stillafool Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 This is for the men really. What is the difference when a guy says he loves you versus he cares a lot about you? Is this the same thing to a man? Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 "I care a lot about you" likely means he is falling in love with you but doesn't want to admit love until the relationship has faced some challenges or he's more certain you will have a long term future. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 I'm not a guy, but what it means all depends on context. You need to give us more specifics to answer your question. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Word. "I really care about you and want many more adventures with you, I really look forward to what our future holds" means "I'm falling for you but can't say it yet." Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillafool Posted July 23, 2007 Author Share Posted July 23, 2007 I'm not a guy, but what it means all depends on context. You need to give us more specifics to answer your question. Well my sister just ran into her ex from years back and they met for lunch. They dated for 2-1/2 years and she was really in love with him but never told him until now that she was in love with him back then. She said when she told him she was in love with her he said back to her "You were someone I cared a great deal about". We wonder what does that mean? I mean I care a lot the price of gas, why couldn't he be more specific. It seems like an easy "get off the hook" answer to me and didn't give her any real closure. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 ^I don't think that response really makes anything clear because it's unlikely a guy out of a relationship who didn't wish to rekindle things would admit to that he was once in love with her. It could be that he wasn't love with her but may have "cared" about her in a more familial way. It's also possiblethat he was in love with her but felt uncomfortable admitting that now because the relationship has ended. It all kind of depends on who ended the relationship and for what reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
playabum17 Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Wow, great question! My guy says 'I love you' a lot, but always in a sentence never just plain "I love you'. First few times he said it, it kind of threw me for a loop, now I just take it with a grain of salt. He'll say. "You know you are such a blonde, but I love you anyway" or some similar statement, so I just take it as a 'friendly comment and I don't worry my pretty little head about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillafool Posted July 23, 2007 Author Share Posted July 23, 2007 ^I don't think that response really makes anything clear because it's unlikely a guy out of a relationship who didn't wish to rekindle things would admit to that he was once in love with her. It could be that he wasn't love with her but may have "cared" about her in a more familial way. It's also possiblethat he was in love with her but felt uncomfortable admitting that now because the relationship has ended. It all kind of depends on who ended the relationship and for what reasons. Well she broke up with him for good reasons and he did try to get back with her but it is such a long, long story. However, I think you are right, at this point in their lives she may never really know the answer. If he didn't want to talk about it then he probably doesn't want to think about it now. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Well she broke up with him for good reasons and he did try to get back with her but it is such a long, long story. However, I think you are right, at this point in their lives she may never really know the answer. If he didn't want to talk about it then he probably doesn't want to think about it now. You have your answer. Pride. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 "I love you" is not the same as "I care about you". "I care" means a lot less than "I love". Maybe some people say "I care" because they are too cowardly to admit "I love." But I think most people say "I care" when they mean "I don't love you, but I do care". It doesn't rule out developing love in the future, but it generally means they do not yet love. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 This thread is bringing back memories for me. My H first said "I'm crazy about you!." I actually took that to mean he loved me...and just a week or so later he changed the "I'm crazy about you" to "I love you.":love: Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Word. "I really care about you and want many more adventures with you, I really look forward to what our future holds" means "I'm falling for you but can't say it yet." Very interesting to see a view so different from mine. To me "I really care about you" is similar to "I love you I'm just not IN love with you" sort of like an out. Maybe it's because I've used that line as a way to reject and dump people before. I had a good guy friend who was crazy about me and wanted be together, several times I've told him "I really care about you, I just don't see us together like that" which was 100% true. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 I care about you usually means "I do not love you and don't think I ever will" IMHO. But in this particular context it could really just mean "I don't want to go there." Link to post Share on other sites
jcster Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 I've found that "I care a lot about you" is the kiss of death. It's hard to get from there to love. Link to post Share on other sites
marley_86 Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 My new bf of three weeks said "i love you" i just got out of a long term relationship, the new bf hasn't seen my other sides, and is just going on our couple weeks together. Link to post Share on other sites
lostinatrance19 Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 I care about you a lot to me can mean many different things, the only sure way of knowing what he means by it would be to ask him. It could mean he cares about you a lot as a friend, or as more than that. It could mean he loves you but he's afraid to admit it, or that he doesn't love you and doesn't know how to say it. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 My new bf of three weeks said "i love you" i just got out of a long term relationship, the new bf hasn't seen my other sides, and is just going on our couple weeks together. He's either really young or a bit on the crazy/possessive side Yeah, I didn't see you two together either. :laugh: And how would you know who I'm talking about Link to post Share on other sites
Lilly Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 I dated a guy for a year and a half. He never told me he loved me. He would always say things like "I'm crazy about you" or "How did I get so lucky to find you". We were so happy together and did so many things together. However, when we did break up, it turns out that he never really saw me as anything more than a friend. That is what he said. Link to post Share on other sites
BentSpine Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 IMO, love is no more mysterious than physical attraction combined with a strong caring for the attrictive person's well-being. Physical attraction may take no time to develop. Caring for the other a lot can arise when big deposits are made into our love tank. I don't see why it couldn't be possible for the love tank to be filled within weeks if one's most important emotional needs are being filled. "I care about you." means to me that there is lacking attraction to one of body, face or personality. Not attraction enough to last long term anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillafool Posted July 25, 2007 Author Share Posted July 25, 2007 Thanks for the replies. My sister read them last night and was rather sad. However, I didn't mention that he is married now and so is she. She didn't want to get with him but she wanted to tell him how she felt back then and get some closure. I have been in a similar situation in my past, but the guy who told me he cared for me wasn't in love with me and I knew it. My sister's ex was someone she almost married and he never said I love you and nor did she back then. (Crazy huh!) She felt she wanted to tell him how she felt back then and so she said those words to him "I was in love with you back then", she said his eyes opened wide and he didn't say anything. Later in their conversation he said "You were someone I cared a great deal for". Link to post Share on other sites
Zona76 Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 My PERSONAL opinion on this? I Care, means I care about MY pride and My feelings. If you hurt I will have to take your rath and I can't deal with that kind of guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 "I care a lot about you" likely means he is falling in love with you but doesn't want to admit love until the relationship has faced some challenges or he's more certain you will have a long term future. Stillafool, you need to pay more attention to this response. It hits the nail square on the head. It's the emotion of the "love" without the verbal commitment. Absolutely and without a doubt. Link to post Share on other sites
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 This is for the men really. What is the difference when a guy says he loves you versus he cares a lot about you? Is this the same thing to a man? Words make everything so complicated. Makes you think about the motive behind the words, etc. Too much speculation. Go by his actions. They ALWAYS tell the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillafool Posted July 27, 2007 Author Share Posted July 27, 2007 Thanks you guys, you are all so smart. "I care about you" could mean anything but it is noncommital. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 It's the emotion of the "love" without the verbal commitment. Absolutely and without a doubt. I also agree with this. "I care about you" is a stepping stone to "I love you". Unless you read too much into "I care about you" and sabotage your relationship from ever reaching "I love you" Link to post Share on other sites
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