Savannah1 Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 I found out I was the OOW (he was divorcing when I met him). When I found out all he** broke loose, I said things to him that I never dreamed in a million years I'd be saying and Yes I even called his OW. He called me after OW called him and told him I had called (I was civil, just wanted to ask her to please go get tested for STD's) I went to my Gyno immediately when I found out..and I'm clean except for a Yeast Infection which I guess is very very common. He called me to tell me to NOT call him anymore. He was sick in the head, that he didn't want ANYONE in his life, NO ONE...he wanted to get lost for a while and find himself... I had told him that he'd need time for himself after his divorce, it was a long term marriage and men mourn the loss even if they were the ones who divorced their wives. I didn't know he had a OW for 6 years and he had me for 4 years... OW didn't know about me. I haven't called him, I haven't laid eyes on him, some say they very rarely if ever see him, he stays away from everyone. I was wondering today, if after a year of being alone, would the divorced man want to go back to his OW or OOW....or if he will go find a new woman (who he will probably cheat on too) At this time I'm afraid if I saw him that I would physically attack him and I'm a non-violent person. But I go to bed and he's the last thing on my mind, I'll wake up 4-5 times a night with him on my mind and he's on my mind when I wake up. (The rubber band around the wrist hasn't helped, nor has Therapy) it's almost like I can 'feel' him wanting me. One of the last things he said to me was 'oh God, I just lost the best thing that ever happened in my life', I seriously thought he was going to throw up. Would you start a 'new' relationship with a person like him? Savannah1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lynna Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 You should post on the Other Man/Other Woman forum as they would have more insight into your situation. No, I would not start a "new" relationship with someone like him. He needs serious counseling and it will take a LONG time before he can fix himself and his problems. He needs to do it on his own as he is not capable of being in a healthy relationship. Fortunately he seems to realize all of that. You need to move on with your life. You cannot possibly know if you love him or not because you have NEVER seen the real him. Even HE does not know what the real him is like. Continue your therapy and figure out why you were even willing to be an OW in the first place. Start dating and learn what it is like to be in a normal, healthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Exactly what lynna said. The man needs to fix himself, and you need to take care of yourself. Take this as a very unhappy experience, one to learn from and not to repeat. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
East of Jupiter Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 "Would you start a 'new' relationship with a person like him?" No. No way. On way in hell. I'm a little surprised that you would consider it. Link to post Share on other sites
FireandIce Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 Nope, I wouldn't. You may think things would be different if he was divorced and you two could finally be together but just look at his history. He had a wife, an OW and then you.......the OOW. He needs help and you need someone who can love you and only you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts