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Mixed Signals


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Hi I'm not entirely sure this goes in this forum so sorry if it shouldn't!

 

So I met a girl about 6/8 weeks ago at my place of work, and pretty much from the moment we met we hit it off (friends or something more i don't know..).

 

We've been getting along great and I've had people ask me about whether we're an item or whatever, so I don't think I'm imagining the signals she gives off (she casually touches me alot, tells me i make her laugh etc).

 

She's invited me out outside of work a couple of times.

 

One was a couple of weeks ago and mentioned I should come along with her and some of her friends to some bars in my town, I was ill at the time but said I might go and told her to give me a text about it later (i might have come off as being not very enthusiastic, lots of friends tell me i can seem to be). She didn't end up texting me by about 10pm or so, so i texted her to see if she was going out and she apologised several times (then and the day after) for not getting in touch with me.

 

So a couple of days later I think it was, and she invites me out again to some bars/clubs with some different friends of hers, this was about a week in advance so I just said 'yeah sure i'll probably come'. We were joking around and she said 'you better come cus i'm getting a taxi back with you.' I didn't mention it until a couple days before we were meant to be going and she was like 'I'm not sure if we're going now', her friends had apparently wanted to go on a different night or something, perfectly believable so I thought nothing of it.

 

So last week I decided to text her and she if she wanted to go see a movie. She said she couldn't this week (this week being last week) because she lives in the countryside and can only use a bus to get to places (she doesn't drive), and they were cancelled all week (due to flooding) but she said 'definitely next week'...I know what you're thinking, but this actually wasn't an excuse as I was with her when she found out a few days earlier.

 

So the next day (wednesday) she texts me when im at work and tells me that the buses are running again and that she can 'finally go out'. I took this as a good sign (and a hint) so asked her if she wanted to go see that film then, she said what day..i could only do friday as i had work thurs/saturday but she said she didnt think she could make friday, but she'd let me know.

 

I didn't contact her thursday or friday as i didn't want to seem too eager or anything, but got no word from her. I happened to be on msn on friday evening and she came online and said hi and talked to me a good bit and everything seemed good, and i saw her again at work on saturday and things felt a bit tense at times (this could have just been becaues of me though) but by the end of our shifts we were getting along as well as always, if not better..

 

I left the ball in her court the other night and let her know that i'd leave it up to her if she wants to do anything and to let me know. I thought this would solve my problem..if she wants to see me then its up to her when and where and she'll contact me or if she doesn't want to see me then she just doesn't need to do anything. She texted me the next day asking if we could go sometime next week and i replied (in a friendly way) saying i won't hold my breath. She's apologised and it seems sincere, and her reasons seem genuine enough but I know a woman whos interested ALWAYS finds time for a guy..at least that's what i've been told, and it makes sense.

 

I'm just really confused by this girl, I've never been so convinced of a girl being interested in me but I'm getting a lot of mixed signals. Am i pushing her away by trying to act 'hard to get' at times, does she need to see that i'm interested in her before she 'admits' to it? Or does she just want to be friends? If she wants to be friends though, I don't understand why she wouldn't want to go catch a movie or something. Argh I'm so confused.

 

Thanks for any advice you could give me and sorry for the stupidly long post.

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lost3v3rytim3

WOW I am confused too! Well it seems like she is having some feelings. But right now it’s just as friends. When she trying to fit in the movie thing it seems like she is brushing it off and thinking it is a date. Maybe if you play as a friend’s night out thing it might not freak her out. (Not saying you were making it like a date) She might be decided if she likes you or not. So let it slide and wait whenever she is ready to go out and have fun. Basically just wait and see what happens...;)

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Let her do all the initiating from now on. That way you're sure that she's into you. I went thru the same thing recently, a girl gave me phone number and was crazy about me but we could never manage to hook up. Her last message to me was that I better pick up my phone when she calls and I told her I will and she never called. That was a month ago. This girl of yours seems very undecided and doesn't know what she wants. My advice for you is to find someone else that will want to be with you.

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Thanks for your replies.

 

I think you're both right in that I should wait for the initiation from her.

 

I'd be fine with being just friends because she actually is a great laugh but she seems reluctant even for that (in not making definite plans).

 

Any females able to offer insight? Or is the female mind not even understood by other females? :confused:

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