sunnie23 Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 I've been seeing this guy for about six weeks now. He is really adorable and I am really falling for him. the problem is that he is separated and working on getting a divorce. ive never been married so this really freaks me out - i have no idea what it means. things have been progressing in a wonderful way, theres no pressure on either of us to move forward but we still seem to be, very naturally. i have this terrible fear that he is on the rebound though, and i am going to get hurt. last weekend this all came to a head and i finally told him how i felt about his "situation" as we call it. he told me if he had the choice, he wouldnt be dating anyone, but he found me and doesnt want to push me away. he said that he is really into me, likes me a lot, but doesnt want to rush anything. i asked him if i was rushing him and he said definitely not. i told him i thought the best thing would be for him to take some time and maybe at the end of the summer give me a call and we could see what was up then. he ended up calling me the very next day....saying there's no way he couldnt have called. this weekend he was really sweet, made a big deal about me meeting his best friend and coming with me to this boring barbque thing i had to go to. he showed me where his spare key is and encouraged me to use it. (i wont until i am comfortable though). aside from the key thing, which im not really ready for, things are so perfect. but i still worry he is on the rebound as his marriage ended only 8 months ago, with negotiations for the agreement going on now. all that said, can i give him my heart? is it ok to fall? or am i setting myself up for disaster? Link to post Share on other sites
nasdxxx Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Hi, I am kind of in the same situation... meeting someone and he is getting out of a relationship... save for i know more about what went wrong in his relationship and what is happening.... (we been bestfriends for over one decade and a half..) Sometimes though, i do fear that he might be on the rebound and us being far from eachother... but the feeling is too good to just brush. First you need to have a one on one with hi about how you are feeling and how that is affecting how you feel and behave towards your relationship with him. Discuss how he feels about your fears... And whether or not he is willing to cover up the space that you seem to be falling into because of these doubts... Also try to figure out personally if there is ever a point he does something... that probably hurts you and you begin to make excuses for him by yourself such as "He has a lot on his mind' or that "He is busy or depressed about his divorce and all the excuses women tend to make for men, when they do things that hurt them. Once a man finds another woman and is trying to date her... its always a choice. He is either into dating you for real or he is not that into you, but is using you as his rebound bridge on to something better in future... Lisen out for the secret hunch... Not all people breaking up from relationships end up rebounding. Some relationships get to become serious.. Listen to your feelings when you have this discussion with him, preferably face to face or on phone nad not email or IM or anything else. If at the time he says somethings that make you think he is not focused on building a relationship.... try to take things slow or end it. To love and romance Nasdxxx Link to post Share on other sites
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