Duchesse Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 Hi, My boyfriend who i've been with for a year and I are both 16 and up until recently we both lived in France (although we're actually english) but now he's gone back to England to live. We've decided to continue our relationship together, because frankly I love him more than my life is worth and he's told me he feels exactly the same and i'd give anything to spend the rest of my life with him, but everyone around me has said that at 16 I'm too young to commit myself to one person and that it'd be almost sad to be with just one person form 16 onwards. My parents certainly disapprove not only of our decision to stay together but of my boyfriend because he's left me (so to speak) so I really am in this on my own. Another issue I have is the fact that my boyfriend had the choice between going back to England which he has wanted to do since before we met and staying with me who he supposedly loves. However he chose to leave me, he asked me to forgive him for leaving and assured me that he still loves me and he always will, but if he loves me so much why would he want to leave me? I know that i couldn't leave him how ever desperate i was to go back. He seems to take for granted the fact that I'd said I'd still be here when he comes back for me, which i still stand by but i also know that people and things change. He seems completely blind to the that fact that we'll both be mixing with new people and experiencing things without eachother and that anything could happen. Am i being naieve to think our relationship could work? Am i too young to commit myself to a LDR? I'd really appreciate some advice or just to know that I'm not the only one struggling with a LDR. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted July 22, 2007 Share Posted July 22, 2007 80 is too young for a LDR. 99% of the time they don't... go the distance. hyuk hyuk. Save yourself the time and pain and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Duchesse Posted July 23, 2007 Author Share Posted July 23, 2007 Would it make a difference if i said it would only be for 2 years? He says he's coming back for me after he finishes his exams. I dunno whether the pain of leaving him would be less painful than that of the LDR and at least this way i have something to look forward to. Link to post Share on other sites
playabum17 Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 80 is too young for a LDR. 99% of the time they don't... go the distance. hyuk hyuk. Save yourself the time and pain and move on. What study did you pull that statistic from? Link to post Share on other sites
Worried7 Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 It won't work. He'll probably cheat & you probably won't find out about it until way down the road. It will mess with your head and you'll never get over it. I know because it happened to me. I never saw it coming since he even gave me a promise ring & asked to marry me when we lived in the same city again so you never know who you can trust. Don't get into an LDR that young & definitly don't fall in love at that age. It 99% of the time only leads to heartache & how can you really get to know that person if they're so far away all the time? Besides, there could be someone else waiting for you right under your nose..but they can't ask you out since you're with someone.Just my humble opinion & just my experience but LDRs are REALLY hard to handle so be careful if you get involved in one. Link to post Share on other sites
Worried7 Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 It won't work. He'll probably cheat & you probably won't find out about it until way down the road. It will mess with your head and you'll never get over it. I know because it happened to me. I never saw it coming since he even gave me a promise ring & asked to marry me when we lived in the same city again so you never know who you can trust. Don't get into an LDR that young & definitly don't fall in love at that age. It 99% of the time only leads to heartache & how can you really get to know that person if they're so far away all the time? Besides, there could be someone else waiting for you right under your nose..but they can't ask you out since you're with someone.Just my humble opinion & just my experience but LDRs are REALLY hard to handle so be careful if you get involved in one. sorry I forgot to mention.. I'm almost 19 now I was 16 when the LDR started. I regret the whole thing except what I learned from it. I was too young to learn that much at one time though. It has caused me a great deal of pain & he was my first love so I don't know if I'll ever completely move on. I've always been faithful to him but he wasn't to me. We're still together believe it or not but have recently gotten into a huge argument over the girl he cheated on me with so I'll be breaking up with him in about 30 minutes. I can't handle it anymore. Don't put yourself through what I've been through. The sunshine will just get sucked out of your world. Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Duchesse hun, Why don't you give each other freedom for the two years while he's studying. When you've both finished your studies if you feel the same way you can get back together and you'd have both increased in experience. I'm sure you'd agree that at 16 you know more and feel differently than you did say when you were 14... do you know more and have more experience in life now than you did at 12? What about 10? Can you see that a few years does change you and this is a GOOD thing, it means you're growing. Most of us don't meet the love of our lives at 16. That's not to say it isn't real or that it isn't strong, it's just we often need time and experience to know what we want and how to deal with love long term. London-Paris is not such a big deal but it IS when you are young, studying and have no money ... you could use that time to grow as a person and then when you can be together again you can be if you both still feel the same way. Don't tie yourselves into endless SMS, hiking up your parents phone bills and occassional visits all just to feel frustrated, suspcious (sorry but in college, there WILL be girls there) and hurt and lonely? LDR are hell, even for the old(er). Spare yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 My first reaction to your question is "Hell yeah 16 is too young!" I don't even think someone should get serious until they're well over 25 I can't tell you how many times I've been in love with "the one." Just let it go, and enjoy being young. Link to post Share on other sites
dead.girls.dont.cry Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 seriously, as far as a LDR goes, ive been having them for a long time. and im 16 myself. but you know what? if youve been with this person in person,and you love eachother, why not? it should work. and as far as being 16 and commited? my grandma was 16 when she met my grandpa....and you know what? they were together untill my grandpa died last year. but then again....these are different times...... Link to post Share on other sites
catrocks Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 I think it would be different if you had not been together in person before he left - you know you're compatible, you've been together for a while, and while the majority of people don't meet 'the one' at 16, who's to say you haven't? Give it a go, you'll never know unless you try. Everyone is different and there will always be people who say you're too young or whatever. But at the end of the day it's how you feel. Do you think 16 is too young? Do you feel mature enough for an LDR or even an LTR? Or do you think you might want to have some freedom before you settle down? You know yourself best, so listen to your instinct. Link to post Share on other sites
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