Tanny Posted March 5, 2003 Share Posted March 5, 2003 After a 3 year relationship, living together, with combined kids my ex left me saying he did not love me anymore. 2 weeks later he was with someone new, big time rebound. In the past 6 months we have had a few fights but have always kept contact. We even slept together a couple of times but I could not cope with that emotionally, still loved him so much. After a bad fight I exposed his infidelity to his girlfriends mum, he was confronted by her but his girlfriend was never told about it. We didnt speak for awhile but now we are friends again and he wants to sleep with me again and we are getting on really well. He has never been the type to sleep around, does this mean he still has feelings ? or is he learning that the grass is not always greener on the other side? I am now healing and dont want to end up down in "the pit" of depression again as I have my daughter to think of. I still love him and find him hard to resist ! Pls help me Tania, Australia Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted March 5, 2003 Share Posted March 5, 2003 This sounds to me like a guy who has no integrity (cheating multiple times on his girlfriend), and no consideration or respect for your feelings (coming onto you after leaving you for someone else, and having told you that he doesn't love you). I know what it's like to be caught up in the mystery of a guy who sends mixed signals -- but you'll get nowhere trying to read between the lines. It's much more black and white: he told you he doesn't love you, he left you and is with someone else, he has no problem toying with your emotions despite the fact that he's not in a position to follow through with anything meaningful. Those are the facts. The nuances, the circumstances, the excuses -- none of that matters as much as the bare facts do. And they are 100% bad. Yep, it's probably a rebound relationship. Yep, it'll probably end sooner rather than later, and badly. Yep, I'd bet that he has some unresolved feelings for you. BUT that doesn't mean he's someone you want to have in your life. He sounds like a selfish man who uses people as it suits him, who is good at lying -- probably to himself as well as to others. He's probably full of good reasons why he does the things he does, and how none of it is his fault really. "These things happen, that's the way love goes, I have to follow my heart." blah blah blah. He probably doesn't mean to cause any harm. But he is causing harm. To you, to his girlfriend, and to anyone else foolish enough to allow him to be a significant part of their lives. You've got kids -- small human beings who are actually growing and maturing every day. Why mess up your life (and consequently theirs) by taking on someone who may legally be an adult, but is still for all intents and purposes still a pathetic juvenile? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tanny Posted March 6, 2003 Author Share Posted March 6, 2003 Thankyou so much - you are SO RIGHT !!! I neede a reality check big time and you have helped a lot. Regards, Tania Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts