Should I have Posted March 3, 2003 Share Posted March 3, 2003 I was out having dinner with a male friend whom I'm interested in. When the bill came I took out my credit card and told him this one was on me. He offered to give me half the money but I declined taking it. I'm not sure if he would have offered to pay for both of us because I beat him to the bill. Now I'm wondering if it was dumb of me to pay for the entire bill. What do guys think of a girl who pays for them on the "first date". Does that give the guy the message that the girl is really interested in him? He didn't exactly insist on covering it so I'm not sure how he perceived this gesture. Anybody have any input? Did I turn him off? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 3, 2003 Share Posted March 3, 2003 Your asking us to be mind readers. There is simply nobody but God who can tell you what he was thinking at the time. We can only tell you what our guess is. If he is a user, he was probably thinking..."Wow, have I found me a real sucker with money to spare." If he was a nice guy, he was probably thinking..."Wow, I've finally found a lady just like me who won't try to use me." If he is paranoid, he was probably thinking..."Hmmm, this girl wants me to think she's generous so she can suck me in...and then I'll find out just how selfish she is." If he had forgotten his wallet, he was probably thinking..."Wow, thank God. My heart's been pounding through this entire meal for nothing." If he's kind of spacey, he was probably thinking..."Hmm, she's paying for my meal...that's nice." If he's intelligent, decent and mature,, he would have made no judgement whatsoever and would have thanked you for your kindness. If he was very considerate, he would have insisted on paying the check, especially on the first date. His offer to pay half was half ass! If a lady paid for my meal, I would think she was pretty kind and generous. It would not give me an indication that she liked me one way or the other. If I thought she was trying to buy me, it was piss me off. Frankly, I don't like the guy. I would never, ever have a lady pay a check...even if SHE had asked ME out. I think it sucks bigtime. But some people were just never taught to think this way so I guess it's no big deal. Now, you will have to be the judge about what he was thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Should I have Posted March 3, 2003 Share Posted March 3, 2003 I'm glad you mentioned that part about him saying thank you...to be honest with you now that I think about it he never actually said the words. I enjoyed his company and I guess you're right, time will tell what he was thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Danii Posted March 3, 2003 Share Posted March 3, 2003 I am fairly generous (read: foolish) with my money. I often shout friends drinks, pay more than my fair share for meals, and yes, insist on paying when out on a date. I guess I like having that sense of control. I hate guys paying my way, as I feel a sense of obligation afterwards. I don't think you were a "sucker" for paying the whole bill, but make sure it doesn't become a habit - my last boyfriend was a professional student and I ended up practically supporting him and getting into some major debt, just to avoid having 'money issues' with him. If you go out with him again, the correct etiquette is for him to pay the whole bill. If he proposes to go halves he is a bit of a cheapskate so watch out! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 4, 2003 Share Posted March 4, 2003 If he didn't thank you for your kindness and generosity in picking up the check, he's a worthless, classless scumbag. You'd be better off not hearing from him again, unless you enjoy being around guys with NO manners. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts