There will be ups and downs like this. Sometimes it's good to get a little drunk to unlock the pain because it needs to come out. But be careful with it. Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Yeah I can certainly relate to that..I've cried to many times recently..hope its not bad for you.? all the best.. I feel low, and i must have alot of emothion still locked in me that i thought was out, i guess thats who we are, and it will come out. The ability to feel the pain is what makes us human, and the ability for our ex's to treat us this way, makes them who they are. Right now i have a lump in my troat, and its causing physical pain there! Ill be ok, i just hope that this all goes soon, and i am back to how i was a week ago. Glad your having a better day though, stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
sharp2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 I feel low, and i must have alot of emothion still locked in me that i thought was out, i guess thats who we are, and it will come out. The ability to feel the pain is what makes us human, and the ability for our ex's to treat us this way, makes them who they are. Right now i have a lump in my troat, and its causing physical pain there! Ill be ok, i just hope that this all goes soon, and i am back to how i was a week ago. Glad your having a better day though, stay strong. I understand you completely. Emotional pain can be the hardest to overcome, yet when that pain subsides we only then realise how much we have learn't and will be more prepared for the 'next time'. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Maybe next time we learn "not worship the one we love" and build up "healthy boundaries" and "control our emotions rather than emotion control us" Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Maybe next time we learn "not worship the one we love" and build up "healthy boundaries" and "control our emotions rather than emotion control us" Easier said than done. To err and take the risk is to be human. To feel love and pain is to be alive. Despite everything I have been through, I would not change it. I've been to the point of death and walked away from it. I love this life, all the good and the bad and everything in between. Life is life. It comes as it comes. When you try to 'control' your emotions, or stifle them you aren't really being true to yourself. There are boundaries which shouldn't be crossed and I think most of us here have been hurt by people who willingly crossed those boundaries without thought or reason. The cause of pain is not always just ours to bear. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 As long as I remember I had that kind of painful moment as well. I analyzed myself to pieces. Later I found out the pain came from the large gap: the gap between "reality " and our own imaginery about ourselves. why I quote the reality, because it is not real reality. we think the one's definition about us is the reality (they leave us because we are not good enough, or we don't deserve that much), and our imaginery about ourselves is very highly (if I make effort, the other should admire me the same). Our imaginery about ourselves and "reality" are both very flaky. and these flaky imagineries hurt us or our ego the most. You cannot lost love. Love is in you. The one we love maybe leave us, but we can wish them best and love them still, when we do that our love become bigger and humble. What we fear is that "nobody would love US". what make us so painful is that we think we don't deserve to be loved, and why did I allow others treat me like dirt. This is the result that we leave space for others to define us. As long as we have unconditional love for ourselves, we don't let others to define us. they may leave us, ok, they love apples, but we are oranges. Emerge yourself into passion will lead to destruction. True love shouldnot be that destructive, true love build up. These painful experiences like pill a potato, one painful experience pill one layer of ego, another painful experience pill second layer of ego, and on and on. finally our pride and ego will go away, and the left are the real stuff and beautiful stuff, humble and loving soul. You seek to give and not ask back, the more you give, the more you will be satisfied Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Easier said than done. To err and take the risk is to be human. To feel love and pain is to be alive. Despite everything I have been through, I would not change it. I've been to the point of death and walked away from it. I love this life, all the good and the bad and everything in between. Life is life. It comes as it comes. When you try to 'control' your emotions, or stifle them you aren't really being true to yourself. There are boundaries which shouldn't be crossed and I think most of us here have been hurt by people who willingly crossed those boundaries without thought or reason. The cause of pain is not always just ours to bear. Passion comes from flesh (selfishness), true love comes from spirit (selfishless, seek to give). We definitely need to control our passions. If you let passion take control of you, how many energy left to you to do good works for others? Passion is self-indulgence, it causes destruction, and it is sin Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Easier said than done. To err and take the risk is to be human. To feel love and pain is to be alive. Despite everything I have been through, I would