My looks amoung other things...

[Beatnik]

OK I understand there isn't much you guys can do for me without a photo, but here I go anyway.

 

I have always felt that I was fairly attractive, but sometimes I think I may have a diluted self-image. My sister is always telling me that I'm ugly and that I have no friends which is quite the contrary. I have had girlfriends in the past that were very attractive, but now I am usually single.

 

Might I really be ugly and not know it, or am I just too apprehensive around girls?

 

Also, I'm 16 but I've kind of grown up on movies and TV so I have always felt that you have to build up to exclusive relationship with dates and stuff of the sort. Yet people around me seem to just ask to go out and then like that they are girlfriend/boyfriend. Whats the best way to go about starting a relationship with a girl concerning my age, just ask to go steady, or attempt to build it up through dates?

[Tony T]

Many sisters tell their brothers they're ugly. That's a brother-sister thing which is irrelevant. If your sister told you that you were a giraffe, would that make you a giraffe???

 

Your self image is important. The ugliest guy in the world can exude incredible confidence and get beautiful women who are attracted to confidence rather than looks. The most attractive guy in the universe can repulse some ladies with his personality, snobbish attitude, stupidity or whatever.

 

If a lady is looking for a guy who is kind and intelligent, a good looking mean and stupid guy is NOT going to do it for them. Your question cannot be answered with any specificity simply because there are no rules here.

 

I've known women who would never, ever go out with any but the most handsome, gorgeous model type guys only to end up marrying a very homely man who was nice.

 

Many girls your age are looking for the nice looking guy but an aweful lot will be attracted to you for who you are. But most women do not care for guys who don't think a lot of themselves. You can't get love until you love yourself first. After all, why should some other person consider you worthy of their love if you don't even consider yourself worthy of your own???

 

And yes, you may be ugly as hell but, again, that is totally irrelevant. If you have good hygeine, fresh breath, etc. and dress attractively, there is no doubt you can find the perfect girl for you...or a number of them. There are only so many GQ models to go around. The rest of the women have to go for guys just like you. And the others will go for you too when they get tired of their GQ cuties.

[quankanne]

[color=darkblue]My sister is always telling me that I'm ugly and that I have no friends which is quite the contrary[/color]

 

I think you're cute, and I'm sure your friends feel you're not too hard on the eyes, either. However, for the time being, you sister will never admit that she thinks you're nice looking or handsome or cute (or smart or funny or a great athlete) simply because she's your sister and you're her brother. It's called sibling rivalry. Once one of you leaves home (to get married, to work, to go to college), her perspective will change and she won't mind letting on that she actually thinks you're okay. Anyone with siblings can testify to that.

 

as for finding an exclusive partner, what's the rush? At your age, you should be having fun socializing with others, doing things as a group, not trying to find your life mate. There's plenty of time for that, and trust me, you don't want to get "locked" into a relationship that has no room to grow because you've told yourselves that what you feel for each other now is what you'll feel for each other 20 years from now. I've known too many people (girls especially) who feel they must be married right out of high school or their lives just won't be worth living, then end up divorced (with or without kids) several years later, and just can't understand why their relationship couldn't survive when it encountered changes like a career move, a new baby, etc. You've got all the time in the world to find a girl to settle down with. In the meantime, enjoy what you've got right now.

[Beatnik]

OK I have a few things to state:

 

1st: Thanks for the cute comment, but thats not a picture of me, lol. Its actually a character from a movie I like. I need to borrow my mom's digital camera and take a pic of myself.

 

2nd: I know you guys believe that I am too young for a exclusive relationship, but thats just how I am. Also I'm not looking to get married just yet, I see so many 17, 18, 19 year old couples getting married, and I can just see where its going to lead, and I must say it kind of pains me. I feel I know what real love is, not because I have experienced it myself because I haven't, but because I know people who really do love each other.

 

Also I'm not on a constant search for my soul mate. I socialize with people all the time and when I come across a person whom I connect with, I like to start something and just see where it takes us. If it works out thats great but if it doesn't, you know thats life you move on. I would also like to comment that I retain what I feel are healthy relationships with my ex's, in fact my two best female friends are ex-girlfriends. Even if it doesn't work out romantically it doesn't hurt my friendly relationship with them, I'm not the type to hold a grudge.

 

I guess recently I've been basing my views on love alot like my older brother. Hes 10 years older than me, hes been going out with his present girlfriend for two years now, they don't live with each other because they want to take it slow, but you can tell just by looking at them that their made for each other, its undeniable. So thats how I am, I want to take its slow let it grow, unlike how I used to be, going out with a girl and saying I love you before I even knew the true meaning of the word.

 

Also I guess I felt my sister was telling the truth somewhat, because she is really about the only person who has ever commented on my looks, and since it was a negative comment I think you can understand where my mentality on the given situation was.

[Amazon22]

I'd First like to comment that Jason Lee (your avatar) rocks!

 

Also, you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders, and you are a very good observer of others. Most 16 year old "men" don't even think with the head that is on their shoulders...or 25 year old men for that matter(getting off topic here), but you seem to have a pretty good idea of who you are and what you are looking for.

 

Like Tony said, most women would rather have brains over brawn!

 

Go get 'em Tiger!

[clia]

Until I was about 22 my brother constantly told me how ugly I was, that no one would ever want me, etc.

 

Now every time I see him he's like "Wow, you look hot!"

 

LOL.

 

Don't put any stock into what your sister says. I think it's just sibling rivalry kind of stuff. I think most people go through an awkward period at some point, where self esteem hits rock bottom, etc., and then you tend to either grow into your looks or accept who you are, and the self esteem boosts as a result. I don't think it's a bad thing to be single at 16, but I understand your wanting to be in a relationship. All things come with time...just ignore your sister in the meantime.

 

P.S. I think Banky is one of the best characters ever to grace the screen.

[Beatnik]

Thank you, I do pride myself as being mature for my age and I do enjoy to observe people because I wish to understand people, and myself. I am constantly looking to better myself and to help others. Also Banky is one of the best movie characters I have ever seen.