My fiance cheated on me.

[zilverenvlinder]

I CAN'T be with him anymore. I can't. It makes me sick.

 

And I know that when I tell him it's over, which I am, all I'm going to want him to do is call me and tell me how sorry he is and how wonderful I am. But I don't know if that will happen. I guess this last week I've just been trying to hold onto something that is not there.

 

I just had all these great plans for us, down the drain. I really wanted to marry him. I really wanted to. And I hope that someday I will find a guy that won't do this to me. I know that by staying with him I'll just be settling for something.

 

I am going to do this tonight, and I'm going to have to do it in person. If anyone could give me any advice as to what to say, please respond. I want to be the "one that got away". I really do.

[zilverenvlinder]

BTW, squeak, I really appreciate you thinking about me. I really do.

[Lostgurl]

I CAN'T be with him anymore. I can't. It makes me sick.

 

And I know that when I tell him it's over, which I am, all I'm going to want him to do is call me and tell me how sorry he is and how wonderful I am. But I don't know if that will happen. I guess this last week I've just been trying to hold onto something that is not there.

 

I just had all these great plans for us, down the drain. I really wanted to marry him. I really wanted to. And I hope that someday I will find a guy that won't do this to me. I know that by staying with him I'll just be settling for something.

 

I am going to do this tonight, and I'm going to have to do it in person. If anyone could give me any advice as to what to say, please respond. I want to be the "one that got away". I really do.

 

Z, I'm sooo sorry that you are hurting. But you made the right choice, there is no doubt about that. It's so hard to let someone you love go, especially when you've given yourself and put so much time and energy into the relationship.

 

You'll meet someone that deserves you and your efforts. Someone who doesn't treat you like nothing, like he did.

 

Goodluck Z, I'm proud of you. Keep posting, and venting, we will help get you through this.

[Lizzie60]

I honestly don't think you'll do it... or if you do it tonite.. next week... you'll be back with him...

 

from what I read, you are not strong enough to keep your word... you need to grow up a lot... because, trust me, you'll be hurt over and over...

[stillafool]

I don't know that it's a good idea to tell him in person. He has too much power over you. I would call him and talk to him in a calm manner and tell him that after the things you have uncovered about him your trust is gone. Tell him you can't be in a relationship with someone you don't trust. Don't argue with him about anything because you have the evidence and you know the truth. Stay calm. Tell him not to contact you again and tell him you really do wish the best for him in the future.

 

I know it will hurt but we'll be here for you. Take some time to grieve and then pick yourself up and start something new.

 

How old is he? How old are you?

[squeak]

Wow I am so proud of you, I know how it feels to want the one who put all that pain in you to be the one to take it away.

 

Maybe someone else can give good script, but I'll give you good incentive.

 

Here is a secret...if you want to be remembered forever in a man's heart..you have to be the one to leave him.

 

You will go down in history in his memory, and the next girlfriend will take the toll for it, women just "know" when he can't get over his ex.

 

The only ex a man can't get over is the one who left him, or worse-left him for another man.

 

(choice "B" to be remembered forever in a man's heart is never reciprocate his romantic feelings in a "friends" situation.

 

choice "c" is the most morbid and involves dying a sudden accidental death in the honeymoon period of the relationship--I don't advise that one ever.

 

This is all observation, but God does it drive men mad. The whole "can't get what you want syndrome. It makes them think more highly of you if you don't want them...go figure.)

[squeak]

I don't know that it's a good idea to tell him in person. He has too much power over you. I would call him and talk to him in a calm manner and tell him that after the things you have uncovered about him your trust is gone.

 

I agree with this, doing it in person is overrated and you have less control.

Do it with The phone.

[ruby_gloom]

ah, Z! i am so happy to read this! really. i know how hard it is to let go of someone after having been with them for years. i know it's hard to realize that all of your future plans together have been thwarted. and i also know what it feels like to think that you might not ever find anyone else.

 

all of these invasive thoughts are very hard to overcome, but you have to reassure yourself that it's all but a psychological trauma that you (and his abominable actions) have instilled in yourself and, most importantly, that is it not true.

 

read a4a's post again. it's much more lighthearted than the rest of the posts on this thread, but look at how oh so true it really is.

 

anyway, i am way happy for you, Z!

 

if i were you, i would have to tell him to his cheating face that yes, it's over. i wouldn't be able to do it otherwise.

 

i suggest that you meet with him and tell him the truth. i would tell him that even despite his wounding words and actions, i still tried to close my eyes and hope for the best, but that i realized that with him there is no "best"--there isn't even any good.

 

use this last time as your catharsis; let him know you are sickened by what he has done, but emphasize that you never want to see his cheating face ever again.

 

out there is a cartman fan who will love you the way you deserve; the right way.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

And I know that when I tell him it's over, which I am, all I'm going to want him to do is call me and tell me how sorry he is and how wonderful I am.

 

The fact that you admit this is actually a good thing! "Hold me and tell me lies" Got the t'shirt! You'll find your way eventually though. The question is, how much will it take! Walk now. There are some really good guys out there. Check out the obituaries. KIDDING, sick humor, but don't think it has never been suggested!

[cbauche0]

MYSPACE RUINS LIVES!

 

Thats how I found out... that and the phone bills, I know how ****ty it feels....

I as well have been on the alcohol, ciggarette and coffee diet, and have not slept for 5 days!

 

I have dropped 8lbs... thats about the only good thing that has come of me finding out my fiance cheated on me... I just found out last weekend.

[bish]

Dano's message is dumb and ignore it....

 

I know you may not have liked his message ash, but it is basically true...not for all women, but for a majority out there. I have seen it over and over.

 

and his message should not be ignored. Even if it was on the insensitive side, it just might be what she needs to cut this jerk of a fiance loose and find a decent man.

[bish]

I could have told you that no matter what...you'll take him back...

 

He's too strong for you... he will make you believe anything he wants..

 

I feel sad for you.. 'pity' in a better word.

 

How dare you say you pity this poor woman! Here you are, the kind of woman that sleeps with married men out of choice, and you are condescending towards her?

 

Does anyone else not see this crap? This woman thrives on being with married and taken men...she even bragged in another post about an experiement to try to get a taken man to sleep with her...and she is "pitying" this woman who is going through a rough time??

 

I don't think she needs someone like you to pity her Lizzie.