Lights Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 What are good ways to become less bitter about social matters? Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 I know! I have same feeling when bad things happen, when other people treat me badly, when ugly things become popular. Heck, when you look at the OW/OM forum, that can make you bitter enough BUT, I have cool, peaceful, loving, ultimate beautiful ONE to look on, that is our Lord God:) Read his words, read his story, read what he did, all these can make me feel good again, bitterness gone If we look around and put focus on people around us, the harshment, the coldhearted treatment, these can make our heart harder and colder each day. That's why we should focus our eyes on Lord who can bring peace, love and rejoice:love:. when you turn to him, he can make your heart rejoice, and make your bitterness gone. We are living in a sinful world. What do you expect from this sinful and falling world? At the end, only Lord is the solution:) Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Oh, when I am bitter because of social interact, I would step back, and think about what I did wrong, if I didn't do wrong, then I would work on myself to let it go. I would check if I have a big ego. When I resent certain person, then I would think probably I feelingly rely on this person or this person's comments too much. then again, I turn to Lord, Lord told me that "you listen to me, not listen to others (negative things)". and embrace Lord's unconditional love. then I become good again. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 What are good ways to become less bitter about social matters? What are some social matters that you are referring to? If you are talking about women, just remember that there are millions of them here on earth and that not every single one of them will act the exact same way. They are all different. Link to post Share on other sites
beautifulearth83 Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 What are good ways to become less bitter about social matters? I've actually gone through a bit of this in the past months. You really need to realize first, if you haven't already, that it is not healthy at all. The only positive thing about bitterness is it's lesson. Sometimes bitterness is actually your heart wanting to give love and compassion, but the stream gets blocked up because of judgements and not allowing your heart to process it. Then the bitter cycle continues. The great part though is that bitterness can be transformed into something more positive such as love and compassion. SO, I'd say the best way to relieve the bitterness is to try and close your eyes and think about that person or persons, then offer them your love and forgiveness, admit that they are human and wish them luck on their growth. Take that bitter feeling inside and just let it flow through your heart and watch it turn into love and compassion. Also forgive yourself for your bitterness. Then let it go, go about your life as a more patient and understanding person. But also, if it's a situation where you are exposed to something that is not healthy for you, something that starts the bitterness up often, you may want to consider distancing from it. But that all depends on the particular situation. This is just a lot of what I've gathered and I do hope it helps, so please take what you need from it and leave what you don't. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted July 25, 2007 Author Share Posted July 25, 2007 What are some social matters that you are referring to? Pretty much everything really. Trying to finding worthwhile associates and friends minus the stupidity, flakishness, and tribalism that all but seems to be built-in, the empty and twisted travesty of a dating life that is my experiences with women, name it. I've actually gone through a bit of this in the past months. You really need to realize first, if you haven't already, that it is not healthy at all. The only positive thing about bitterness is it's lesson. Pretty much. Unfortunately, I can't seem to learn from what's been happening. Good luck Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Lights, People are not perfect. Not everyone will meet your standards of the ideal friend, lover, relative, or colleague. You're not perfect either, so don't beat up everyone else because they're not "good enough". Accept the fact that differences exist. Sometimes it's just a matter of difference in personality, and sometimes a more subtle difference that comes with who you are, or how you are, in different situations. It's the minute but important details that make or break your dealings with others. No need to despair just yet. There are plenty of good people out there who you'll get along with just fine. Society/women/friends are not as bad as you make them out to be. Remember, as long as you're not dead, there's always a next time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lights Posted July 28, 2007 Author Share Posted July 28, 2007 I suppose. Accept the fact that differences exist. Sometimes it's just a matter of difference in personality, and sometimes a more subtle difference that comes with who you are, or how you are, in different situations. It's the minute but important details that make or break your dealings with others. Could you explain what you mean by "how you are"? (Typeface modification added because the quote turns everything italic.) For everyone: Does anyone know of anything that can be done to make social-related things actually enjoyable? It's too often become more bother than it's been worth, or even a source of anger and pain than anything actually fun, and yet I have found out through experience that self-isolation isn't a long-term solution either. Link to post Share on other sites
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted July 29, 2007 Share Posted July 29, 2007 I suppose. Could you explain what you mean by "how you are"? (Typeface modification added because the quote turns everything italic.) "How you are" means how you react to various situations. I personally think this is a good gauge to see what people are really like - their true self is revealed in how they behave under different (often difficult) circumstances. It takes a while to know a person - and see their different selves at different times. Based on this, you can decide whether or not you want to be with that particular person. For everyone: Does anyone know of anything that can be done to make social-related things actually enjoyable? It's too often become more bother than it's been worth, or even a source of anger and pain than anything actually fun, and yet I have found out through experience that self-isolation isn't a long-term solution either. Yes, self-isolation is certainly not the answer. If anything, you need to spend time with people to know them and to determine whether they're worth it. My advice here would be to not take everything too seriously, Lights. So some people are not as great as you expected. Well, so what? Let it go. Don't hinge on to that negative experience and let it color your view of everyone else. Meet people, see how they are, and be patient with yourself and others. Eventually, you'll find people you want to be with, and vice-versa. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 29, 2007 Share Posted July 29, 2007 What are good ways to become less bitter about social matters? Depends on what you are bitter about I guess. I admit it, I'm bitter right now with regards to cheating that has went on in my soon to be dissolved marriage. What helps me is going to the gym on a daily basis. And even though I will not make a committment again, it is nice to know that there are already a couple of local divorced women that are eagerly awaiting my dissolution. Link to post Share on other sites
weffer25 Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Honestly I used to struggle with this all the friggin time.... Now Im not telling you to find religion but this is a prayer and if you just really read the words and listen to them it helps soooo much with resentment and bitterness "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference" If you really think about it those few words are very powerful. Frankly the only person you have control over is yourself...no matter how hard we try to manipulate we cannot make anyone do or feel ANYTHING they dont want to. So remember that no matter what you do..people are going to do what they want, there is no point getting upset because while your sitting stewing about what he or she has done to you they are lying in thier beds sleeping like a baby. It sucks it really does but once you accept that nobody can make you feel anything, you chose to feel bitter, it may have stemed from their actions but in all reality they cannot control how you act or feel either so your making a choice to sit in bitterness. Its not a fun place to be, my advice when the ugly feelings start just say that short prayer and remember the meaning. Its changed my life, give it a try and good luck!! BTW if you dont have a higher power of some kind Id suggest getting one, it doesnt have to be anything like Jesus if you dont want just accepting that there is something out there bigger than yourself, it could even be something like nature or anything really just something bigger than yourself. Its amazing what spirituality can bring to a person, Im not talking about "religion" Im talking about spirituality...big difference but thats a whole other topic lol....anyway take care Link to post Share on other sites
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