Brandish Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 My boyfriend and I have been together for nine years He keeps saying he wants to marry me but tells his friend in a email I read on his phone shame on me. He tells him that he is trying to avoid it. I love him very much but I keep thinking that he is not rreally in love with me anymore What should I do. I am soooo confused I think after 9 years of being together it should be a no brainer. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 My boyfriend and I have been together for nine years He keeps saying he wants to marry me but tells his friend in a email I read on his phone shame on me. He tells him that he is trying to avoid it. I love him very much but I keep thinking that he is not rreally in love with me anymore What should I do. I am soooo confused I think after 9 years of being together it should be a no brainer. Could be one of two problems: 1). He doesn't want to get married to anyone. 2). He doesn't want to get married to you. Either way, the result is the single life for you. You're either gullible or extremely patient - most marriage-minded folks would invest 3-4 years (tops!) in a realtionship before moving on and finding someone whose marital goals were more in line with their own. You may want to chart a similar course before any more time goes by ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Bottom line: It's been nine years and you're no closer to being married now than you were nine years ago. Actions speak louder than words. How many more years are you willing to invest in not getting married? Link to post Share on other sites
Hazy Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 In my opinion, he is being very disrespectful to you by writing things like "shame on you" to his friends. At least you know how he feels about marriage. It is time to cut bait and go fishing (i.e. Dump Him.) Good luck to you and I wish you well. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 I agree you should walk..I'm sure you hate that idea but you'd hate it more if you are still with him at age 60 going "when are we getting married"?-- I just think if he doesn't want it after 9 yrs. then he probably doesn't want it at all. That could be the case with anyone he dates though, not only you. Link to post Share on other sites
BentSpine Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Oh, I don't think that your partner loves you less now than before. He likely never wanted to get married but didn't say it outright for fear of you packing your bags and leaving. In any case, he wants you two to continue being loving partners. You must decide if getting the formal marriage is worth a break-up. Link to post Share on other sites
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