Tomcat33 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 I have had my own bouts. But on DD I was not suicidal. I was homicidal. :lmao: Well that I can see and don't really blame you. At least you have a good sense of self, no man or woman is worth your own life...but thiers....? Link to post Share on other sites
child_of_isis Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 She believed MM. These are the things he told her. And they are pretty much standard MM lines. He didn't have to discuss you nor the M. He just threw out the standard lines. I would say that this is not his first go round? He sounds like he has a few under his belt. You know it was very strange but my husband's OW said a lot of crazy things that made no sense. I have no idea how she came to her conclusions but probably because she knew next to nothing about me --he never discussed me or our marriage with her. She insisted that I had money and that is why he stayed with me. Not even close. She assumed our sex life was bad. Not even close. She thought she would spice up our sex life. Not even close (she prude, me sexually wild). I can see why she thought those things but she was wrong. She thought she was the only one. She was wrong. She thought he would be more loyal to her than his wife. She was wrong. She thought he would leave me. She was wrong. She thought I would divorce him. She was wrong. . Link to post Share on other sites
InfinitySymbol Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 The only thing I can say about my MM's W is one phrase : Guilt using the kids She couldnt say she loved him. She didnt mention MC. ( Wants nothing to do with it). She couldnt say he loves/loved her because she knows that is over. (B4 i hear he only told you what you wanted to hear - sorry i heard everything and she admitted it to me) Oh b4 i forget. I did something to him....I still cant figure that one out. What did i do to him? So she used past tramantic ( sorry sp) issues. And the kids to gulit him into staying. Link to post Share on other sites
East of Jupiter Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 I can't remember...Could be her... Here is that thread though. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t117712/ Yikes. My good friend's husband had a child with his mistress. The wife is presently helping to raise the child with the MM. He didn't leave his wife. As much as the OW is hating it, her child spends every other weekend with the BS. My friend has more grace than anyone I know and loves and cares for this child as if one of her own. Trust me it has not been easy. It's been about three years. I don't think this is something people expect or plan on. It works both ways doesn't it? Heck I knew of a case where the MM and his wife filed to take custody of the child. Another lady lives in fear of her cop ex MM taking the kid since his wife can't have any. Once she finds out .. hello step mommy! Very few happy endings in this scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 I think JB either lost the baby or decided to have an abortion. Either way, her and the MM are over. Link to post Share on other sites
enoughisenough Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 I would hate to see you as a support member of a kids suicide group. You would probably blame the parents for their children's tendecnies to want to commit suicide. Suicide is less about poinitng fingers to blame people and more about getting to the bottom of why a human being would threaten to take their own life. Having worked with kids with those types of tendencies it is more often than not an extreme cry out for help about what they are feeling and less about blaming the parents or anyone in their lives really. A lot things that go wrong with children DO STEM from the parents. Environment is the biggest fact when molding a child. Apparently you would want to avoid all parental responsibility.Yeah it's a CRY for help because they are not getting enough attention in their own life from family or anyone else. Where are the goddamn parents??? Link to post Share on other sites
East of Jupiter Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 :lmao: Well that I can see and don't really blame you. At least you have a good sense of self, no man or woman is worth your own life...but thiers....? That I do. I have fought tooth and nail for that. I was not much different than the BS described here in my "crazy" days. I knew something was wrong and I knew he was lying. It is very disorienting and after a while, it does drive you literally up a wall. I can sometimes copy word for word what some say here that was said about me. The BS crying on the other end of the phone to her husband? Yes, that was me. I still don't undestand why that made her angry. He was playing head games and I was at home with four small children. Talk about stress! My life was coming undone and I had every right to cry. I don't for one minute feel badly or weak about that. I was trying to save my marriage and I didn't even know what was going on yet. It was during that very same phone conversation that he realized what he was doing and broke off the affair. I think this is why she was angry about my tears. She blamed me for his wanting to not continue the affair. That was his choice, not mine. No amount of tears can make a man love you or love anyone else less. We all know we can't force anyone into anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Yikes. My good friend's husband had a child with his mistress. The wife is presently helping to raise the child with the MM. He didn't leave his wife. As much as the OW is hating it, her child spends every other weekend with the BS. My friend has more grace than anyone I know and loves and cares for this child as if one of her own. Trust me it has not been easy. It's