All you self confident unjealous people

[Capricorn]

I notice lots of people on here bashing the "insecure jealous people"! So my question is for all you confident unjealous people: Instead of bashing these people for their insecurities why don't you share your secrets to being so self confident? I wonder how anyone in a relationship could never have a jealous moment, especially in this day and age where theres opportunity to cheat everywhere! Anyway I think even the people who say they don't get jealous actually do but don't want to show weakness, that or they don't care about the person they're with enough to fear loosing them.

[dbtmarley]

Capricorn's are meant to be jealous... don't take it personal.

[Capricorn]

Lol! Yes I guess capricorns are jealous but so are virgo,leo,sagitarius,taurus,cancers,pisces and scorpios. And watch out cause a jealous scorpio will get revenge and tear your head off!

[JackJack]

I really don't know why some people are more jealous than others. I personally, am not a jealous person. Have I ever been? Sure along time ago, and I do think we all have been jealous at one point in our lives even if it was just a little.

 

I can't speak for others who aren't the jealous types, but for me, I feel its a waste of MY time and energy. I get nothing out of it, it hurts me, it hurts the other person involved, and its not a place where I would like to put myself or keep myself. To me, jealousy serves no purpose for me. It doesn't mean I don't care, it just means I choose not to let jealousy take over my life.

 

Also, it doesn't mean people who are not jealous are better than the next person, it doesn't mean they care any less, it doesn't mean they are afraid to show their weakness and lie about being jealous.

 

I think its different for different people, and for those who are jealous, it doesn't mean they are weak either.

 

This is just based on how I feel on the matter, I can't speak for others.

[love necessity]

I notice lots of people on here bashing the "insecure jealous people"! So my question is for all you confident unjealous people: Instead of bashing these people for their insecurities why don't you share your secrets to being so self confident? I wonder how anyone in a relationship could never have a jealous moment, especially in this day and age where theres opportunity to cheat everywhere! Anyway I think even the people who say they don't get jealous actually do but don't want to show weakness, that or they don't care about the person they're with enough to fear loosing them.

 

I'm not saying that I don't get jealous, because I do. I see a pair of shoes on a girls from time to time that I might want. However, I don't go around yelling out to the world that I am jealous. I'd rather keep it to myself. Most people don't like sharing their jealousy, because there is really no point in talking about it. It's not anything we can see, it's only a thought that we create. I honestly think this world could be a better place if there were less of it, and I don't agree with you that people should go around talking about it more either. I also don't think that people should bash you for insecurites. Jealousy to me, is just another insecurity that this "perfect" world has ingrained into us!

[Cobra_X30]

Being jealous just takes so much effort. I suppose Im not because I just dont care that much. I'm not afraid be being alone... in fact I need alone time. Plus, if a girl did cheat I feel like I could replace her in a heartbeat.

[tinktronik]

you just have to accept that people are going to do whatever they are going to do and it has very little to do with you and that there is nothing you can do to assure another persons behavior. Only your own.

[Trialbyfire]

I've come to the conclusion for myself that a little jealousy is necessary in every romantic relationship. If you experience none, there's an inherent lack of value.

[halfarock]

I don’t understand jealousy. I’ve never felt it and I tend to look down on people who get jealous because jealous people often come off as being disturbed.

 

When I’m with my girlfriend I relish the moment. I don’t worry if it will last or not. I just make the best of it. Besides there are plenty of other women out there who would love to share in my enjoyment of life. Oh wait. There are other women who share my enjoyment of life. Maybe my girlfriend should be jealous but she isn't.

[amaysngrace]

I think when you feel insecure in your relationship you are jealous more often. It's kind of like a primal reaction to feel threatened if your relationship is not secure.

 

When you are in the right relationship those feelings subside.

[2sunny]

it's not in my nature to be jealous. no reason to be that way.

 

yes, i am a confident woman - but to be the jealous type only makes a person seem ugly... it is a useless trait - kind of like guilt...

[Lizzie60]

I used to be jealous when I was much younger... for many many years... it was miserable then.

 

I think jealousy is a characteristic 'trait' of young people who are insecure in their relationship or with low self-esteem.

 

I remember, with my last bf, at first he tried to make me jealous... and at one point, I told him that if he didn't stop his silly 'game' I would leave, because I never wanted to be jealous again... it is just an awful feeling. and he knew I meant it.. he stopped.

 

I don't have one single jealous bone in my body.

 

The thing is: if the SO or BF/GF really wants to cheat, they will, no matter what, so why being miserable about it, we never have control over people we love...

 

There is a difference between being jealous and being envious IMO, the latter being about material stuff. I am not envious either, never been, never will.

[Capricorn]

I agree jealousy is a crappy emotion to feel. Actually though my fiance gets jealous too. It's strange cause my ex boyfriend never got jealous and it actually kinda made me feel like he didn't care which obviously he didn't cause he left me for someone else. I'm not saying jealousy is good but I think if your SO never gets jealous that's kinda strange.

[2sunny]

jealousy doesn't mean you don't care for the person.

 

it means you are not a person that wishes to consider the time it takes to worry about the options = confidence.

[Trialbyfire]

To expand on my comment about a little bit of jealousy, in the past, I've never been a person who was. While I still believe that it's not healthy to be consistently jealous, a little of it means I value the other person enough to feel threatened once in awhile. If I experience none, it means I don't value them at all and am already bored or have blind trust, which is pretty much an impossibility, historical events considered.

[zilverenvlinder]

LOL. I'm a Scorpio.

 

I'm quite often jealous to where it's painful, but I'm also secretive. I've learned to hide it.

[bish]

I notice lots of people on here bashing the "insecure jealous people"! So my question is for all you confident unjealous people: Instead of bashing these people for their insecurities why don't you share your secrets to being so self confident?

