BS horror stories

[Lyssa]

Well, I'll share what my ex-h, who was a BS, threatened when I made it clear I was leaving him: he threatened to kill my dog! How low is that? So I had to go steal my own dog while he was at work one day so nothing would happen to it!

 

Good for you and your dog!!

 

Wishing you more happiness in the future!

[justice]

I am a bs. But, I was not helpless, but I was a victim. A victim who was betrayed and lied to by both the ow and my now ex husband. After I found out about them, all I wanted was the truth, from either one of them. It never happened, all I got were more outrageous lies than before. BS horror stories? That really makes me laugh. And no, I'm not downing all ow's, only the ones like the one in my case, who chose to harrass and stalk me and destroy my property after she and my husband destroyed life as I knew it. Bitter? Yes, perhaps a little. Wiser, much more now. How can you be sure your mm isn't lying to you about the bs? Mine told the ow so many lies that weren't true, and by the time she realized that he was lying, he had already thrown her under the bus and she was in jail, on two counts of violating a restraining order, both his order and mine, plus the property damages and additional charges. So I think you might want to look somewhat further into what makes a bs a horror story before sitting judgement on them.

[Cliche]

Well..It's alot different when you're actually M to someone and you have many other things to deal w/ besides just "pillow talk"...Sometimes, there is simply no time for pillow talk...A's aren't reality...That's just not how real R's are...

 

OOD,

I had a marriage that was similar to yours in several respects. In all due respect and said with the kindest of intentions, yours is not a "real" relationship either. The abuse you suffer puts you in an altered state of reality. In "real" relationships, people love one another and do not intentionally harm one another or cause them to continually question themselves.

 

I'm not saying that my A is real, so no need to counter with that if it were your (or anothers) intention to do so.

 

It is because of the defects of our situations that we both suffer. Real Rs are mostly uplifting, even though they may be "work."

[Cliche]

BS horror stories? That really makes me laugh. And no, I'm not downing all ow's, only the ones like the one in my case, who chose to harrass and stalk me and destroy my property after she and my husband destroyed life as I knew it. Bitter? Yes, perhaps a little. Wiser, much more now. How can you be sure your mm isn't lying to you about the bs? Mine told the ow so many lies that weren't true, and by the time she realized that he was lying, he had already thrown her under the bus and she was in jail, on two counts of violating a restraining order, both his order and mine, plus the property damages and additional charges. So I think you might want to look somewhat further into what makes a bs a horror story before sitting judgement on them.

 

Are you suggesting that there aren't spouses who are mean-spirited, treat their spouses badly, are sometimes abusive or inconsiderate, or just flat out don't care about their spouse? Because I've met all of the above, in marriages that did and did not involve affairs.

 

I don't think all BS' are the way their spouses say they are. But I'm sure some of them are.

[Curmudgeon]

Since you have such a low opinion of men then why do you sell yourself to them? By the way, your 90% figure is simply more of your fuzzy math. Just because you invite men to cheat with you doesn't mean that such a large percentage of the male population does, merely the ones who patronize you. Your skewed view is a product of your ....ummm.... "profession."

[Darth Vader]

I think it IS time.

 

My ex and I had been together for two months and I was over at his apartment one night and his W hadn't found out about us yet but was desperately wanting him to move back home with her, he and I were back at his place and she had been calling his house all evening. Finally he answered the phone and took the call, he knew something was up 'cause normally he would just turn his cell off and ignore it. Well he answered the phone and was on the phone with her for nearly half an hour because she was hysterically crying and begging him to come back home. I sat right next to him hearing her wailing from the other end. In the end she also threatened to kill herself if he did not go back home to give their marriage another chance! I heard every single word she was screaming on the other end it was hard NOT to hear it.

 

needless to say our evening got cut short because he had to go console her, of course I told her he HAD to I was afraid she might hurt herself. But he ended up going and eventually called her sister to go take care of her since she was out of her mind that night....her sister didn't even budge, her response was "she'll get over it" Nice family...

 

I have more embarassing stories to tell but I won't that one is bad enough.

 

I have done a lot of things in my life but if there is one thing I would NEVER do is beg a man to come back into my life, let alone threaten to end my life for him YIKES!!!

 

 

And to think, you helped to cause that outburst of that BS.

[justice]

Are you suggesting that there aren't spouses who are mean-spirited, treat their spouses badly, are sometimes abusive or inconsiderate, or just flat out don't care about their spouse? Because I've met all of the above, in marriages that did and did not involve affairs.

 

I don't think all BS' are the way their spouses say they are. But I'm sure some of them are.

 

No, I'm not. I'm simply saying that some of the cheating w's or h's simply portray their spouse as being that way in order to earn the ow or om's sympathy, therefore making it easier to break down any defenses. That's what I'm saying.

[vanilla chai]

 

you never had any respect for her to begin with,after all you are sleeping with her hubby.

[Tomcat33]

And to think, you helped to cause that outburst of that BS.

 

If you threaten suicide because your H leaves you, you have no one to blame but yourself. She was clearly not emotionally stable.

 

He left me at one point I didn't want to kill myself!!!

 

 

If you think people cause people to do things, then you more than likely also thing that she caused her husband to leave her for another woman. No bouble standards now DV...

[FireandIce]

No, I'm not. I'm simply saying that some of the cheating w's or h's simply portray their spouse as being that way in order to earn the ow or om's sympathy, therefore making it easier to break down any defenses. That's what I'm saying.

 

Or perhaps to make them feel less guilty about what they are doing. If they villianize the BS then it probably doesn't seem as bad.

 

I actually have a funny (well, funny to me) story. My H and I are still working on things (probably will be for quite awhile) and one of our issues was the fact that we never went out together without the kids. So now we go out once every couple of weeks for drinks with friends or just alone. Anyways, my H has a friend that I know is a total player from the stories my H has told me in the past. He has been living with his GF for 7 years (so considered common law here in Canada), just recently bought a house together and by all outward appearances, seem very happy. Well he cheats......all the time. Last time my H and I went out with friends this guy was there as well. He sat there with me (while I gave him crap for cheating and telling him what a pig he is) and gave me his big sob story. The whole time he talked (aka whined) I kept thinking about what I had read here in the OW section. "She's not a nice person to me", "If you had to go home and listen to someone put you down all of the time then you'd find someone else too", "I love her but she pushes me away and won't let me show her how much I care." blah, blah, blah. Granted, I don't know what goes on behind closed doors (none of us truly do) but so much of what he said is the exact same stuff that the MM tells the OW here in this forum.

 

The icing on the cake was when he asked me if I wanted to go and make out while my husband was busy talking to some other people. I just smacked him upside the head and once again, called him a pig.

[Darth Vader]

If you threaten suicide because your H leaves you, you have no one to blame but yourself. She was clearly not emotionally stable.

 

He left me at one point I didn't want to kill myself!!!

 

 

If you think people cause people to do things, then you more than likely also thing that she caused her husband to leave her for another woman. No bouble standards now DV...

 

 

But, who helped to cause the emotional instability, you! By banging her husband. Still spewing BULLCRAP, huh? Stop trying to twist my words.

[Tomcat33]

But, who helped to cause the emotional instability, you! By banging her husband. Still spewing BULLCRAP, huh? Stop trying to twist my words.

 

I didn't even know her how could I cause her emotional instability?? :laugh:

They were seperated at the time and she didn't even know I was in the picture.

And anyhow even if she did know about me..

 

Who threatens to kill themselves after their husband leaves them?

 

answer: An emotionally unstable person.

[bish]

and Once a cheater, always a cheater, it's only a matter of time after they get caught...it can take a few years, but they will cheat again if they have the opportunity...it's that simple.

 

Well damn, I never thought I'd say it, but this is one thing we can definitely agree on.

[bish]

Yup true.. it's a lot easier for a woman.. a lot harder for a man....

 

Not from what I've seen....once a cheater always a cheater...whether a man or a woman.

 

Someone can say they will never cheat again, and may have made somewhat good on that promise for years, but given the perfect opportunity, a cheater will cheat again.

