A status update ... any thoughts?

[Kelso]

Hello everybody -

 

I hope you've had a wonderful weekend. I posted here about 3 weeks ago, you can read all about it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t123585/.

 

My ex came back into my life three weeks ago after 8 months of NC from both of us. We met in the pub district of our city while both of us were partying. She asked me if I would like to come with her and her sister to a certain bar - and I did. We ended up holding hands the entire evening. Then we went for a walk where we chatted about what we've been up to for the past months. At 7:30AM we were close to her home when I picked up a cab and went home. Before I went home I suggested that we would meet for a lunch sometimes in the week.

 

We did that on Thursday. We talked for about an hour and a half about what we'd been up to for the past months. It was wonderful to meet again, this time sober. We talked about a camping trip we were both going on the day after. I was going with my friend and she was going with her friends. We ended up sleeping together in her tent for the first night. Her sister slept with us in the tent - but she didn't go to sleep until hours after us. Nothing sexual happened between us - but we had a short open discussion about our breakup - we were both drunk. She told me how much I hurt her by not talking to her after the breakup and she also told me that it hurt that I blocked and deleted her from my MSN account. That I did simply to maintain NC. I couldn't cope watching her and her friends coming and going offline all day long.

 

I haven't posted here since the camping trip. Since then we have spoken 3-4 times on MSN. Usually just a normal chitchatting. Sometimes initiated by my and sometimes by her. We usually talk for about an hour - which is the last hour at work, when she has finished all her projects. She barely uses MSN except at work. The conversations usually contain a lot of laughing and smileys. I never use MSN to talk about serious stuff, so it's just chitchatting. Last time we spoke on MSN was Wednesday - and she told me that her grandfather died the week before.

 

So I sent her an text message on Friday, the day of the funeral, telling her that would be sending her nice thoughts and sent my condolences to her and her sister. I didn't receive an answer.

 

I know she won't be online for the next two weeks as she is on summer vacation. I just don't know how I can express my interest in us back together. First of all I don't know if she has any feelings left towards me. But me sleeping in her tent, us holding hands again and chatting and texting again must mean something. I'm yet left to figure out if she's interested in me as a friend or a lover. I don't feel like we're at the stage that I can call her just to chat, like how we did very often. I also don't want to contact her too much - as I want to show her that I have a busy life with my friends too. My friends which I neglected while we were together (became the needy guy). I want to show her how I have changed. That must be done by actions not by words.

 

I've been following your advices to take things slowly and not looking too excited. I just don't know what my next steps are going to be. Especially as I know she won't be online for the next weeks - and I slowly want to continue to show her that I still care a lot for her. Or more like ... that my feelings have woken up again. Also I don't want to be put in the friends zone - guess that it also happens with ex lovers

 

So - if there is anyone out there who can give me some advice on my updated status. I would very much appreciate it. I'm so lost these days and I can't talk to anyone else ... as my friends have become fed up and start throw things at me when I mention her name

 

Take good care of yourselves

Kelso

[Kelso]

No thoughts or advice?

 

I guess it is a part of not being needy that I don't contact her for the two weeks she's on vacation. My birthday is coming up - so I guess I could invite her to the party.

 

I'm just so lost and it would be nice to get some second view on my situation.

[myhotrod123456789]

the best advice i would have is to take it slow. dont try to think about each step you are taking, just try to let it come naturally. you dont want her coming back into your life to set you back all these months. like you said, you shouldnt contact her until she gets back. you already expressed your condolences... so if she wants to contact you to talk while away, she will. if not, you guys will talk when she returns.