ash119 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Okay so I have this really good friend. We were co-workers first, then we hooked up and then I didn't know what I wanted and he began to date someone else. During this period we became really good friends but the sexual tension was always present in our relationship. After he had been seeing his girlfriend for about 5 months she went out of town for a month and we got really drunk one night and slept together. I told him I thought it was a mistake because we had cheated (something I never thought I would ever do). After that I tried to distance myself from him because I felt so guilty. Recently he and his girlfriend broke up and we have been hanging out alot over the past month. He has told me that he loves me on several occasions. He has gotten insanely jealous anytime another guy flirts with me in front of him. He will hold my hand and touch me affectionately. But we have not done anything physically at all. We act as if we are best friends and he has even told me that he could see himself marrying me. I have been a little guarded because I have not wanted to rush him into anything...even though I do have feelings for him we are on the edge of the friend zone still. This past weekend he was very drunk and he kept asking me if he could hook up with my friend...it was fairly obvious that he was trying to get a reaction from me but it still definitely hurt me. When I tried to talk to him about it he said "you know we can't hook up again." and when i said "i know" (out of defense) he responded "but I love you soooo much". That night he stayed at my house but i made him sleep on the couch. When he woke up he did not remember any of it and acted as he always does...very sweet and affectionate. He even asked why he didn't sleep in my bed with me. And when I mentioned another guy he completely ignored it and changed the topic. I told him that he had been really out of line the night before but it was hard to even scold him for something that he didn't remember. I'm just insanely confused as to the way that he loves me. At times I wonder if he could even possibly love me in a "sisterly" way considering our relationship but then when he hits on my friends and says things like "we can't hook up again" I know that he was drunk when he did these things but i can't help but doubt him. What the heck is he doing?? I know i love him but this is really tearing me apart. I know I should talk to him about it but I'm a very cautious person. Please help me! Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 You answered your own question - talk to him. This is the best way to figure out what he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 I agree, talk to him, but before you do, clearly decide what you really want from him. What do you value in him most? Is it the friendship/closeness or do you want more? If more, what are you willing to accept, an FWB? Or do you want to have a romantic relationship with him? Keep in mind that you could lose your friendship with him, if he doesn't want more. Link to post Share on other sites
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