[Hurt & Alone]

When my XMM's BS found out she contacted me on the phone. I was taking a nap at the time and did not know the number coming in. I was dumb founded becasue she was quating some of the things that I had sent him in an e-mail. She was very calm about it and said some horrible things. Yes, I did deserve them but I never once admitted to her that there was an affair. I told her that no one has admitted to doing anything wrong at this point. I did not feel it was my place to tell her. After 45 minutes she ended the conversation stating that I was being coy. Ten minutes later he called and asked what was going on? I replied that he needed to tell me? Apperently, he was not home when she called but, after contacting me she put all the evidence on the table and he admitted everything.

The next day I received a dozen of roses and and teddy bear with a card that said "I realize I love you even more. Our times together are the best in my life. Love X (your boss and lover)"

The next day another dozen roses were sent, but , i was not there and received a text. MOre roses should I get rid of them? By the time I made it back to work he had already rid of them. I never did find out what the card read with this set.

She called me a few time a day for a couple weeks. I did talk to her, thinking that somehow it would make things easier. She begged me to give him a place to stay. I tried to hide the relationship I had with him and make it less than what it was. Ultimatley it became more devestating to me to have contact with the BS because I love him so much and I could not heal with trying to make her feel better and pretending that the A was less than what it was. Also, I no longer had him. No one was throwing me a lfie vest. After sending an e-mail to him that I was not going to speak with her any longer etc.. she contacted me again and left a message that she was being kind and was only giving me an option to save my job, but since I did not want that she would no longer contact me and would come be contact the HR Dept. Of course she had tried but no one will listen to her because there were no complaints coming from him or I.

She showed up at the office and glared at me while I was out on a break. I was not sure of who she was but the glaring made me suspect. I later found out my intution was correct. Argument occurs because of this so my xmm calls her and tells her not to show up at the office. She contacted me bc of this and said I was harrassing her.

Following week she tries to send flowers to the office from me to him.

Following week I receiv an e-mail from her of a pic of him.

I can only imagine what this upcoming week is going to bring. Yet she stays with him. he has stated to her that he would sign the D papers if that is what she wanted but she doesnt want that either. Right now the only thing she does want is everyone to suffer.

[East of Jupiter]

That story sound salot like others I have heard from OW, that have dealt with BS. It happens alot.

 

After the **** hit the fan and both the BS and I found out what was happening, he instatntly told her he wanted a divorce and begged me give him another chance. i eventually gave in because the moron I was, I loved him. One morning at about 1am, he was on the phone with me in his home office (he hadn't moved out yet and was sleeping on a couch to try to make things less messy for his kids) I had the privilege of listening to her screaming at the top of her lungs, "I'm going to slit my ****in throat and it's all your daddy's fault!" She then went into a screaming fit that lasted almost an hour. By the end of it, their kids were hysterically crying and hidding in the back yard. It was at that moment I lost all respect for her.

 

Wow. How terribly sad for everyone involved, especially the children. If anything it shows how devestating betrayal can be to a person. Unless, you have been there, I can see why it would be hard to understand.

 

But I don't think the blame for this falls squarely on the BW. Had her husband had the gonads to end his marriage like a man rather than creating this mess for his wife and children, things would have been quite different. Don't you think?

 

How easy it all seems for the MM. He gets to choose which woman he wants. If he hurts others, they are just crazy -- whether BW or OW.

 

It just seems to me the women always end up looking bad while they guy gets to feel grand about being fought over.

[enoughisenough]

Why is it any less pathetic to hang onto someone else's man? Don't think any single men out there would want you or what?? Married men go for whoever will put out to someone taken and the women usually are pathetic and insecure about themselves. YOu fit the bill.

[enoughisenough]

"I'm going to slit my ****in throat and it's all your daddy's fault!" She then went into a screaming fit that lasted almost an hour. By the end of it, their kids were hysterically crying and hidding in the back yard. "UM, he remained on the phone for the entire hour she was screaming?? It seems you all need help. If you knew another woman was suicidal because of an affair and you were needy and desperate enough to keep in contact, I find that truly selfish and disgusting. All of you sound low-class to me.

[Hurt & Alone]

I beleive in her story she stated the W did not know of the affair.

 

From reading the posts in the OW/OM forum I have not seen one person here that I would call Low-Class except for the ones that come into this forum and make judgements on others.

[East of Jupiter]

I beleive in her story she stated the W did not know of the affair.

 

From reading the posts in the OW/OM forum I have not seen one person here that I would call Low-Class except for the ones that come into this forum and make judgements on others.

