Nephew B-day, family not invited - again!

[redfathom]

My sister is a real peice of work, well my whole family really is. She is about the worst mother, over dramatic, selfish and a liar.

 

Backgroud:

 

I am the youngest of four at 25. My oldest sister is 31 and has four kids, ages 1-14. About three years ago we had a huge falling out. I was watching the eldest while she was on vacation in Vegas (mind you she is poor, they live in a two bedroom with six people, she can't keep a job and they can't even go places as afamily because the POS car they have can't fit them all). Anyways, they were in Vegas and I went to my sisters house to get some things for my niece. The house was a mess, which it always is. My neice had no sheets on her bed, no hangers for her clothes, there was cat poop on the floor in my nieces bedroom (the cat had ran away two months ago) you could not see the floor in her room. Her clothes smelt like cat pee, the kicthen was crawling with roaches, etc. I said casually to my neice, that the house was a mess and she started crying. I asked her why she was crying and she said, "I have been sick lately so I have not been able to clean." I told her it was not her fault and she was not in trouble.

 

So I called my sister and I went off on her. She cried and got upset of course and my mom and other sister who were with her actually told me I had no place telling her how to raise her kids with out having any of my own. I said, you don't need to have kids to know that cat poop should not be sitting on the floor of there bedroom. So for about a year and a half I did not talk to my sister's or mom. When I mentioned how my niece was crying about it being her falt they told me she was a liar and a manipulator! WTF!!!

 

Fast forward thre years. My sister (not the one with the four kids) and my mom are not currently talking to my sister (with the four kids) - unless to be civil or for the kids. Want to know why? Because my sister (oldest) is a bad mother, which is what they say now.

 

So now to the subject: Birthdays!

 

Youngest neice turned 5 this year in April, last year she did not even have a b-day, my sister said she had to much going on. My newphew did not have a party for his b-day in August either.

 

Oldest neice b-day ws in January, my sister told us there was no party, that my niece just wanted friends over for dinner. My sister found later on my neiced myspace that my sisters husbands family had come over.

 

So I was talking with my sister today about my nephews b-day next month, it's on the 17th and she said he wants to go bowling with friends only. So I said, you mean we are not invited. She said, well there is too much going on right now to even plan anything so I will have to see what he wants to do and let you know. You mean to tell me that an eight year old does not want his Grandma and Aunts at his b-day party. That is most likely a lie. I can guarnatee that my sisters husband's family will be there. Then she pouts and says she wanted to do his party with my mom on Aug 4th. My mom is turing 50, this is a special day for her. Why does she have to share it because my sister is too lazy to plan something herself.

 

Anyways, so I am a little pissed off, my sister does this stuff all the time. She is a really bad mom, she spends most of her time going to bar on the weekends and leaves my eldest neice to babysit. She told me my eldest neice is depressed right now and crying a lot (she recently was diagnosed with Diabeties). I asked her if she could go with me to the beach for this work function/picnic and my sister said she will have to see because she has to babysit while my sister is at work. Well, of course she is sad and crying, her whole summmer has been spent baby sitting.

 

She has to go back to school in a month and had not been able to do anything fun. I tried to take her ice skating which my neice loves and my sister told me it would be to strenuous and would lower her blood sugar.

 

I really want to confront my sister but I am not sure how. Last time I did she would not let me see my neices and nephews.

 

At my neices b-day this year her and her friend were talking to me about drinking alchoal, I have these talks with my niece when I can because I know she does not hear them at home. I told her that drinking can give you diahrrea the next day, give you a headache and is expensive, my neice was telling this to her friend and saying that she would not drink cause she can think of other things to spend her money on. Then my sister chimes in with, "Well it's not expensive if you have connections like I have." I told her that was not the point.

 

So my sister irritates me and I want to know should I bite my tounge or say something?

[quankanne]

what a crackpot! First off, tell your niece that alcohol is the absolute positive worst thing a diabetic can get into, because it really ****s with blood sugar. Surely there's something better she can drink or eat that's tasty and she won't have to worry about her illness? I'm diabetic, with a bad sweet tooth, so I'm back to sugarless mint gum to cure the craving – otherwise I'm a tea junkie, which works just fine because I'm assured to get my daily dosage of fluids into my system AND without needing sugary drinks to do it.

 

as for your sister, she's just being an old poopy-head, bless her heart. So ignore her and get together with other family members to do something nice for the kids at christmas or birthday: maybe plan a day at the skating rink (no, your niece's blood sugar isn't going to get boogered up if she's eating properly and knows the signs of elevated or lowered BSL's ... the exercise will help burn off excess blood sugars, and she can always pack a healthy snack to keep up her energy levels) or the movie theatre or even a trip to the state park where the rugrats can go swimming in a relaxed atmosphhere. There are lots of things you can do if you're not allowed to be with them on their actual birthdays. And instead of making a big deal about what "she" is doing in regards to hurting the relationship, focus on making it a special event for the kids. Because believe you me, they'll remember the joy of getting to do these things with you.

 

meanwhile, keep up contact with the kids – do stuff with them as often as you can so that they know how much you care about them, even doing little things. You'll build up a great treasury of love when you do that. And don't let your sister get to you. She's a pin-head, bless her heart ...

[redfathom]

I do try to see them, I see my eldest neice most. I did take the three oldest to a baseball game last year for there birthday. The two middle kids have 50/50 custody with there dad so they are often with him. My sister loves to guilt trip me about not seeing them then when I try she makes up an excuse, there are to hyper youcan't handle them, they are sick, school is starting in two weeks, ect.

 

At the b-day party we had in April, my 1 year old nephew was eating ice off the ground, when I told my sister she said, "yeah he does that" I was like WHAT!!! Besides choking on the ice, the ground is dirty.

 

My sister loves drama and crisis'. She often pulls my neice out of school, she probrably missed 40 days last school year. She starts highschool and I told my sister when I was in school they could only miss 18 days or they would flunk. One of the best schools in the county is two block from her house but she is busing her to a school where they used to live because they have a good band program which she hopes will enable my neice to get a scholarship to go to US Davis to be a vet. I tried to explain that they don't give band scholarships. They are a graduate school that does not (as fas as I know) even have a football team for the band to perform at.