not change it. I've been to the point of death and walked away from it. I love this life, all the good and the bad and everything in between. Life is life. It comes as it comes. When you try to 'control' your emotions, or stifle them you aren't really being true to yourself. There are boundaries which shouldn't be crossed and I think most of us here have been hurt by people who willingly crossed those boundaries without thought or reason. The cause of pain is not always just ours to bear. Hi C i agree with this totaly. im feeling much better today, but for weeks now i have been wanting to send that email. Maybe its something i really need to do for me and not her. I may just wait till i send the cheque and ill put it in a letter to her rather than electronic mail. Iv been sortins out loads of old clothes and gonna get things boxed n ready for when i move. The market is so slow though at the moment, but it will sell when it does. I guess the porche will be cheaper in the winter as its a convertable. Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Passion comes from flesh (selfishness), true love comes from spirit (selfishless, seek to give). We definitely need to control our passions. If you let passion take control of you, how many energy left to you to do good works for others? Passion is self-indulgence, it causes destruction, and it is sin nothing wrong with passion, im very passionate about everything i do, but self iselfishness is something else, i have been on the end of it, and passion and selfishness have nothing to do with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
sharp2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 nothing wrong with passion, im very passionate about everything i do, but self iselfishness is something else, i have been on the end of it, and passion and selfishness have nothing to do with each other. I totally agree, passion is the source to finding that love that everyone so desires..nothing wrong with passion..its not against any moral value, its what makes us.......us...without passion..mankind would not exist. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Passion comes from flesh (selfishness), true love comes from spirit (selfishless, seek to give). We definitely need to control our passions. If you let passion take control of you, how many energy left to you to do good works for others? Passion is self-indulgence, it causes destruction, and it is sin Passion: any powerful strong emotion; either love or hate. Lust: a strong sexual desire. Infatuation. Please do not mix the two up. To be passionate about life; about love... is to love this life we have been given, irrespective of what that may entail. To use that which we have been given and use it wisely and well; is to love life. To love life with all it's flaws and intricacies is a gift which no other animal or organism on this planet has. The attributes which separate us from the animals are that we care and we love; we are sentient beings. All our flaws and weaknesses, all our kindness and care are what makes us human. Without these things we would not be who we are. I'm not going to get into a religious debate but I would prefer to keep religious connotations such as 'sin' out of discussions surrounding hurt and pain and losing a partner. People make mistakes, it is not a sin to make a mistake in choosing a partner or indeed in placing them above oneself in your priority of care. Link to post Share on other sites
sharp2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Passion: any powerful strong emotion; either love or hate. Lust: a strong sexual desire. Infatuation. Please do not mix the two up. To be passionate about life; about love... is to love this life we have been given, irrespective of what that may entail. To use that which we have been given and use it wisely and well; is to love life. To love life with all it's flaws and intricacies is a gift which no other animal or organism on this planet has. The attributes which separate us from the animals are that we care and we love; we are sentient beings. All our flaws and weaknesses, all our kindness and care are what makes us human. Without these things we would not be who we are. I'm not going to get into a religious debate but I would prefer to keep religious connotations such as 'sin' out of discussions surrounding hurt and pain and losing a partner. People make mistakes, it is not a sin to make a mistake in choosing a partner or indeed in placing them above oneself in your priority of care. simply..............................................................thankyou. Link to post Share on other sites
jackmerridew Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 What if you're passionate about doing good work for others? Is that self indulgence or destruction? Please. Things are not so simple as doing something or not doing something. And life is not so easy that anyone can just pull the wool off their eyes and see the beauty in life in general. Certainly life may be an illusion, and our own suffering is only as real as our brain tells us it is. But it doesn't change the fact that we are here in our own suffering. Suffering is life, and love, and what makes us uniquely human, and nothing, not even a self-righteous diatribe looking down on pain that's apparently beneath you, will take that away from us. