Coping with a long distance relationship

[the_crimson_fool]

Well I'm not the kind of guy that would reguarly post on relationship forums but I frankly need help and I apologise if it becomes slightly lengthy.

 

Right well I've lived in Australia in Sydney for the past six-seven years right? And I'm just desperate beyond belief to escape, its a great city and I love it but I haven't left it since I first moved here in early 2002. I've always had a fascination with America and after reading Jack Kerouac's 'On the Road' I was inspired to go on a road trip from Los Angeles to New York City which would be a reverse trip of Kerouac's path but thats another tale, back to the point. This travel being after I finish my education in highschool which would give me until June to gather enough money to escape Sydney to America.

 

I saw New York as the highlight of my journey and since I knew no one in New York I thought 'hey why don't I just befriend someone from their over myspace so I can have company? If it turns out they are some menacing boy hungry pedophile I can hold my own so lets do it!'. Thanks to the browse mode on myspace I came across one myspace profile that I thought was intresting, shared similiar intrests etc and I sent a myspace message and AIM/MSN information and we're meeting on the 4th of July.

 

I had never intended for us to grow so close in the months that would follow but we've grown close, really close and I'm having trouble focusing in the closing chapters of my highschool education (I'm in the middle of my trial final exams). I plan to attend University in America more or less around New York and this current time where we cannot physically see each other is unlikely to occur again as I will be in America more and more often.

 

We both feel that we are committed to a relationship after we meet and settle things out but its hard to focus on the chaotic monotomy of last year in school and also have this romance from afar on your mind. Its also devestating for her to not be able to see me for nearly a year.

 

I'm sure all of you would empathize with this situation so do you have any suggestions as to how we could cope? Both of us want this to work. Help us. Please.

[catrocks]

I know it's difficult not being able to see each other, and I do empathise with your situation.

 

So you will hopefully be moving to NY pretty soon then? It's great if you have an end point in mind for the distance because it gives you hope that after this last year you get to be together and it will have been worth the wait.

 

I'm sure you know that communication is a major part in any relationship, but especially in a long distance one. My fiance and I speak daily if possible, and email each other several times over the course of the day, so we are still involved in each others' lives even though we're not physically together. But at the same time if you talk too much and alienate your friends/ school then conversation can get stale very quickly. Make sure that both of you keep doing things with your friends, as you would in any relationship, so that you have interesting things to tell each other. If you're physically there are other things you can do - watch movies, go for walks, be intimate etc, but with long distance all you have is the phone/ skype/ email/ webcam and if you run out of things to talk about it can be very frustrating.

 

Of course, if you concentrate on school and do things with friends it will also make the time go quicker!

 

Hope I haven't said too many cliched things and that I helped a little. At the end of the day it's a lot of hard work to stay close while so far away but it is so worth it for the right person

[Duchesse]

Catrocks is absolutely right, I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who just moved back to england from france. We're both doing our exams so it's important to concentrate on those. But we've decided that in 2 years time when he's finished he's going to come back for me. So that gives a point in the future to focus on, like a light at the end of the tunnel if you like.

In the mean time we communicate everyday, visit at every possible moment, and little romantic surprises like love letters or presents keep the buzz alive.

 

Depending on how close you are to your friends in Sydney perhaps you should focus on spending time with them and having a good time before you leave them? Also helps to take your mind off your lady

 

Anyway, good luck to you.

[Lyssa]

Lots of communication. Talk about things. Anything. Write to each other. Sms. Use Skpe.. get a webcam. But never ever leave your studies behind! That should come first. Maybe take a break in between when you have studied for more than a few hrs - to chat with her.

 

It works for me and my bf.

 

Good luck!!!