LDR ended.possible 2nd chance?

[dead.girls.dont.cry]

Sorry, but this is long.

 

Ok, I was going out with this guy named Cody for about 3 or 4 months, and it was wonderful. But then something happened. Every year around exam time I change. I become paranoid, angry, and jealous and it’s usually paired with trust issues. And it always affects one person in my life, it’s usually a friend. But this time, it was Cody. I would be quite evil too. I would pound him with questions (he hates questions…so it irritated him), I would not believe him, I would freak out if he was talking to another girl in the chat room, and I would even private message the girls he was talking to and question them (only 2 though) and I was over analyzing everything he was saying. He was quite upset about that. And he was really supportive about me getting help. But it got very bad to the point where our conversations were all fights. And I felt like he didn’t love me anymore.

Well, one day I decided, ok, maybe we should take a few days away from each other. We did and the day I messaged him, we talked and I think we got into a fight that night and he finally said he wanted to break up with me. And so we did. That night had to have been one of the worst. I couldn’t control my breathing, I was crying tons, I was shaking, and every few minutes I would feel like I was going to throw up. But then a few hours later, I decided to go back online to talk to him. We talked nicely. And we have talked every night since. But the thing is. We’ve also been fighting. And he told me just last night that he’s very sick of me not believing him and that he was almost to the point about not caring about me anymore.

I really love him. My life has been pretty much grey and depressing since he broke up with me. Not to mention miserable. And I feel really dead inside. Like I don’t really have the motivation to do anything anymore. I really want him back. I would beg at his feet to give me another chance. A chance not to be like that anymore. Because that’s not how I am. And it was really strange too. Whenever I would get into a fight with him, I wouldn’t feel like myself. But when he told me something negative, it was like I would come back. What should I do?

[Lyssa]

Why is it that you change when exam time? Pressure?

 

Did you talk to him about that?

 

I was in the same situation. Although I didn't question the girls he used to chat with but I did log in into his Flixster account and saw all the messages that was exchanged between him and the girls. So from there on, I always questioned him. I have to admit I do chat or rather I used to chat with other guys, but it was nothing like what he chatted with with those girls but at the same time, I know it could have lead to something if I let it so at the same time, when he read some of my messages, he started questioning me as well.

 

After a while, we decided that we couldn't go on without trusting one another so we just decided to trust one another and so far, it's all good.

 

Sometimes we are just paranoid because of our past r/ships. I'm not sure how your past r/ships were but my past r/ships were bad. I think you just need to trust him. If you keep questioning him or being suspicious of him, it will only push him away.. I guess that is what is happening..

[dead.girls.dont.cry]

ok, well

he told me that he isnt looking for a gf now.

and that he doesnt know if we could be together.

and i have gotten help from my councelor and its working.

but hes also telling me to move on b/c of the possibility that he might not be with me in the future.

i havent been so drilling with questions and ive been more trusting.

everyone is telling me to move on....but idk if i can.

plus the fact that cody is sending some major mixed signals to me.

GACHT!!!!

this stuff is making me mad.

[BohemeRose]

Sorry to hear things didn't work out, sweetie.

 

Just have to chalk it up to living and learning. At least you're doing something to better yourself, and perhaps you can find a relationship that is fulfilling for both you and your partner in the future.