HokeyReligions Posted April 15, 2003 Posted April 15, 2003 If you want help dumping the creep, call the FBI. They will help you - they are looking for him, and others like him. It's not up to you to gather all the information or facts before reporting him. Investigation and determination of the facts is the feds job. Let them do it. You have access to his computer so when he gets arrested for this, you could be charged too. For all you know, the FBI is conducting a scan of this website now and reading your posts, and tracking you down to find the jerk you are talking about. That is one way the feds find pedophiles and other criminals - they have a staff that monitors websites. The www is big so a lot of things get by a few times, but eventually they are tracked down. Hold your head up and leave him and call the cops.
katy_katt Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 Words to both of you, Sweet Julia and Velvet Girl, LEAVE THESE GUYS. Their selfishness has caused you too much pain, suffering, and anxiety to make it worth your while. They are lying to you about where this stuff is coming from, causing you to begin snooping on their computer when they aren't around, generally making your life a living hell. Do you really want to spend your days at work or your nights worrying about what he is doing on the computer...do you want to spend the rest of your free time when he isn't around checking to see just what else he has downloaded? Guys like that just aren't worth it. It's true that looking at underage girls on the Net does not make somebody a pedophile...some of them might just get off on the fact that these girls are putting their pics up for all to see. And in some ways it can be healthy. But lying and trying to cover it up isn't healthy. Neither is snooping and worrying yourselves sick. If you can talk to them freely and tell them exactly how you feel and why you can't be with them anymore, do it. If not, just leave them and don't return their calls. They have told you they would no longer do it and are still doing it, so how many more times would it take before you finally realize that they're just not telling the truth? If they truly respect you and your relationship then they will seek counselling for themselves, but it is NOT UP TO YOU TO HELP THEM. If they do seek counselling, I suggest you still take a break from them for a while. Oh, and if you find yourself wanting to talk to the guy right after you break up with him, I heard some very good advice: live through it for at least 6 weeks and don't call him. After those six weeks you will hopefully know whether or not you would still want to be with him. Kate
SweetJulia Posted May 10, 2003 Posted May 10, 2003 Last week my boyfriend left me. I had been depressed and crying for the last weeks. I was seeing a therapist to be able to leave him. I still feel depressed, but I couldn't have gone on like this much longer. I never told him why I was crying. He told me I should continue my therapy, and if I got better, maybe we could get back together. (I know he didn't mean it) He said I was too unstable for him. What I find most difficult now, is all the guilt I have for having looked into his stuff. I feel ashamed and worthless. I was caught in a spiral of craziness I find. Do you think it is because I suffer from, in French we say, dépendance affective? I knew I was in a relationship not good for me, yet I couldn't get out. I always try to rationalize things. If someone types underage in KAAza, does that make them someone who's into kiddie porn? He has told me so many things that I now feel I'm the one who overeacted maybe. Would it have been better if I hadn't looked, if I hadn't known.
Just A Girl2 Posted May 10, 2003 Posted May 10, 2003 SweetJulia, Honest to God, you have not overreacted in the least. What's happened is the classic move on your b/f's part....of twisting it all around to make it look like YOU are the one who's got the problem. Women in abusive relationships (abuse can come in all forms: mental, emotional, verbal, physical, sexual) live with this all the time. You have to think logically here. Remove your 'emotions' from this. Your guy was getting THRILLS by viewing pictures of young girls...CHILDREN...NAKED CHILDREN. This is AGAINST THE LAW. Him doing this was not a one-time, isolated incident. Guys like this can give you several lame-assed explanations as to how these illegal pics "got onto" their computer, but it's all BS. No woman should be involved with a man who's into this kind of thing. The authorities have ways of searching the internet daily, to find people who download child porn........you can bet your money on that. It is ILLEGAL, and they can be charged and prosecuted and jailed. From a strictly logical point of view, why would you want to be in any way associated with someone who's breaking the law and at risk for being arrested and jailed? And think about how totally disgusting it is.....a guy enjoying pictures of sweet innocent little girls.........that is enough to make me puke. It is a horrid indication of blatant disrespect for children. People who view this trash are supporting and perpetuating the dirty world of child porn. These are real live innocent little girls out there.......who are being molested, exploited and God knows what else. Think about why on earth you would miss or want to be with a guy who exploited innocent little children. Both of you have to ask yourself WHY in God's name you'd want to have anything to do with a MAN who got his jollies out of viewing pictures of naked, innocent, EXPLOITED little girls. Then you need to wake up.
Gray Posted May 23, 2003 Posted May 23, 2003 Because I've posted on just about every other porn post, I thought I'd throw my two cents in on this one. Kiddie porn is not only illegal, it is probably the worst explotation a child could go through. If this guy is getting his rocks off to 14 year olds, he has serious issues. I know it may be hard but I would definately dump him. Hell I'd consider turning him in to the proper authorities. HE'S SUPPORTING THE ABUSE OF YOUNG KIDS!!! That CANNOT stand.
Reader Posted June 7, 2003 Posted June 7, 2003 I totally agree with what the administrators have said... but also, do you believe it is just as bad for people aged 13-18 to be viewing pictures of people 13-18?
aussiegirl72 Posted June 7, 2003 Posted June 7, 2003 hi i have just gotten out of a 4 year relationship and i went through what u are now going through, my word of advice is get out while u still can never put up with it it gets worse and sooner or l8tr they bring the fantasy to reallity, from experience if they are given the chance to bring it to reality they will!!!!! trust me plese get out and report them they need help and i have learned normal men dont do it and dont need to and if they do they generally look at adult porn,
fudge Posted June 15, 2003 Posted June 15, 2003 Sweet julia... STOP BEING THE VICTIM! This sicko bastard kiddi porn addict... He lied to you and betrayed you and now he's gone... BE HAPPY!!! i can't believe that this Arsehole would post a profile on a dating chat thingo when he already has a girlfriend. THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED! YOU! YOU SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM, AND, NOW THAT YOU ARE YOU SAY THAT YOU WANT TO BE BACK TOGETHER! NOO! YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Just let him live in his smutty little office alone with his child friends and his pants around his ankles. A deceitful sicko such as this doesn't deserve you or anyone else. he deserves to be alone. You've been beating yourself up over him and his dirty liking to child porn - then you break up with him and your beating yourself up because you broke up with him; the dirty man who loves child porn... Here's what i have to say: This should not be a time of beating one's self up because they left a stupid dick... This should be a time in which one celebrates the riddance of a stupid dick. Go out, party with some friends, buy some shoes, start a campaign to ban child porn... Anything but be sad for leaving this freaky dude... you have done the right thing. So to revise... >>> f*** him, f*** his child porn, and move on. I know from experience that 'moving on' isn't easy but it is what has to be done. -fudge btw, this message is in no particular order, i just wrote them down as i thought of them...
Wiggin Posted June 15, 2003 Posted June 15, 2003 You gals that have been posting on this topic of underage porn - please listen to what everyone else has been saying. Realize that on most of the posts on this board, there are conflicting opinions and differing views - but this thread is all for breaking up with the guy. I'm a guy. I like porn from time to time. But it is a "pressure release valve." Many times, it's a temporary fix for physical needs that aren't being met. At the same time, it can sometimes be a distraction from being with your bf/gf. A replacement. Not to say that couples can't enjoy it, or self-pleasure when their partner's "not in the mood," I'm just saying that it's a shift of focus and can cause the partner to be jealous or feel less about themselves. This is definately happening with the women I'm hearing here. And it hurts to read these posts, for two reasons: 1) It hurts that kiddie porn exists in the first place, and sick that people actually get off on it. 2) It hurts that the three women I've seen post on this seem to be fair, sensitive, compassionate people who want to be there for their partner... and what's more, they're being taken for granted and even being made to feel guilty about their compassion. Plus, I'd like to also interject that if either of you truly and honestly trusted your partner, you wouldn't have snooped. This is nothing to be ashamed or feel guilty of - unfortunately, in both cases, it was proven that the man is a lying pig - but it shows that the communication and trust has broken down already. You can't change someone. Trust me, I've learned that painfully. You can only give assistance to someone that wants to help themselves. It has to be a desire within them, not you. Best of luck, ladies. Get away from the destructive influences in your life and find someone who will cherish your nuturing desires.