 

Because the ones that bash them are way on the other side of the spectrum. They are the cocky ones that think they are god's gift to the opposite sex.

 

The only ones that won't bash the insecure people are the ones that are truly confident without being narcissitic.

The ones that bash the insecure are the ones that the opposite sex goes for, then later finds out what wastes of time they were.

[halfarock]

Because the ones that bash them are way on the other side of the spectrum. They are the cocky ones that think they are god's gift to the opposite sex.

 

The only ones that won't bash the insecure people are the ones that are truly confident without being narcissitic.

The ones that bash the insecure are the ones that the opposite sex goes for, then later finds out what wastes of time they were.

 

You are really wrong on this one. Firstly, there is no god so how could I be god’s gift. Secondly, the biggest waste of time is dealing with jealous people. I’ve had girlfriends who threw fits because they thought I was too friendly with the bank teller or the cashier at the grocery store. Another one called at least a dozen times a day just to make sure I wasn’t with someone else. One would physically attack me whenever I was more than five minutes late getting home, sure that I had stopped somewhere to get a quickie. Jealous people are disturbed.

[Capricorn]

Wow that is overboard jealous! My sister in law was like that with my brother if he was 10 minutes late coming home from work she would flip out. I guess I'm not that jealous cause my man goes to the bar and many times comes home 30 minutes late or more but I don't flip out. Now if he is many hours late I'd be mad cause he flips out if I'm late coming home too! I'm rarely ever out without him though.

[East of Jupiter]

There is jealousy and there is envy. If you want what someone else has, that's jealousy. If you wish you had what someone else had but not their, that's envy.

 

I was a very jealous and possesive person. After much grit in my life I figure out that it was rooted on my deep fear or abandonment. I experienced a lot of loss early in life.

 

It didn't help that I grew up with a highly competitive sister. You know, the kind who will sleep with anyone you are interested? Yes, she did. It went like this "who do you like?" I would say "Robert." Two weeks later she would announce "guess who I'm going out with? Robert!"

 

I know this sounds trite but jealousy is about trite feelings. My mother dressed us alike. She didn't get anything I didnt and vice versa.

 

That's as best as I can explain it.

 

I got over it after my worst fears came true. I had to face a lot of things and now I live without those feelings. I am no longer afraid of being abandoned. I am more concerned of me leaving instead. Oh the power of self!

[underpants]

Lol! Yes I guess capricorns are jealous but so are virgo,leo,sagitarius,taurus,cancers,pisces and scorpios. And watch out cause a jealous scorpio will get revenge and tear your head off!

 

Ha, I guess I am too much of an airhead to make the list.

 

I don't find jealousy beneficial, really. I guess a tiny bit might be okay. More often then not though, it just turns me off.

 

Envy, I will admit to having this from time to time. I think this can be healthy if it motivates you to improve an area in your life. Or make a change. Maybe envy unfulfilled or unprocessed can turn into jealously?

[bish]

You are really wrong on this one. Firstly, there is no god so how could I be god’s gift. Secondly, the biggest waste of time is dealing with jealous people. I’ve had girlfriends who threw fits because they thought I was too friendly with the bank teller or the cashier at the grocery store. Another one called at least a dozen times a day just to make sure I wasn’t with someone else. One would physically attack me whenever I was more than five minutes late getting home, sure that I had stopped somewhere to get a quickie. Jealous people are disturbed.

 

I pretty much agree....but what does all that have to do with what I said?

[Trialbyfire]

There is jealousy and there is envy. If you want what someone else has, that's jealousy. If you wish you had what someone else had but not their, that's envy.

Hey, this makes sense. Okay, I'm neither jealous or envious. What I can be is territorial. For some reason, I've tied this into jealousy.

[sb129]

As always there is a varying spectrum here. The crazed jealous psycho behaviour lurks at one end of it, and the nonchalant, thinks is gods gift to the opposite (or same) sex is at the other.

 

Most of us are somewhere in the middle, and as long as we treat our SOs with the respect we command FROM them, then they generally will respect us back by not doing things that will cause us to be jealous ie cheat etc.

 

This is pretty generalised. When I was an OW, I was infinitely more insecure and jealous than I am now, as exMM went home to his W every night- not a good thing to ensure trust and confidence in a R, therefore is became a vicious cycle, and ironically it was HIS jealousy that eventually destroyed the farce we called a R.

 

Now, I have no reason to be jealous, as I am happy and secure in the fact that wonderboy loves me and wants to be with me.

If i threw a hissy fit every time he was late home or talked to another female, i would be angry alot of the time and our R would suffer.... he would eventually not want to be around me... which would perpetuate the problem.

 

Having said that, he IS at a dinner tonight for a pre-wedding celebration of two of his closest friends.... his ex is the head bridesmaid.

 

I am not overjoyed at the fact that they will be in the same room tonight but getting worked up about it is utterly pointless. He would have gone whether I kicked off about it or not, as it is an important dinner for his friend. So instead of arguing about it, I have let it go- he was very sweet and reassuring tonight before he left, and has even called to check in unprompted!

He will be coming home to me tonight....probably smelling of booze and fags .

 

Jealousy is an empty poisonous emotion- a teeny bit keeps you on your toes, and stops you becoming complacent.... too much is destructive.

[Capricorn]

Yeah I guess my jealousy issue also stems from fear of abandonment! I love my man very much and the times I feel jealous/possesive is when I feel I could loose him. It's horrible to say but I kinda blame my dad cause my mom was a good wife and mother but he still cheated on her! It all happened when I was a teenager, I'm 26 now but sometimes fear the same could happen to me! Men seem very hard to please!