 

 

It is counterproductive on both ends. But I've come to expect the cycle. Eventually both a BW and and OW have clearer thoughts and logical.

 

An affair is just an emotional virus that infects everyone involved. Just because you are the OW doesn't mean you deserve to be hurt or injured by the MM, the BW or others. And frankly, I think most OW end up having to lick their wounds while the MM goes back to playing house with his family.

 

Mine did. And I know this was a huge blow to the OW. He kissed my rear end for a very long time (okay, he always has and I like it) while she was left empty handed and without any answers. I got some closure.

 

I can't put down an OW/OM without putting down my own husband.

[Tomcat33]

"I'm going to slit my ****in throat and it's all your daddy's fault!" She then went into a screaming fit that lasted almost an hour. By the end of it, their kids were hysterically crying and hidding in the back yard. "UM, he remained on the phone for the entire hour she was screaming?? It seems you all need help. If you knew another woman was suicidal because of an affair and you were needy and desperate enough to keep in contact, I find that truly selfish and disgusting. All of you sound low-class to me.

 

 

I would hate to see you as a support member of a kids suicide group. You would probably blame the parents for their children's tendecnies to want to commit suicide. Suicide is less about poinitng fingers to blame people and more about getting to the bottom of why a human being would threaten to take their own life.

 

Having worked with kids with those types of tendencies it is more often than not an extreme cry out for help about what they are feeling and less about blaming the parents or anyone in their lives really.

[East of Jupiter]

You know it was very strange but my husband's OW said a lot of crazy things that made no sense. I have no idea how she came to her conclusions but probably because she knew next to nothing about me --he never discussed me or our marriage with her. She insisted that I had money and that is why he stayed with me. Not even close.

 

She assumed our sex life was bad. Not even close. She thought she would spice up our sex life. Not even close (she prude, me sexually wild). I can see why she thought those things but she was wrong. She thought she was the only one. She was wrong. She thought he would be more loyal to her than his wife. She was wrong. She thought he would leave me. She was wrong. She thought I would divorce him. She was wrong.

 

And all those wrongs turned her into a very angry and vengeful woman who targeted the wrong person, the BW. As I told her, she was barking up the wrong tree and directed her to my husband. When he confirmed for her she was wrong, she wanted to hurt him. To get to him, she went through me and my kids. She was wrong.

 

I think this happens a lot due to the confusion that is inherent in affairs. There are a lot of things unsaid and a lot of lies said. It all festers underground until the crap erupts.

[East of Jupiter]

I would hate to see you as a support member of a kids suicide group. You would probably blame the parents for their children's tendecnies to want to commit suicide. Suicide is less about poinitng fingers to blame people and more about getting to the bottom of why a human being would threaten to take their own life.

 

Having worked with kids with those types of tendencies it is more often than not an extreme cry out for help about what they are feeling and less about blaming the parents or anyone in their lives really.

 

 

I have had my own bouts. But on DD I was not suicidal. I was homicidal.

[whichwayisup]

Could be mistaken but didn't we find out that that one was part of an experiment or am I confused.

 

I can't remember...Could be her... Here is that thread though.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t117712/

[East of Jupiter]

I would hate to see you as a support member of a kids suicide group. You would probably blame the parents for their children's tendecnies to want to commit suicide. Suicide is less about poinitng fingers to blame people and more about getting to the bottom of why a human being would threaten to take their own life.

 

Having worked with kids with those types of tendencies it is more often than not an extreme cry out for help about what they are feeling and less about blaming the parents or anyone in their lives really.

 

BS suspected that I'm having an affair with her husband. She emailed me several times but none of my replies indicated that I know her husband.

 

After that, she just stopped emailing.

 

But what those other BS have done, I think it's just sad.

 

I do not beg any man to stay. I wouldn't want my man to stay when I know for a fact, he doesn't want to. It's not fair for him and I for sure, just don't like the idea of begging. Heck! I never beg for anything!!

 

 

WAs she begging in her emails? I think BS have a strong need to know what is going on in their lives and when someone you trust plays head games with you, yeah it might make you a lil crazy.

 

I'm with you. I don't beg. I also have never fought for another man.

 

I'm too emotionally scarred to play emotional head games. I like my medicine straight up.