senorFroberto Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 Alright, over the summer I started working with a really good friend of mine. I'd been friends with her for about 8 years, but we were never amazingly close. As we started working together, I felt like we grew a lot closer and so did she, as we saw each other 8 hours a day. We'd also hang out outside of work in groups of people. Well, toward about the middle of the summer, I started to like this girl, so much that I felt I was seeing her glance at me a lot because I wanted her to like me. I became convinced that she did and I finally asked her out. She said no, and told me that she had no feelings for me and that she thought it would be awkward going out on a date with me. Here's the hard part though. About a month later, we both went on a mission trip with our old youth group. For the first couple of days she acted like her normal self. But then the following days she started to act different around me. Like when she'd see me in the hall she'd ask me where I was going in a semi clumsy way, or she'd make a comment on how there were lots of people in the hall when there weren't that many. I didn't think much of it, but one night I walked into the church we were staying at and she was standing right there. I started to walk past her and she grabbed me around the torso with one arm and kind of spun me around clumsily while laughing and asking me where i was going. This whole gesture was really clumsy and not something she'd normally do to me. At the time there were these two people sitting behind couches and I asked her if she was trying to hide them and why they were sitting behind couches. Then she ran up to one of them and started to talk to them but her speech patterns were real rushed. I've also seen her glance at me a bit and sometimes it appears she tries to cover it up. I told one of my friends about it and then stupidly, that friend went and asked Ashley (the girl I like) if she liked me and mentioned that she thought that I thought she liked me. Ashley said no. Now I'm just really really confused. She's been doing things that she's never done around me before, and I wouldn't know any other reason than the fact that she likes me. Any advice here would be extremely helpful. p.s. I did avoid her a bit on the trip, to make it seem like I didn't like her anymore, and didn't flirt back when I felt like she was flirting with me. Would this impact how she answered my friends question? I know this is long but I really need help on this. I just don't know what to do. I feel this situation is fragile as is and that I need to be careful or I could screw up the whole thing. Link to post Share on other sites
woodsfield Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 i'm not one to know what the ladies are trying to do sometimes, but it seems that she may be either playing "hard to get" or she may be alot like me; having difficulties expressing feelings (hence the clumsiness). it seems like a difficult situation...work together, trips together (old youth group?? are ya'll in your early twenties?? known her since highschool??) i guess these people you are around have also known you and her for sometime and she may could be hiding her feelings or playing coy because of it?? that's the only reasons i can think of...i could be wrong, because i've been with the same women for 9 years (married for 3) and i still have some issues with trying to figure out what she wants. i would tread lightly if you value your friendship with her. i've done this before; very good friends with someone for years, then started dating her and it ended bad. good luck woods Link to post Share on other sites
Hmmmm ... girl Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 [COLOR=black][COLOR=black]She would not tell your friend she likes you even if she was head over heals with you...Simply because girls usually don't like messengers to deliver "this" type of messages...She'd rather say no and see how you react and make you possibly come to her and have you ask her the same question then to give you the certainty that she does like you without even seeing your reaction to the answer...[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]The friend "theme" works in your early teen years but not after...[/COLOR] She may have changed her mind about liking you, she also may be playing hard to get, or she may have been bored and decided to tease you and see what comes out of it… Either way…my advise to you is play hard to get, pretend that you don’t like her “in that way” anymore, and see how she reacts…If she questions you on it, tell her that she wanted it to be like this…and so it’s like this… Don’t let her have all the fun…teasing her will make her come for more…trying to figure out (just like you are trying now) why are you acting the way you are all of a sudden… And since you guys work together you should have the chance to act non-flirty and totally “best friend” behavior as opposed to flirty, “I think you’re hot” behavior… Believe me…She will notice the change … Number one because when you show her you like her it makes her feel good…when you take that away and change the behavior she definitely will notice it… You could even play hard and start telling her “just between buddies” how you totally like this girl that you’ve just met (make something up) and how well you guys get along and paint this idyllic picture and see how she reacts to that…She might get jealous in which case you would know how things stand or she might act totally like “I’m so happy for you man!” and then you’d know she only wants to be friends…. But at least you will have an answer as to how she feels for you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author senorFroberto Posted July 22, 2007 Author Share Posted July 22, 2007 Yeah, we are almost 20. I appreciate the comments. If she does have feelings however, I'm not sure the changing her mind thing could have happened, because she told my friend "no" during the trip. But on the way home, I was still experiencing similar attitudes from her. So I dunno. She was a lot more subtle on the way home, but it was still there. I could have been led on too, but I honestly wasn't trying to find anything, the hints more came to me more than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Hmmmm ... girl Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 The hints almost never start from us but somehow we get trapped by them :-) And they never come when you expect them... :-) She might just be playing because she's bored :/ as sad as it is, my species of women do that sometimes... Try to figure it out if she has anything for you or she's just playing and leading you on just to see how far she can take you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author senorFroberto Posted July 22, 2007 Author Share Posted July 22, 2007 She would not play around just to see how far she could take a guy. She's not that kind of girl. Remember, I already asked her out once. Its only been a month since that, which could mean I sparked her interest. But playing around would be just plain mean after all that we've gone through. Trust me, I don't think thats what she's doing. I do appreciate the comments though. Link to post Share on other sites
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