is it ok?

[fatal2myself]

is it ok to go against what your family believes in and follow your own road, when you risk being disowned and erased from the family? my whole family is very religious. luthren in fact. i was born, baptized, and raised with it showing in every aspect of my life. born in a luthren hospital, baptized a luthren, went to the same church all my life, sunday school, mission trips, church camp, bible studies, luthren school, you name it, i could find religion in it. then i got curious about a word i found in the bible, pagans. i asked my teacher about it, and she said that they were evil, and brought no good to the world. they were the witches that we tried to stamp out years before. i wanted to know why, so i started reading about this religion, paganism. the more i found, the more i liked it. it felt more comfortable to me. then i found wicca, which is a branch of paganism, and i liked that even more. that was 3 years ago. i've been hiding it from my family ever since. it feels like i'm lying to them because i still pretend that i believe in jesus christ. but i don't.

 

so, is it ok to go against everything you were raised to believe and go against your family, just for beliefs?

[disgracian]

If you are an adult, then you don't need anybody's permission to make your own decisions and live your own life.

 

The heart of this issue though, isn't entirely about what is "okay" and what isn't. If your parents disown you for exercising free will, then their behaviour is morally abysmal. That doesn't mean that they won't do it, and it also doesn't mean you shouldn't consider the consequences. Life isn't always fair, and what is practical and what is ideal rarely coincide.

 

Nobody can choose your beliefs for you, and they shouldn't try. Everybody is entitled to their own beliefs. But sometimes they will. Ultimately they can't make you believe anything that you don't, because that's just not how it works. You can't stare at a blue pen and see red unless you are remarkably adept at self-deception. If you don't believe in Jesus then no amount of shouting, preaching or threatening will change that.

 

Be yourself, but be prepared for the consequences.

 

Cheers,

D.

[lonelybird]

Believe in Jesus is from heart, nobody can force you although they know how Jesus loves them and they want you to feel that love as well , I think your parents so want you to be with them in heaven, they want all good things for your life because Lord CAN.

 

Just remember when you feel lost, and fear, you can call Lord for help. Light and darkness, which you will choose?

 

Lord is light, love and truth

[Geishawhelk]

Well if you go by LonelyBird's opinion, we're all doomed....

 

I was a practising Roman Catholic for over 40 years when i changed direction and decided I found something that spoke to me in a non-judgemental, non-threatening, non-vindictive, non-coercive way. (sorry lonelyBird, but that is so evident in your post.)

 

I completely agree that you must make your own choices, but be prepared for the consequences of your choices.

I know estrangement from close family members, and I know what it is to be rejected, ignored and despised. But all this is not on account of my "Faith" choice, but from a personal Life-choice.

 

My entire family - especially the Italian, Roman Catholic contingent - have unreservedly and openly accepted my Buddhist calling, and respect and embrace me with all affection and kindness.

 

My daughters are hostile, silent and completely non-communicative, because their father and I decided to go our separate ways, but they decided I was "to blame" for the initial choice.

 

make your decision, stand by it and live it.

Do what you feel you must. there is no way out of this without hurting someone. Hopefully, the love they bear for you will eventually overcome their initial alienation.

But don't count on it being any time soon. Give yourself time, and give them time. Do the right thing, love them unconditionally, and keep in touch with them, no matter what the response - or lack of it.

But remember this: A choice made for the feelings of someone else, is no choice at all.

 

I wish you every good thing, and ultimate happiness and peace of Mind. Whatever you decide.

[UsernameRemoved]

Tell your parents they should consider themselves lucky that you still believe in any religion and didn't turn into a complete non-believer like myself.

Don't get me wrong, I no a little about most of the major religions and it sounds like you know a lot more about the one you follow. Your beliefs will probably be held against you by your folks because of their beliefs, that's what religion is, a control mechanism for your mind.

Good luck whatever way you decide to go, tell them or not, you make sure you hold those beliefs close.

[Enema]

Yes, it is ok to believe what feels right to you.

 

Doing otherwise would be dishonest, and you'd go to hell for that anyway amirite?

[Moai]

Of course it is ok.

 

All supernatural beliefs are equal. If Wicca gives your life meaning then I say knock yourself out.

 

Notice, though, that by choosing Wicca you will have people tell you that such is "dark force" or that you are being duped by Satan or the like, which will probably make it more difficult considering that your family is Lutheran.

 

It might go badly at first, but eventually when they see that you aren't growing horns, killing people, and are holding down a job it'll probably quiet down. The love that your family has for you will win out. That is, unless they are so wrapped up in their superstitions that they can't get beyond it, in which case you will have to make your own family.

 

Why would you want to be close to people like that, whether you are related to them or not?