Gray Posted June 20, 2003 Posted June 20, 2003 to fudge : Hey buddy, I agree with you that this guy is sick and needs some serious help... but you do realize that she's in love with him. It isn't a switch she can just turn off and startover. It would make it a lot easier on her I'm sure, but yelling and cursing around her isn't going to make her realize it, she's going to have to struggle a bit. But like I said I agree with you that hopefully she can seperate herself from him, maybe finding him some help in addition.
Zoobie Posted July 2, 2003 Posted July 2, 2003 I don't know about your boyfriend's taste in children, but have you tried 'role playing' a much younger version of yourself? Maybe pigtails or a ponytail and whatever short skirts and lightweight blouses teenagers are wearing right now? If you love him, you will try to like what he likes....up to a point. If the role playing doesn't work, try something else....like getting a boyfriend who isn't so much younger than you are. This guy sounds really immature anyway, judging by his taste in sexual turn-ons. Just a suggestion, but role playing just might solve your problem.
wideawake Posted July 3, 2003 Posted July 3, 2003 Originally posted by Zoobie I don't know about your boyfriend's taste in children, but have you tried 'role playing' a much younger version of yourself? Maybe pigtails or a ponytail and whatever short skirts and lightweight blouses teenagers are wearing right now? If you love him, you will try to like what he likes....up to a point. If the role playing doesn't work, try something else....like getting a boyfriend who isn't so much younger than you are. This guy sounds really immature anyway, judging by his taste in sexual turn-ons. Just a suggestion, but role playing just might solve your problem. Ummmmmm......NO! Wow...GOOD FOR YOU FOR GETTING AWAY FROM SCUM LIKE THIS! Never look back! Be strong and know that this person is NOT good for you! Now go find yourself a nice guy that isn't some sicko!
SweetJulia Posted July 24, 2003 Posted July 24, 2003 I had not seen him for a while. He phoned me and we saw each other again. Last night I was at his place and saw the names of the last documents he had opened thru the Documents menu. I don't know why I clicked there on his computer, I figured nothing would be there since it's too easily noticeable. THe last files were things like; 11 yo 12 yo.... preteen... 14 yo... I was in shock that they would be that young, but considering all that's happened, it didn't surprise me. I don't know why I keep seeing him. All it brings me is hardship and pain. I always think he's not doing it anymore. When I confronted him, he looked at the file names and said what's that, that's disgusting! Then he said that whe download stuff, it comes in bunches, that he doesn't really look at the file names, and even so, he says the ones who posts those put all sorts of keywords. I know he is trying to make it like there's nothing there. He says he looks at teens because that's when women are at their peak. He says he thinks of teens only when he looks for porn. When we go out, I can't help to check if he's looking at teens. It makes me feel so low. I want to run away. Gray, you are right when you say it's difficult. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm an intelligent woman, I have a great job, I'm good looking. I don't know why I can't get him out of my life. Everybody's been really nice to me on this site. Thank you. I'm at a dead end.
Wiggin Posted July 25, 2003 Posted July 25, 2003 He's obviously lying, because he says that "That's Disgusting!" and then proceeds to tell you that teenage years are where women are in their prime! (By the way, that's BS, if I've ever heard it. Women peak all the time, at any age.) You truly are at a dead end, girl. LEAVE HIM. NOW. wiggs
Chris Posted July 27, 2003 Posted July 27, 2003 I have to agree with Zoobie! There is nothing wrong with role playing. Dont even try to say that wanting your gf/wife to dress up like a school girl is wrong or a sign of a sick person! Thats just fun.....and part of a healthy sex life. Role playing and looking at kiddie porn are two different things.
Chris Posted July 27, 2003 Posted July 27, 2003 Now I have a complex. I am going to have to post a new subject asking if I am sick because I had sex with a woman who dressed up as a school girl. ha ha.
MarieW Posted July 29, 2003 Posted July 29, 2003 I can only offer the same advice as most other people. Leave him, the guy isn't normal, he's a pervert. If he was looking at porn involving older women then it would be at least acceptable to a degree - but children??? I mean this kindly Julia but please...get a life! How can you still love a guy who is sick in such a way? He isn't an alcoholic or a drug addict...things you can sympathise and help with, the man is a pervert. I don't have the knowledge to say whether he would act out his fantasies on real children, but if I knew him I wouldn't take a child anywhere near him!!! You feel insecure about yourself now, but that's ridiculous. These poor children he looks at are abused. You should feel sorry for them, not feel bad about your age or attractiveness. He isn't looking at them because he thinks you're old or ugly. He is looking at these images because he is ill. It's no bad reflection on you. Anmd don't feel guilty for looking into his computer, hell I would do the same if I suspected my bf of being a pervert. If I were you I would dump him, get away from this life you have together and ring the police, because he is helping to make the world an even more dangerous place for innocent kids.
