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I almost cheated. What do I do now?


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Sal Paradise
but 70% of my waking moments, I want to be with my boyfriend. every relationships go through a period of doubt, right? i don't want to ruin his life. i am just really confused now. i don't think there are enough problems for me to break up with him yet. we always have fun when we hang out with eachother.

 

I would call emotionally cheating a HUGE problem. What you did was cheating. And yes everyone goes through periods of doubts but most people don't hop in the first person's arms that smiles at them and says something sweet.

 

And 70% of the time isn't a lot. A good relationship would be 99.9% of the time. 70% means that you're having doubts all the time.

 

You're making excuses because you're too selfish to do whats right. You know deep down the right thing to do is to tell him the truth and break up with him. You won't do either because...

 

If you tell him the truth he will want to leave you and you won't break up with him because you want your cake and to eat it too. You're too selfish to do whats best for him. You only care about whats best for you. When you really love someone you care more about them than you do yourself. You would rather die than see them hurting. You don't feel that strongly about your boyfriend.

 

Your boyfriend isn't around for a few days and you almost screw one of his friends. Your feelings for him can't be that strong if something as small as him being away for the weekend and you having doubts can send you after one of his friends.

 

You need to tell him what happened. He has a right to know what kind of girl you are. And he has a right to know that his friend is a piece of garbage. Also remember 99% of the time when someone messes around with one of their SO friends it always comes out eventually. He will tell someone and they will tell your bf. Your bf is going to notice if you act different around his friend. He will FIND OUT so its best if he heard from you and not someone else.

 

You have to tell him. Stop being selfish and immature for one minute and at least do that much.

 

 

How do I delete threads? I'm starting to hate myself reading what I write. :sick:

 

I don't think you can. And what you write should make you sick but what you did and are doing to your bf should make you even sicker.

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Trialbyfire
How do I delete threads? I'm starting to hate myself reading what I write. :sick:

I agree with Sal. Read this thread over and over and over again. Live it, learn it, breath it. Is this the person you really want to be?

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Im going to weigh in with Sal and TBF on this one Dater. I dont think you have a clear understanding of what love actually is. Its sad but you will until you actually understand love then you will never experience it. You will be like one of those retards in Hollywood drifting from one relationship high to another, never having anything stable, until you have to just settle for the last thing that falls into your lap or end you life a lonely shriveled husk.

 

BTW, If I was your BF I would dump you so fast your head would spin. Here is why, the reason you want him to be your Best Friend and not your boyfriend is because he is too nice. Why do girls want a guy that will kick them around and break thier heart I dont know... I just play the game.

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Your boyfriend isn't around for a few days and you almost screw one of his friends. Your feelings for him can't be that strong if something as small as him being away for the weekend and you having doubts can send you after one of his friends.

 

You need to tell him what happened. He has a right to know what kind of girl you are. And he has a right to know that his friend is a piece of garbage. Also remember 99% of the time when someone messes around with one of their SO friends it always comes out eventually. He will tell someone and they will tell your bf. Your bf is going to notice if you act different around his friend. He will FIND OUT so its best if he heard from you and not someone else.

 

I didn't almost screw one of his friends!!!!!!!!! I didn't even tell him I like him. All I did was complain about my boyfriend, sleep on the floor next to him (without touching) and hug him when he started crying. I wouldn't SCREW this guy unless I was dating him. I'm not dating him. I am dating my boyfriend.

 

I don't have to tell him what happened because nothing happened. Do I need to tell him I have feelings for his friend? No. That would hurt him. If I haven't touched his friend, I don't need to come clear of anything. Would you tell your gf every time a movie star gives you a boner? No.

 

Okay, and his friend isn't a piece of ****. Not in the least. His friend did NOT put the moves on me. He stayed away. Actually, what he did do was cry. So if anything, I think his friend is a better person than I am.

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I agree with Sal. Read this thread over and over and over again. Live it, learn it, breath it. Is this the person you really want to be?

 

 

All I want is a happy, loving, passionate relationship. I can see that in my threads. I'm trying to figure out if I have one or if someone else can give me one. That's all.

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Im going to weigh in with Sal and TBF on this one Dater. I dont think you have a clear understanding of what love actually is. Its sad but you will until you actually understand love then you will never experience it. You will be like one of those retards in Hollywood drifting from one relationship high to another, never having anything stable, until you have to just settle for the last thing that falls into your lap or end you life a lonely shriveled husk.

