rvj1979 Posted August 1, 2007 Share Posted August 1, 2007 Long story but I will try and keep it short! Me and the man I love have not talked for a year and half. We have had our ups and down for the past few years. We talked unexpectedly this past saturday. A very emotional conversation to say the least- it went on for over 4 hours. A lot of the hurt and emotion from the past was discussed and we moved on. Anyways- He told me first that he was still in love with me and I'm obviously still in love with him. After we got past that he asked me to marry him. I should say that he said what we were going to do is get married next year. I said yes. A big side note is that I have one daughter and then a niece and nephew that are with me. He knows all about them and says he can accept all of them because they are part of my family. What I'm afraid of is that he got caught up in the moment and asked. We talked the next day and I asked him if he was serious about everything we discussed and he said yes. But he had to head back to Korea for 5 more months and we will not be able to actually see each other until December. I have known him for along time and he doesn't typically make rash decisions. My brother also told me that I'm not worth millions and so why would he propose if he didn't mean it. There is nothing in it for him except 3 kids and then of course me. Sorry this is longer then attended. What do you all think? Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted August 1, 2007 Share Posted August 1, 2007 Do men propose whan they don't really mean it? I never have. I think you should wait until he returns, date for awhile and then decide. Link to post Share on other sites
daveman988 Posted August 1, 2007 Share Posted August 1, 2007 I am of the opinion that any couple that is considering such a serious commitment, should at least know that the other person really means it. I agree with Curmudgeon that you should 'wait and date' when he is back, and then you'll be able to MAKE sure he means it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 1, 2007 Share Posted August 1, 2007 All this transpired in 4 hours? Keep the door open, and keep intouch with him while he's away, then when he's back, talk about marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 1, 2007 Share Posted August 1, 2007 I agree with the rest of the posters about a wait and see attitude, with contact. In the heat of the moment, some men do propose and some women accept. At least you have time to clear your head and really think about whether or not he's right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rvj1979 Posted August 2, 2007 Author Share Posted August 2, 2007 Thanks for replying back. We have known each other for 10 years and have neither off us has moved on. He's dated and I've dated but nothing came of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rvj1979 Posted August 2, 2007 Author Share Posted August 2, 2007 Oops I wasn't done! You would think after all this time that would both should know what we want. I think what scared him, so to speak, into taking action is that the man I was recently seeing also asked me to marry him. I think that put the man that I do love into action. Link to post Share on other sites
GALT Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 It probably did. I bet it was a stop gap measure to hold onto you for the five months he is gone. Don;t marry either one yet. Re-evaluate when he gets back. Men also do stupid things in the heat of the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rvj1979 Posted August 2, 2007 Author Share Posted August 2, 2007 That is a good point. I think I've been trying not to think of that though. This is the person I want to marry and so it sucks. During our conversation I didn't make any of the first I love yous- I hate to think of him as using these tactics to stall me and my happiness. But I'm sure its not the first time a male or female has used these to get what they wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
VIP Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Yes, they do propose when they don't mean it. To see your reaction and to secure their position. But again, you never know, may be he has been thinking about it for a while, who knows. Don't make a mistake and marry someone you don't love. Link to post Share on other sites
pankaj bafna Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 Long story but I will try and keep it short! Me and the man I love have not talked for a year and half. We have had our ups and down for the past few years. We talked unexpectedly this past saturday. A very emotional conversation to say the least- it went on for over 4 hours. A lot of the hurt and emotion from the past was discussed and we moved on. Anyways- He told me first that he was still in love with me and I'm obviously still in love with him. After we got past that he asked me to marry him. I should say that he said what we were going to do is get married next year. I said yes. A big side note is that I have one daughter and then a niece and nephew that are with me. He knows all about them and says he can accept all of them because they are part of my family. What I'm afraid of is that he got caught up in the moment and asked. We talked the next day and I asked him if he was serious about everything we discussed and he said yes. But he had to head back to Korea for 5 more months and we will not be able to actually see each other until December. I have known him for along time and he doesn't typically make rash decisions. My brother also told me that I'm not worth millions and so why would he propose if he didn't mean it. There is nothing in it for him except 3 kids and then of course me. Sorry this is longer then attended. What do you all think?,,,,,i think he should not see the past,,,if he loves you very much,,,,and u love him very much,,,,,,,then any one can say,,,,do not feel gilty in saying,,,,,,,because every one realise when they r away from love,,,,because love is life,,,,....../////??/?/? Link to post Share on other sites
PoshPrincess Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 Long story but I will try and keep it short! Me and the man I love have not talked for a year and half. We have had our ups and down for the past few years. We talked unexpectedly this past saturday. A very emotional conversation to say the least- it went on for over 4 hours. A lot of the hurt and emotion from the past was discussed and we moved on. Anyways- He told me first that he was still in love with me and I'm obviously still in love with him. After we got past that he asked me to marry him. I should say that he said what we were going to do is get married next year. I said yes. A big side note is that I have one daughter and then a niece and nephew that are with me. He knows all about them and says he can accept all of them because they are part of my family. What I'm afraid of is that he got caught up in the moment and asked. We talked the next day and I asked him if he was serious about everything we discussed and he said yes. But he had to head back to Korea for 5 more months and we will not be able to actually see each other until December. I have known him for along time and he doesn't typically make rash decisions. My brother also told me that I'm not worth millions and so why would he propose if he didn't mean it. There is nothing in it for him except 3 kids and then of course me. Sorry this is longer then attended. What do you all think? Do men propose when they don't mean it? Well, I have to say that I have experience of this first hand.....I was proposed to in my early 20s by my boyfriend 7 years older (so not a kid) who I'd been seeing only for a few months. It had been a whirlwind romance but we'd already started to argue a lot. New Years Eve we had a row, made up, and at midnight he proposed to me, down on one knee in a crowded pub, champagne, etc. He even borrowed a ring from a friend 'until he managed to buy me one'! I asked him several times if he meant it, even the next day I told him I understood if he didn't as we'd both had a few drinks and that I was more than happy to carry on as before. Long long story but the long and the short of it was that he never really mentioned it again. I am not saying he didn't mean it at the time, but these things happen in the heat of the moment. We split up less than two months later. I still don't understand all these years later why he couldn't have just been honest with me. As far as your man is concerned, he may well have met it, but you are possibly having doubts for a reason. You have picked up some vibes from him. I agree with the others. Give him some time while he's away (absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that) and leave discussing it again till his return! Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Yes. I only recently found out that my husband proposed to me without thinking it through - only because he thought I was going to leave him. We've been married a few years now - so you can imagine - that hurts. I have kids too & they've come to love him - so the pain of a possible divorce is multiplied by little hearts too. Please be ABSOLUTELY sure before you commit to anything or anyone. If you are going to be together - a year or so of insurance time won't change that. Link to post Share on other sites
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