been about three years. I don't think this is something people expect or plan on. It works both ways doesn't it? Heck I knew of a case where the MM and his wife filed to take custody of the child. Another lady lives in fear of her cop ex MM taking the kid since his wife can't have any. Once she finds out .. hello step mommy! Very few happy endings in this scenario. Oh my god what a horrible situation to me in. For both women really...for the BS how do you overcome your own feeling and care for a child you know is a product of your H's infidelity and for the OW how do you share your child with your lover's family? What a messed up situation!!! InfinitySymbol: A lot of people use guilt to trick their partners into staying with them...it is a knee jerk reaction product of the intense neediness one feels when they are faced with losing their partner, esp to another person. I think down the road when the neediness subsides those feelings tend to be more even kealed and then a person might even feel shame and dissatisfaction for getting someone to stay with them through a bribe or guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
enoughisenough Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 I beleive in her story she stated the W did not know of the affair. From reading the posts in the OW/OM forum I have not seen one person here that I would call Low-Class except for the ones that come into this forum and make judgements on others. Actions speak louder than words. She and him are both low-class, that is if you take this thread into factual consideration.The same goes for the woman who slept with the MM in the same room her kids, his kids and his wife were sleeping.Those tendencies are extremely low-class and twisted. A lot of these women need mental help. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 I was at home with four small children. I do not understand a man who does that to his wife, who was pregnant 4 times with his children. It's so f**k'n disrespectful and SELFISH of him to treat you like a piece of crap, let alone cheat and make it seem like you were the crazy one. People DO and SAY things they normally wouldn't ever do, but during situations like this, and when pushed past their emotional limit, anything can happen. Just look at that ex Nasa woman who drove across the country in a DIAPER! Link to post Share on other sites
RIDINGTHEBULLS1 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Are you sure this thread shouldn't read as "OW horror stories"? You came into someone elses life causing problems and NOT the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
InfinitySymbol Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 InfinitySymbol: A lot of people use guilt to trick their partners into staying with them...it is a knee jerk reaction product of the intense neediness one feels when they are faced with losing their partner, esp to another person. I think down the road when the neediness subsides those feelings tend to be more even kealed and then a person might even feel shame and dissatisfaction for getting someone to stay with them through a bribe or guilt. I know that they talk even less now then B4 ( this is on both parts). This could be on her part how she got him to stay and on his part regret. He said he has regret for staying after D-day. I believe for him now he feels he needs to accomplish a goal he set out to do that involves his child. And then he can leave with a somewhat clear conscience for himself. ( I hope this doesnt come out to offend anyone. I'm really not sure how to really state this point anyother way) Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 The same goes for the woman who slept with the MM in the same room her kids, his kids and his wife were sleeping.Those tendencies are extremely low-class and twisted. I hate to say it but that I would def have to agree with that. that's straight out of Jerry Springer. Are you sure this thread shouldn't read as "OW horror stories"? You came into someone elses life causing problems and NOT the other way around. Oh Ridingbulls you should be one to talk YOU INTRODUCED THE OW into your married life, who are you to blame anothe woman for the pain YOU caused your W. That is the epitome of hypocricy. You talk sometimes towards other women like you were completey absent of your whole AFFAIR. HELLO you were participant #1 in the 2 person A. Unless of course the OW tied you down drugged you and held you hostage Stephen King's Mysery style, for the extent of your A.....:lmao: I do not understand a man who does that to his wife, who was pregnant 4 times with his children. It's so f**k'n disrespectful and SELFISH of him to treat you like a piece of crap, let alone cheat and make it seem like you were the crazy one. People DO and SAY things they normally wouldn't ever do, but during situations like this, and when pushed past their emotional limit, anything can happen. Just look at that ex Nasa woman who drove across the country in a DIAPER! I agree on every count. Link to post Share on other sites
