hints of cheating? please help

[terri]

Hello All,

 

My boyfriend and I have been dating for quite some time. I love him and he claims to love me back. His best friend told me that he has been cheating on me, yet this friend of his has had a thing for me for a while now. So I am not sure if it is just his jealousy or if it is the truth. My boyfriend claims not to be cheating and ever since I told him about my doubts things have changed. He always has a reason not to talk to me and he is barely ever around. He always apologizes and then promises for it not to happen again. It still continues. Before I heard that he might be cheating, things were perfect. Could he now be giving up on hiding something, or is something wrong with him? I am not sure if he is scared or what is going on... how do I find out the real problem? Every time I try to talk to him he thinks I am breaking it off and he gets upset. What should I do?!!? Please help me!!!

[Marigold]

Firstly, though the friend is attracted to you, and his intentions of informing you of your boyfriend's possible unfaithfulness may not be altogether honorable (he might want to be with you instead), he might know something anyway. From what you've said here, it's too hard to tell if your boyfriend is cheating or not. In fact, even with more evidence, it's hard to tell if a person is cheating. I would have to ask him again, and be really assertive about it. His behavior seems a little suspect to me. He seems to be hiding something from you. Am I right? I know if my boyfriend thought that I was cheating on him, I would reassure him over and over again that that was not the case. It wouldn't bother me at all, because I have nothing to hide. But everyone feels insecure sometimes and it's my belief, that when our loved one feels unsure of our feelings for them, it is up to us, if we really love them, to reassure them that everything's okay. It doesn't mean that they are weak or being silly or feeling unnecessarily paranoid. It means that they are human...as are you. You deserve to know the real truth here Terri, so you can get on with your life in a peaceful way; with, OR, without him. Best wishes and hope the New Year brings you heaps of happiness.

Hello All, My boyfriend and I have been dating for quite some time. I love him and he claims to love me back. His best friend told me that he has been cheating on me, yet this friend of his has had a thing for me for a while now. So I am not sure if it is just his jealousy or if it is the truth. My boyfriend claims not to be cheating and ever since I told him about my doubts things have changed. He always has a reason not to talk to me and he is barely ever around. He always apologizes and then promises for it not to happen again. It still continues. Before I heard that he might be cheating, things were perfect. Could he now be giving up on hiding something, or is something wrong with him? I am not sure if he is scared or what is going on... how do I find out the real problem? Every time I try to talk to him he thinks I am breaking it off and he gets upset. What should I do?!!? Please help me!!!