MarieW Posted July 29, 2003 Posted July 29, 2003 And to add, I have to say I don't agree with Zoobie at all. If you role played for this sicko then you would be indulging his fantasy and encouraging him, and anyway why give him any pleasure? The man is evil.
Chris Posted July 29, 2003 Posted July 29, 2003 I can tell MarieW is real exciting in bed......let me guess, strickly Missionary position for you huh?
MarieW Posted July 30, 2003 Posted July 30, 2003 Actually Chris, I'm so exciting in bed you wouldn't know what to do with me sweetie. To clarify, I think role play is GRRREAT .....with a normal guy but not with some sicko who likes little girls. All my point was was why encourage him? I'm off now to put on my little french maid uniform 'cause my boyfriend will be here soon!!!!
benjamin Posted August 10, 2003 Posted August 10, 2003 Julia. You sound like a lovely lady, and i absolutely understand your situation, at this point, i should add, Internet porn, including underage porn is NOT uncommon among males, and although it sounds deceptive, if he was to talk to you about it and ask for help, yet still do it behind your back, its not as bad as just blatantly saying "im going to keep doing it". The reason i say this is because as wrong as it is, its a weakness, lust is very powerful but yet he is showing no intent on even trying to stop it. It is actually quite sick and an outsider would call him a dirty peodophile. Julia reading what you have had to say displays you really care about him, but it also shows a real insecurity, because your not doing what that 38 year old mind is telling you you need to do to clear a void in your life. I havent read the entire 4 pages and dont know if you are currently together or broken up, however i want to say with the utmost sincerity, you can do alot better than this guy, and i wouldnt even make contact with him. Personally i rely on my best friend Jesus and his never ending love to get me through, which is what has bought me through these tough obstacles of my own, but this is public domain and im not here to preach, all i want to say is i know its possible to get over somebody no matter how much a part of your life they may seem, look at your life when you were 18, how much different is it today ?...Just think, endure what you KNOW is best for you, and wait another couple years and look back, and have higher demands. Just remember love is about the other person, love is about giving, not take take take take take. Also remember, although not everyone can be lusted after, everyone can find true love. Best of luck Ben
velvetgirl Posted October 11, 2003 Posted October 11, 2003 It's been six months since I last posted here and I can say it's been a very difficult time period in my life. I can now say I have learned a lot and I am a little more optimistic of the future. In April I came home one day and decided to confront my Bf. I had been monitoring his newsgroup selections and almost all of them were of young girls. I had had enough by this point and decided to prove what I saw, so I showed him. I did not shame him or blame him but I made it clear that this was destroying me, and my self esteem and I was not going to put up with it anymore. He would have to choose me, or the underage porn. We spent the whole night talking about this and he did admit to it finally and agreed this was a problem for him and us. He said he didn't know why he looked at it but was going to put a stop to it. I told him that he would have to go to therapy and I wanted to be supportive to help him and I would arrange the details so we could get on with our lives. He felt so bad that he was convinced that I was going to break up with him and couldn't figure out why I wasn't just ending the relationship. Like any addiction you have to be aware of it before you can start the process of recovery. Had he denied it or tried to put a spin on it I would have left him that very night. Since then he has not looked at any porn period unless we looked at it together. He and I have talked about it with a therapist and have been trying to keep communicating so I can build trust again. It's not easy and it will take time for me to heal. I have stopped looking for his reaction every time a young girl walks by us checking to see if he is looking at her. I have started to take classes, to nurture myself and I am spending more time taking care of me. My self-esteem has improved and I don't always feel stressed because I don't give it the power I use to. I still have my moments of mistrust and I think I may always but one day at a time. For now I believe until I am given reason not to. I believe it is possible to change once the problem has been admitted to.
novascade Posted October 11, 2003 Posted October 11, 2003 :mad: :mad: send that freak to jail, if he looks at them he might be doing that
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