RIDINGTHEBULLS1 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 ALL women are needy.If it wasn't the case, nobody would be fighting over some turd.Not the wife nor the OW.Honestly, not many of these OW know the pain of having a life-long partner do this to them and I think it's in bad taste to post about a BS' problem that is so serious. And she does it in jest almost yet. Calling it a "horror story". I think the only horror going on is in the BS life after reading this; not your life. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 ALL women are needy.If it wasn't the case, nobody would be fighting over some turd.Not the wife nor the OW A BW or a BH have EVERY RIGHT to fight for their marriage! What do you expect the wife or husband just to hand over their spouse because an OW or OM WANTS him/her? TC, I'm pretty sure that ridingthebulls is a betrayed spouse, not a cheating husband. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Are you sure this thread shouldn't read as "OW horror stories"? You came into someone elses life causing problems and NOT the other way around. The title is true, it's the thread that is skewd wrongly! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 ALL women are needy.If it wasn't the case, nobody would be fighting over some turd.Not the wife nor the OW.Honestly, not many of these OW know the pain of having a life-long partner do this to them and I think it's in bad taste to post about a BS' problem that is so serious. And she does it in jest almost yet. Calling it a "horror story". I think the only horror going on is in the BS life after reading this; not your life. Well it is an OW forum so if you don't like it I recommend you find a cheater's forum and unite with the folks there... Now if this thread had been posted on the Infidelity forum that would be considered in poor taste. It just makes me laugh how many people who don't want to read what is said here come here to complain about what is being posted. It's easy, don't come here if you don't like what you read. Furthermore I think it's even in poorer taste to put the woman that sat by your side when you got laid off, the one who takes care of you like prob your own mother didnt, the one who bore your beautiful children and who will probably change your depends when you age like and old bugger, through an act as selfish as infidelity. ARe you really in any place to point out what is in poor taste? Link to post Share on other sites
InfinitySymbol Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 A BW or a BH have EVERY RIGHT to fight for their marriage! What do you expect the wife or husband just to hand over their spouse because an OW or OM WANTS him/her? I would understand this statement if there is love between the H and W. But when there isnt any. Then why fight for something that isnt there. Why not find happiness either one deserves. Link to post Share on other sites
RIDINGTHEBULLS1 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Tom, it takes two to tango. OW are EQUALLY to blame considering that they are COMPLAINING ABOUT A FALLOUT FROM THE WIFE>>> HAHA> FUNNIEST THING I'VE HEARD LATELY. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 TC, I'm pretty sure that ridingthebulls is a betrayed spouse, not a cheating husband. Well it's unforunate you are pretty sure about something you are completly wrong on. He's a cheater, click on his past posts Link to post Share on other sites
RIDINGTHEBULLS1 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Well it's unforunate you are pretty sure about something you are completly wrong on. He's a cheater, click on his past posts Where did I state I "cheated"? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Yes, once all other measures have failed, then why stay together. Problem is, many cheaters who go back may feel they don't love their spouses anymore, but in time, that love does come back. It's hard to throw away a 20 year + marriage with kids, and the longer the two are married, the chances of them ending it and moving on are slim to none. As we age, it gets harder to change, so that's prob. why some sexless, loveless marriages continue. They're more roommates and there for companionship rather than a husband and a wife. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Well it's unforunate you are pretty sure about something you are completly wrong on. He's a cheater, click on his past posts I did and nothing in there indicates he is a cheater. A cheating MM doesn't talk the way he talks, unless he's pissed at his exOW. Anyway, thanks for pointing out that I'm completely wrong. Does it honestly really matter that much to you that I'm wrong? But hey, if I was mistaken and wrong, I have no problem admitting it. Link to post Share on other sites
InfinitySymbol Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Yes, once all other measures have failed, then why stay together. Problem is, many cheaters who go back may feel they don't love their spouses anymore, but in time, that love does come back. It's hard to throw away a 20 year + marriage with kids, and the longer the two are married, the chances of them ending it and moving on are slim to none. As we age, it gets harder to change, so that's prob. why some sexless, loveless marriages continue. They're more roommates and there for companionship rather than a husband and a wife.[/quote] That statement right there is VERY SAD...But some do leave to be happy. Might not be easy to leave. But some do and both find they were much better off. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 I did and nothing in there indicates he is a cheater. A cheating MM doesn't talk the way he talks, unless he's pissed at his exOW. Anyway, thanks for pointing out that I'm completely wrong. Does it honestly really matter that much to you that I'm wrong? But hey, if I was mistaken and wrong, I have no problem admitting it. NO actually the one who is wrong is me. I clicked on Ridingthebulls1's posts and it's not him, there is a poster with the neame Ridingthebulls with no number in the end who IS the cheater. Funny they would both have the exact same, I thought maybe Ridinthebulls decided to reinvent himself by adding a # to his name in order to get some cred. when he posts, because posting as a cheater maybe he wasn't getting as much respect...just a thought. I could be wrong again. I gotta run but I will check later to see when Ridingthebulls stopped posting and Ridingthebulls1 did just for fun... If I am way off I apologise for the mixup. Link to post Share on other sites
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