[Moose]

It doesn't matter what you believe. You'll always be challenged, blamed for, persecuted and put on the stupid bus by those who don't share your beliefs.

[ruby_gloom]

as some others have said, yes, of course it is fine to follow your own beliefs.

 

i'm really partial to what enema said because, imo, it is much more moral to openly reject a religion that has been forced (read: being born into it) onto you, than it is to be a hypocrite about it. by going to church, prayer meetings, bible readings, and anything else related to your parents religion, while being fully conscious that you do not believe or accept it, you are being immoral and demeaning to their beliefs.

 

further, you are not just cheating them and their faith, but also yourself.

 

religion and spirituality can be very fulfilling for some, so it is important that you practice one you--not your family--feel a connection with. imo, deciding what you believe in is a very important aspect of one's lifespan. i don't think life will ever be as fulfilling if you follow the beliefs of another when you don't want to or when you put no thought into such matters.

 

so, yes, you are absolutely right in trying to follow your own path, and in fact, i commend you for trying.

 

however, bear in mind that paganism, or more specifically, in your case, wicca, is not readily accepted as other "common" religions, and is perhaps one of the ones that is more shunned. this comes about because of the misconception that if you are pagan (note: paganism is not a religion; rather, it is a way of life), you must therefore have dealings with "the devil".

 

the reason most people believe this is because of the bible, in that it says that any "magicians" come about their "powers" because of evil alliances with the devil. as you delve more into this lifestyle, you will realize exactly why that is belief is erroneous.

 

i don't want to derail into talking about it more, so suffice it to say that my point is that you need to be prepared for double the criticism because you are not only rebelling against your parent's beliefs, but as choosing paganism/wicca--something most view as evil and satanic, even though it is not--over them.

 

also, do you mind if i ask why this belief system appeals to you? i don't mean any offense, but it seems to me that these days, being pagan/wiccan is really popular, especially among young people who are looking for some kind of shock factor.

 

i just hope you are choosing this path for you, not because "it's cool, dude."

 

good luck!

[disgracian]

Bear in mind also that while honesty is a virtue, I have known people who were kicked out of home at the ages of 14 or 15 for rejecting their parents' religion. It's disgusting behaviour, yes, but it does happen.

 

So, unlike George Bush, make sure you have an exit strategy before you take any action.

 

Cheers,

D.

[lonelybird]

Holy Spirit is much more cool, because the universe is God's, Holy Spirit is sent by God.

 

But I think you have to conquer the pressure that come from your friends if you choose to believe in true living God. I don't think many can be dare to be different, like Moose said, when you hold some dear truth, you have to face the chanlenge, some failed:(, maybe one day they will find way back

 

If you ask God for Holy Spirit with faith through prayer, God would send you .

 

But whatever you choose, I will pray for you. and please remember God loves you, when you call him for help, he will answer you

 

All the best and God is love and power

[disgracian]

LB, I really wish you would stop preaching at people in a way that is both insulting and not really even confined to the topic. What you're doing here just blanket proselytising.

 

The OP does not share a belief in your god, and instead has his or her own beliefs, which you should at least try to pretend to respect for the purposes of any responses you might make in this thread. If you don't have any advice on the topic of how and whether or not to raise this topic with his parents, then perhaps you should refrain from posting.

 

Cheers,

D.

[lonelybird]

LB, I really wish you would stop preaching at people in a way that is both insulting and not really even confined to the topic. What you're doing here just blanket proselytising.

 

The OP does not share a belief in your god, and instead has his or her own beliefs, which you should at least try to pretend to respect for the purposes of any responses you might make in this thread. If you don't have any advice on the topic of how and whether or not to raise this topic with his parents, then perhaps you should refrain from posting.

 

Cheers,

D.

I have to speak out truth, but choose or not really depend on you.

 

cheers

[Geishawhelk]

I have to speak out truth, but choose or not really depend on you.

 

cheers

 

No, let us be clear. this is not TRUTH, this is just your TRUTH. There is a distinction. The very fact that others do not hold this as something they follow, even after thought and examination, precludes it from being labelled as absolute. If it were univerally and completely accepted, then I would understand, but it isn't.

So we can only say that your posts are personal opinion, or view. But it is not, and cannot be termed "Truth".

After 40 years as a practising Catholic, I feel I am entitled to speak with some authority.

 

What other religions have you studied in depth to be able to think you can label yours as Truth, anyway?

What do you know for sure, about Wicca and Paganism?

 

I am sincerely curious. I am not being argumentative. I would like to know.

[Geishawhelk]

....it seems to me that these days, being pagan/wiccan is really popular, especially among young people who are looking for some kind of shock factor.