 

 

How do I know what love is? Maybe I have it and just don't recognize it because it's too good? My boyfriend and I talk on the phones at least three times a day. We don't go a night without talking to one another. He's in my face all the time and I love it, but at the same time it makes it hard to see clearly.

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Trialbyfire
All I want is a happy, loving, passionate relationship. I can see that in my threads. I'm trying to figure out if I have one or if someone else can give me one. That's all.

No one is saying otherwise. We all want love but many of us aren't willing to do it at the expense of others and at the expense of our personal morals.

 

Btw, the love you want isn't love at all. It's the honeymoon or infatuation stage which goes away pretty quickly. If you continue forever seeking this stage, you will bridge from person to person, always seeking a continuous adrenaline high. If this is what you want, do it with people with the understanding of non-exclusivity. You cannot hold someone else and then expect that you're free to do whatever you please.

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well maybe I do have a problem. maybe no one will be enough for me.

 

Yup...thats why you shouldn't commit to anyone. Go out, have dates, but don't ever saddle a guy down with the boyfriend title, cuz you'll be looking for the bigger better deal the following month.

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Okay, and his friend isn't a piece of ****. Not in the least. His friend did NOT put the moves on me. He stayed away. Actually, what he did do was cry. So if anything, I think his friend is a better person than I am.

 

Oh please...his friend is no friend at all. What the hell is he doing consoling you while you are badmouthing your boyfriend?

 

And what is this complaining about him anyway...you say you love him dearly and he is a wonderful guy, but get you in front of a friend of his that you would like to have for yourself, and you change your tune.

 

Face it, you are fickle, and you aren't satisfied with a good thing when you have it.

 

Just break up with your boyfriend already geez. Spare the poor guy the pain of wasting too much time with someone so fickle that will end up f#cking him over later anyway.

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How do I know what love is? Maybe I have it and just don't recognize it because it's too good? My boyfriend and I talk on the phones at least three times a day. We don't go a night without talking to one another. He's in my face all the time and I love it, but at the same time it makes it hard to see clearly.

 

 

Its funny that in English we have like 10 words for love and 3000 terms for sex. So I cant tell you for 100% what love is, because it is slightly different for everyone.

 

But understand that love is a choice. Meaning that you Choose to love your boyfriend. Love is not some emotional high that ebbs and flows, its not just a chemical reaction somewhere in the back of your brain. You dont just "fall in love".

 

Love is when you wake up every single day and choose your boyfriend over every other guy out there. Even though there are men who are a better fit for you, and there will always be another guy who is just a little bit better. When you choose to love him as is, accepting his flaws, and knowing that he will change as time marches on.

 

Your choice... your love and passion is the greatest gift you can give him. I can't tell you if he is someone that is worthy of that choice that is up to you. What I can say is that right now you are failing to make that choice, so you dont have love. That is probably why you are getting negative comments in regards to your story. Your BF is percieved to be making that choice to love you, and even trust you (leaving you with male friends), however you are definitely not reciprocating.

 

Also, You may be confusing attention with love. Just because your boyfriend pays alot of attention to you does not mean he loves you. He could call you 100 times a day and still not love you. Please dont just fall for any guy that pays attention to you. So many other girls do that.

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whichwayisup
I can't have what I really want. I want my boyfriend to be my best friend and this guy to be my boyfriend.

 

I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but from what you've said here, I am telling ya, break up with your boyfriend because you're NOT inlove with him. If you truely were, you wouldn't be wanting someone else to be your boyfriend.

 

Your boyfriend deserves to have a girlfriend who loves him and ONLY him.

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You do not love your boyfriend. Do not insult our intelligence and claim you do.

 

My advice is break up with your bf before you end up cheating on him with his friend.

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  • 1 month later...
All I want is a happy, loving, passionate relationship. I can see that in my threads. I'm trying to figure out if I have one or if someone else can give me one. That's all.

 

Hello? Hello?

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How do I know what love is? Maybe I have it and just don't recognize it because it's too good? My boyfriend and I talk on the phones at least three times a day. We don't go a night without talking to one another. He's in my face all the time and I love it, but at the same time it makes it hard to see clearly.

 

Hey I wanted to send you a PM to ask you a question... Where is the PM option in this forum or it doesnt have oNE??

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Hey I wanted to send you a PM to ask you a question... Where is the PM option in this forum or it doesnt have oNE??

 

You have to be on this forum a while before you can use the PM function. Since you are a new member, I would think that most anything you would want to say could be said in the open forum.

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Flyin in Clouds
I can't have what I really want. I want my boyfriend to be my best friend and this guy to be my boyfriend.
Well tell your bf that, maybe he'll go for it...
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