McFadden Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 I keep posting about this guy friend and his possible hidden motives and its getting worse and worse. I can't figure out if things are moving in the right direction but at like a slow speed, or if they aren't moving at all. I've been hanging out with him and talking to him a lot more. Since I've been stuck here he visit almost every day, now he just comes in unannounced and gets himself food and stuff like he is very comfortable, although I've only known him under a month. I feel like compared to my other friends they don't care about seeing me as much as he does. His interest level seems too high for being friends however he continues to say "glad we became friends" and stuff like that. Anyway we watch tv/video games while lying on the couch or bed usually, but a few feet away. Finally the other day, we were lying on my bed and I moved closer to him so I was leaning against him and he didn't respond, so I said "let me know if I'm invading your personal space or something hahah" and he said "you're not." So we stayed like that but he didn't do anything. I feel like I definitely made a move which was inviting another move, and he didnt. Is that an appropriate way to interpret the situation? That he didn't really reply so he's not interested? But he did say that it didn't make him uncomfortable, and stayed like that for a long while, and you could cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife. Or maybe not, maybe it was all in my head. Is the thing to do for me to try to make another move or is that pushing it? I don't want anything to be ruined Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 His interest level seems too high for being friends however he continues to say "glad we became friends" and stuff like that. In your opinion. If he has nothing more than being friends and hanging out ( like with a good guy friend ) on his mind then the way he is behaving is normal. It is because you have more on your mind that it seems his interest is to much to only be friends. It is hard to maintain a friendship when one of you would like something more intimate. Are you willing to risk it to get what you want? I think you should but that is a decision only you can make because his friendship doesn't seem enough for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Hmmmm ... girl Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 [COLOR=black]How important is this guy's friendship to you anyway? Would you want him as your friend? Because at this point, you've known him for a month and (at least on your part) there is a definite sexual charge to the whole thing...[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Did you try looking at him as only a friend? Without any "benefits"? :-)[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]As Yamaha said, if he really views you as his "buddy" then his behavior is totally normal...and you are reading way too much into it...[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]On the other hand if you seriously think there is something more to it and he's just holding back, you are risking the loss of a potential good friend, by going further and once you take that "decisive" step and definitely point out to him your desires, you guys will never be the same again...[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]So balance the two...If you only want him as a BF or a lover then fine, point it out to him...But prepare yourself that he might not reciprocate the feeling...[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]If you want to be his buddy...then stay put and don't do anything because if he wants to take the step he will...[/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
Author McFadden Posted July 22, 2007 Author Share Posted July 22, 2007 I really like him as a friend, he's one of the kind of friends I always wanted to have, likes to just hang out and do the same kind of stuff that I like to do anyway like watching tv and playing video games, so I feel like I don't have to entertain him if he comes over like a lot of my friends. So I like hanging out with him.. He is also hot, but I would rather stay friends than ruin the friendship which is why I'm not sure to make another move. It already seems like I made a move and it didn't go over badly, we were lying and his arm was around me and my head was on his shoulder for like an hour and that didn't seem like a friends thing, so I thought it might be ok to make another move. I just feel like there might be a window right now while he is single but that I'll miss it. But I don't particularly want to ruin things so I guess I won't do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Hmmmm ... girl Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 Do something...Figure something that you can do to give him another "hint" of what may be possible but leave yourself some room...I mean in case things don't go well, that you can say "It was a joke" or to just joke it off between friends...Depending on the reaction you will be able to interpret his attitude about the relationship... I'd love to be able to tell you what you could do but I don't know him, you do, and so you have to figure it out :-) And good luck ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 I would just forgo the games and straight out tell him that you like him and ask him if he likes you in return. If he rejects you then you will have to deal with the pain and most likely won't remain his friend because of it. It sucks when feelings aren't reciprocated but that's life. Find someone who will show you that he likes you and you'll have no doubt about his feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author McFadden Posted July 25, 2007 Author Share Posted July 25, 2007 That's why I'm not doing that.. I think things may or may not ripen at some point if I don't do anything drastic. Its a delicate situation. I think he likes me/thinks I'm ok looking but not enough to be in a relationship. If I tell him it creates stress. I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship to start anyway. If we stay friends we will probably be friends for months or years with an ongoing current of sexual tension but if we have a 'relationship' we'll break up in a few weeks and never speak again so it may not be a good idea. I just don't know.. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs.C. Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 ...don't scare him away. Just keep hanging out and take the opportunity you have to keep a little mystery about yourself. Like, be real with him about who you are, but don't make the mistake of too much information. Also, any time you have the opportunity to be with him and others, be excellent in his presence. As in, don't be a show-off or a flirt or anything, but be your best self and give him the perspective to see someone else think you are fabulous. (i.e. - through their eyes) By the way, the leaning up against him thing - you know he sees right through it. Good luck. You sound pretty young, and I'm just an old married woman talking!! Link to post Share on other sites
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