what do i do?

[JenBurke]

My boyfriend John and I broke up about 3 years ago after 9 months of being together. Since then I have had one serious boyfriend and he's had a lot of girlfriends but two long term girlfriends. I think I should tell you he and I broke up because he was interested in another girl. He started dating this girl then realized his mistake. Once he did he started writing me telling me he wanted to be with me again. I was with my new boyfriend at the time Alex so I didn't even consider it. Alex and I broke up a year later and I've been single since. I have stayed friends John and was good friends with his girlfriend. But for years his friends have been telling me he's not over me and regrets breaking it off with me. His friends even say we're going to end up together. About 8 months ago he and I began talking again. It started out innocent but it grew into something deeper for the both of us. I could tell he was starting to fall for me again as I was to him. His girlfriend found out about our communicating and that ended our friendship. I feel guilty for what happened and what I did to my friend because I would never want to do that to anyone but I feel in my heart that he is the one for me. He clearly had feelings for me when were talking again and I think he would have come back to me had she not found out the way she did. He left recently for boot camp for the army and hasn't had any contact with me since. The day before he left when I saw him he gave me a big hug and told me he would miss me. He and his girlfriend fought all the time but he and I seemed so perfect when we were together. I feel in my heart that he and I are going to be together in the long run but I hate the fact that he is still with this girl. I don't know if it's because he's afraid to start a relationship with me because he will be in and out of my life for the next few years and he's afraid to risk anything or if he really doesn't want to be with me. I know a part of him is still in love with me and wants to be with me too but the timing is just so wrong. Is it worth it to wait when I feel this strongly? I'll wait for him as long as it takes but I don't know for sure if he feels the same way. Please give any help you can! I know he is the one for me but as of right now it seems I'm not the only one for him. Is it just that he's used to being in that relationship since they've been together almost 2 years or is he really not ready to be with me? What should I do?

[FireandIce]

Can I ask how old you are? You just sound fairly young and if that's the case then my advice to you is to let go of your feelings for him and try to move on. If he ends up leaving this girlfriend of his then maybe you two could try and see what happens but until then don't waste your time waiting around. From what you've said, this guy has a history of straying (I mean, you said he was in to a girl while you were together and that's why you broke up) so why do you think if the two of you got back together that it would be any different this time around?

 

I say live your life and don't worry so much about him. If the time comes when he's actually single then see how you feel. Until then just enjoy being single and maybe something better will come along.