wall_clock Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Okay, this is my first post... Let's see... I need some help. About a year and a half ago, my boyfriend of 1 year cheated on me with his ex and then broke up with me to be with her. Since then, we got back together and have been back together 8 months... things couldn't be better, honestly. Anyways, after we broke up, I saw on his myspace page, that she now had a profile. And yes, thanks to the "stealth-ness" of the internet, I have been able to "keep a tab on her" if you will. It has been a year and a half and I still find myself obsessingly checking her pages on myspace and facebook. I feel so pathetic even admitting to this in a public forum, but I really want to stop, but can't... I don't know why and I really want to forget that this person even exsists, but I can't. I try to talk to my friends and family, who have been there with me through all of this mess and new found greatness... but they look at me like I am stupid and just tell me to stop. I wish it were only that easy. So, I am hoping that if people take the time to give me some advice on this subject or even talk to me about this, I can get over my wierd obsession with her. I don't want to waste anymore of my time on her. All comments and advice is welcomed! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
zilverenvlinder Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Um, wow. That's probably what's going to happen to me. Stupid exes. I really hate them. I'm obsessed with my (ex?)fiance's ex too, because he cheated on me with her twice and told her he was having doubts about me and he wanted to be with her. I just want to know what's so GREAT about her. Your bf obviously also forgot why they broke up in the first place, as did mine, and are seeing them through rose-colored glasses. Mine says he no longer has ANY feelings for her whatsoever, but how am I to believe that? And how are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Wall, Zil, This is to both of you. I think your obsession is multifold. One, you want to make sure he doesnt go back to her, and two you are comparing yourselves to the ex. You both subconciously realize that your BF is mentally comparing you to his ex. This causes stress and anxiety. When a guy cheats on you he is telling you something. You just need to listen. Link to post Share on other sites
squeak Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Great concise answer c30. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wall_clock Posted August 2, 2007 Author Share Posted August 2, 2007 My boyfriend and I are doing very well right now and have been since we got back together. I am fine with every aspect of our relationship then only thing that bothers me is her. She isn't contacting him in any sort of way, but I still feel inclined to know what she is doing with her life. I honestly never really thought that I was comparing myself to her but after I read the reply, it sunk it that I am. I just want to know why I still even bother to spend my time snooping around on the internet to see what she is up to. I have never met her before, only seen pictures and what not on the internet, but I feel sometimes like I want to sit down and get to know her so I can figure out what kind of person she is.... again, as I write this, I realize so I can compare myself to her, in person. Wow... Thanks for all the replies so far... even though there are only three right now, but this seems to be helping... Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Wallclock, you are a unique and beautiful person. Though I understand enough of your situation to identify part of what may be causing your thought process, I do not know how to deal with it or overcome this. All I can tell you is that she cannot be better than you. Best Wishes Link to post Share on other sites
Author wall_clock Posted August 2, 2007 Author Share Posted August 2, 2007 Thank you for the kind words Cobra! Link to post Share on other sites
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