Spoonandfork22 Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 :sick:i have a problem....my bf's ex lover person, my one time friend who is rumored 2 still want him, is turning 21 soon. shes much older than all of her friends (they have like, one or two years each before they are 21) so she "isnt going to have anyone to go the bar with". heres my problem: i feel like shes going to be all over my bf to go to the bar with her and hes such a nice guy i feel like hes going to be like, whats the big deal, she has no one else to go with. IM WORRIED!!! i dont want to be that girl but i think im going to have to be. i dont want him hanging out with her, he knows that. i dont care if she doesnt have bar friends, she doesnt need to be hanging out with my bf and OUR friends. its a small town, we only have 3 or so bars so i feel like shes bound to show up sooner or later.. how do i deal with this!??!?! i really dont want to think its going to be a problem but i know my bf, hes mr. nice guy, and hes going to say something like "you remember when you were 21, you gotta have ppl to go to the bar with". right. i dont know what to do...im going to be SO NERVOUS in the upcoming weeks......HELP!!! i know this might sound crazy....but im even thinking about maybe taking her to the bar myself. her and i used to be freinds...and it was messed up what happened in the past, but maybe that will take some of the edge off of everything, being able to go out and smooth things over? or is that just the wrong decision all together....... Link to post Share on other sites
squeak Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 I don't the history between you and this girl, but don't welcome her back into your circle out of "preventive maintenance". That is even worse than what you are trying to prevent. This is more an issue btwn you and your bf, and sometimes...oh this will be the hardest-you have to do hands off once you've stated your case and judge him for what he does or doesn't do. Can you go to the bar with him so in case she shows up looking to hang around him, then you can step in and not allow that? Whatever you do, don't become friends with her out of fear of trying to avoid her going with your BF. Somehow, those fear based decisions have a funny way of bringing about the very thing we tried to avoid in the 1st place. Link to post Share on other sites
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