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 What if you're passionate about doing good work for others? Is that self indulgence or destruction? Please. Things are not so simple as doing something or not doing something. And life is not so easy that anyone can just pull the wool off their eyes and see the beauty in life in general. Certainly life may be an illusion, and our own suffering is only as real as our brain tells us it is. But it doesn't change the fact that we are here in our own suffering. Suffering is life, and love, and what makes us uniquely human, and nothing, not even a self-righteous diatribe looking down on pain that's apparently beneath you, will take that away from us. if you are passionate about doing good work for others, you are selfishless, it is opposite self indulgence Passion is different from love. Love is endurance, selfishless, not consider what we don't get. But passion love is "what I don't get", contrentrate on self, it is selfish. when you concentrate on yourself too much, it cause too much destruction Passion love is from flesh (our selfishness). what if a person commit adultery because he fall into passion? isn't it selfish? and when you "worship" another human being, that cause much damage too. Like being treated like dirt, like don't have enough healthy boundaries, like too clingy to another human being, these are "worship another human being" Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 What if you're passionate about doing good work for others? Is that self indulgence or destruction? Please. Things are not so simple as doing something or not doing something. And life is not so easy that anyone can just pull the wool off their eyes and see the beauty in life in general. Certainly life may be an illusion, and our own suffering is only as real as our brain tells us it is. But it doesn't change the fact that we are here in our own suffering. Suffering is life, and love, and what makes us uniquely human, and nothing, not even a self-righteous diatribe looking down on pain that's apparently beneath you, will take that away from us. Yes, pain is unavoidable, but change perspective can lessen the pain. If we allow ourselves merge in the pain, that what we get: pain. When you concentrate on yourself, the pain become bigger and bigger, what in your brain is only PAIN, and what I don't have, but others have. but when you shift focus to others, how to help others, the pain you don't even notice anymore, and you become more happy, and right perosn will enter your life Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 I know I'm a mess emotionally and I wish I wasn't. I absolutely hate how I feel.... I'm a sensible rational guy, I've been in the Police, I can cope under pressure, but when it comes to love I can't handle the pain I feel. Its tearing me apart. .. Why don't change your perspective? and embrace the unconditional love in you and around you, that is God's love. If you have unconditional love in yourself, life won't be so hard True love is smooth and build up people, not extremely rollercoaster (passion) which will destroy people. I know how it feels when we "lost" the love ones. When you can genuinly wish them best, and not think about "what we don't get", you will get better each day Link to post Share on other sites
jackmerridew Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 if you are passionate about doing good work for others, you are selfishless, it is opposite self indulgence Passion is different from love. Love is endurance, selfishless, not consider what we don't get. But passion love is "what I don't get", contrentrate on self, it is selfish. when you concentrate on yourself too much, it cause too much destruction Passion love is from flesh (our selfishness). what if a person commit adultery because he fall into passion? isn't it selfish? and when you "worship" another human being, that cause much damage too. Like being treated like dirt, like don't have enough healthy boundaries, like too clingy to another human being, these are "worship another human being" I think I understand where you are getting at, and I agree. You should love another not for yourself, but for the sake of love and for the other person. I'm sorry if I sounded sharp with you. It's the Internet, and your tone sounded high and mighty. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 and your tone sounded high and mighty. Then I am sorry, probably I had a bad day Link to post Share on other sites
sharp2007 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Hi there..just wondering how you are?...hope your weekend went well.. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Hi, sharp2007 Now I am thinking my advise in this post sucks, well, not all of them, I guess only the attitude isn't good I tried to kill my emotion, or look down on pain, sort of, then I think this probably would benefit others too, but now I found I kinda went into "numb mode or robot mode". I guess Nothing wrong with hope someone loves us back. when you feel pain, it is real, it is there, can not ignore it. but I won't fall in deep in pain like long before without hope, I guess I have Lord in my heart now, HE made it easier for me. Like magic, through one night sleep, the pain the bitterness disappear, I know I didn't fight or work through them, that must be Lord. when I got anxious, then I remember Lord taught us "don't be anxious, cast out every burden onto HIM, He is the one in control, and He has good plan for our lives", I feel quite peaceful. Link to post Share on other sites
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