alphamale Posted July 29, 2007 Share Posted July 29, 2007 I agree with you here alphamale, i think commitment phobes are just afraid of making the wrong decision...to an extent that they behave that way to avoid being hurt or making a mistake. i'm a commitment-phobe because I prefer variety.... Link to post Share on other sites
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 29, 2007 Share Posted July 29, 2007 i'm a commitment-phobe because I prefer variety.... ahh, new insight...thankyou Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted July 29, 2007 Share Posted July 29, 2007 I agree with you here alphamale, i think commitment phobes are just afraid of making the wrong decision...to an extent that they behave that way to avoid being hurt or making a mistake. I don't know that it is a "wrong descision" thing. I also tend to abhor being pinned down for anything at all, I work for myself b/c I hate being schedualed, and don't particularly like to be stuck without a backtracking possibility of my own choice. However I take anything I commit to even appt. times ect. much more seriously that others I know so any commitment I make is firm and I will follow through even if others don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 29, 2007 Share Posted July 29, 2007 No anger there. I was speaking from experience. I married...I was dumb and naive. I learned better. Exactly. You were speaking from YOUR experience. Just because YOU had a bad experience with marriage does not mean that everyone else will as well. You stated that anyone who gets married is dumb and naive? You couldn't be farther from the truth. You have no idea how everyone's marriage will turn out. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 29, 2007 Share Posted July 29, 2007 i'm a commitment-phobe because I prefer variety.... A personal preference does not make you a commitment phobe. A phobia is a result of fear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amaysngrace Posted July 30, 2007 Author Share Posted July 30, 2007 AG, I have been in my R for about 6 yrs. now ; we both keep it comfortable by remembering that life is change and all relationships come to an end whether it be tomorrow or when one of us dies, but it is nice to know I could or he could easily take the out if we decided to without a hasstle. I understand that. Financial issues aren't my concern though. I know divorce is costly and we'd both stand to suffer financially but right now it'd actually make sense if we both sold our homes and bought one together. I think he's still waiting for me to get a job and by me not seeking employment I know I'm safe from living with him. It's my ace in the hole. Although tonight I did suggest that instead of getting two cheaper leaf-blowers we go halfsies and buy a better one together. I told him we could keep it at his house but he'd have to come blow my leaves when it needs to be done. So that's something, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author amaysngrace Posted July 30, 2007 Author Share Posted July 30, 2007 i think commitment phobes are just afraid of making the wrong decision...to an extent that they behave that way to avoid being hurt or making a mistake. I think you're right. Somewhere somehow trust got shattered...both the trust in yourself and the trust in others. It's okay to trust strangers or acquaintances that mean relatively nothing but when it comes to the deeper, more meaningful relationships that you make by choice commitment phobes would rather not go there. A phobia is a result of fear. Yep that's exactly what it is. You're only afraid because something or someone made you afraid enough to change who you were once were. And that is a person without this fear. It's a very sad thing that we can allow our blackboards to be written on by negative events or people and it changes who we are. It's even sadder for those who don't recognize it and therefore aren't able to get back to the person they were meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
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