 

i just hope you are choosing this path for you, not because "it's cool, dude."

 

good luck!

 

I have encountered this with Buddhism too...I personally hold "Absolutely fabulous" and Edina, partially responsible - !! :laugh:

 

Great post, in full, too, Ruby...!

[CaterpillarGirl]

My parents raised me and my two sisters Catholic. I'm pretty much the only one who stuck with Catholicism, because I love it! One sister is agnostic and the other is Jewish. My parents were disappointed that they turned away from the faith, but they are very accepting of all of our individual choices. I think we all have a healthy respect for each other's beliefs.

 

Of course, my sisters come to Mass with us at Christmas, but no one forces them to pray along or sing or anything. And if my sister ever gets married in a Jewish ceremony or if she wanted us to be with her at temple for some reason, I'm sure we would all oblige. We do it out of love for each other as family members.

 

I hope that your parents will also be understanding of your choice. But it may be hard for them to accept it, I think. It sounds like they believe strongly that salvation is through Christ alone, and if that's the case, it is hard to accept that the child you've loved and cared for will be separated from you in death. It is frightening for them, I'm sure. I guess the best you can do is reassure them you still intend to lead a moral life and that this "rejection" of your cradle faith is not a rejection of them or the lifestyle that they lead.

 

I also want to echo previous statements that you should never just accept a religion without question, even the faith you've been brought up in. My choice to remain Catholic occurred after much introspection and deliberation. I think a person who accepts everything they're told and never questions it can only have a shallow, unfulfilled faith.

[Geishawhelk]

CaterpillarGirl,

That's one of the most open, frank, honest and sincere faithful posts I have read, and I applaud you for your frank, candid and unbiased opinion. Thank you for that!

 

You go girl - !!

[CaterpillarGirl]

Thank you! I hope that everyone feels as fulfilled by their choice of faith as I do - that is truly the best reward for all our deliberation and introspection in choosing what to believe!

[Geishawhelk]

Yes, even though of course, you're wrong.

 

 

That was a joke.

 

No, really, it was!!

[lonelybird]

No, let us be clear. this is not TRUTH, this is just your TRUTH. There is a distinction. The very fact that others do not hold this as something they follow, even after thought and examination, precludes it from being labelled as absolute. If it were univerally and completely accepted, then I would understand, but it isn't.

So we can only say that your posts are personal opinion, or view. But it is not, and cannot be termed "Truth".

After 40 years as a practising Catholic, I feel I am entitled to speak with some authority.

 

What other religions have you studied in depth to be able to think you can label yours as Truth, anyway?

What do you know for sure, about Wicca and Paganism?

 

I am sincerely curious. I am not being argumentative. I would like to know.

I read some other religion as well, but Holy Spirit led me to Lord and Bible all the time. I was not born in a christian country or family. I was converted by God's supernature power:love:

 

Truth comes from God, from Holy Spirit. It is NOT my truth. It does not come from my brain. I just accepted Lord into my heart.

 

Truth is absolute, but I respect others' choices as I know only God can convert people's heart. Maybe different people has different time and fate.

 

Only Jesus Christ can save us from sin. and this is God's plan. But I won't shove anything down to anybody's throat, choices are YOURS . But I have to speak the truth.

[Geishawhelk]

yes, Lonelybird, I appreciate that. Everyone has to speak the truth, especially when they adhere or are followers of a creed or religion. here perhaps, we have the possible obstacle of difficulties in language and self-expression.

Whilst I - and I am sure, many others - realise that your religion is YOUR truth, I am hoping to try to explain and make you understand that whilst you have accepted God and jesus into your heart, as the Fundamental Truth of your Belief, they are not present in the same way in the hearts and Minds of others. So you may speak the truth, but in the end, it can only be YOUR truth, and true for you, because this is the way you choose to believe it.

Truth comes from God, from Holy Spirit. It is NOT my truth. It does not come from my brain. I just accepted Lord into my heart.

This is still your choice of Truth. You believe that this is where Truth comes from, but it is still a choice, because nobody - not even God - demanded that you believe it, or forced it upon you. It is a clear choice of path, which is why it is YOURS, and not everybody's. You see?

 

Truth is absolute

Only proven Truth is absolute.

God is not proven, so it is not absolute. It is a Faith, based upon strong belief and Hope, but it is not absolute. That the earth revolves around the sun, is an absolute. That God and Jesus are Ultimate and definitive Saviours, is not an absolute, because not everyone can turn their minds to this belief.

 

I am just trying to clarify and to explain that we can only give our opinions and points of view, but we cannot expect everyone to accept our Truths, however much we may have undying and unshakeable faith in it ourselves. This is why it is not skilful to talk in absolutes!

 

Do you see what I mean?