Amida111 Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Hi I've been reading the forum for a while and was wondering if someone can give me some insight. There is a saying: An intelligent man knows a lot, a wise man knows himself. How do you spend time getting to know yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Well.. pickup a candle, a tube of lube and.. ahhhh nevermind I have always thought that any success that I have knowing myself has been thru 2 methods.. 1). Being by myself for an extended period of time.. meaning no dating for 6 months to a year. 2). Going thru traumatic life changing things.. such as quitting drinking and living sober.. or my parents dying of cancer.. those type of things.. Loss has taught me a great deal about myself.. loosing parents and pets and family members as well as an exwife and throw in a GF that meant a fair deal to me and you get GROWTH. Which then comes happiness and moving on as well as finding the one that does trip your trigger. I'm sure there are many ways but those 2 methods have always been my success in knowing myself.. knowing what I want and going for it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Hi I've been reading the forum for a while and was wondering if someone can give me some insight. There is a saying: An intelligent man knows a lot, a wise man knows himself. How do you spend time getting to know yourself? this is not easy... it takes a lot of wisdom... I think... The best way, IMO, is to have lots of 'introspection'... question your emotions... how you feel... A good way is also to hold a 'journal'. Link to post Share on other sites
beautifulearth83 Posted August 2, 2007 Share Posted August 2, 2007 Great question! Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 A combination of suffering, isolation, an open mind, and brutal honesty about yourself. Plus many hours of just lying on your bed, alone, and thinking. Enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
beautifulearth83 Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 A combination of suffering, isolation, an open mind, and brutal honesty about yourself. Plus many hours of just lying on your bed, alone, and thinking. Enjoy! This is a pretty honest response. I've been doing a good amount of these things lately. It's good to be active as well as trying new things. Having a good place to think, a good hobby and/or passion. You're curious about who you are right now Amida and you're making an effort to learn, so I believe that's a good step. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 You have to be honest with yourself in order to truly know yourself. Self-deception and false illusions about our strengths, weaknesses, desires and character contribute to never knowing who you are. As you go through life's experiences, whether they be achievements and successes or setbacks and mistakes, adventures or ruts, always take some time to reflect on what they say about who you are and the role you played in the events. Don't lie to yourself - look in the mirror and admit the truth to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 For me journaling has been the most helpful thing to do a little self-discovery. When you put your thoughts into words you gain an awareness of who you are. I'm not one to buy fancy journals in card stores. For me a spiral notebook and a pack of Bics works just fine. Enjoy the journey inward! Link to post Share on other sites
dvsxx6 Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Hi I've been reading the forum for a while and was wondering if someone can give me some insight. There is a saying: An intelligent man knows a lot, a wise man knows himself. How do you spend time getting to know yourself? I've noticed that reading and writing in a journal helps me. Another thing that helps is just throwing myself out to new experiences and just doing what I feel is right for me. It's basically learning through trial and error. It's scary, and it does hurt.. but contemplating what may or may not happen and actually doing something about your fear are two different things. I just got a job at a very busy corporation and I'm scared as sh.t! I'm scared not knowing what to say to people and most times, I don't say anything to anyone. I'm 20, and I sometimes feel like a child around the 30, 40-something's because I don't really know what I want or who I really am. It takes time. And I'm somewhat in the same boat as you are. Though getting out of my comfort zone and being vulnerable to criticism and uncertainty is difficult, I believe that I gain valuable life experiences that I wouldn't otherwise know about unless I've experienced hardship. I'm not saying that life has to be hard.. life is certainly unfair, I'll say that for sure. Sometimes you just have to take everything as a learning experience and work with what the situation is, and not dwell too much about the negative. The thing is though, is that you have to explore the things you enjoy. Or at least be open to new things, even if you don't agree with it. Give things a shot, and hey.. you never know.. you may like something your friend has planned or maybe you may learn something new? Who knows. For me, I have many hobbies: yoga, working out 5x a week, video games, reading, etc. my main hobby on weekends is to drink and socialize with friends. Not much there. I'm sure if I had even more hobbies, my world would expand tremendously. Have you considered trying different things that maybe you've never really experienced before? How about joining a club at school, or getting more acquainted with co-workers, or just join an activity that you'll enjoy and at the same time, learn and grow from. What have you got to lose? Even though you may be afraid of going out of your comfort zone, the only way to go is forward. There's no such thing as a failure. It's only what you make of it. It's hard because there's no real life-manual that says how you "should" live your life or what really is an acceptable life to live. Sometimes the person you portray to the world [the person you are] may be criticized or what not, but don't let that get you down. It's tough, but you've got to make it somehow. Find what works for you. BTW, how old are you? Good luck and take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amida111 Posted August 6, 2007 Author Share Posted August 6, 2007 Thanks for all the advice I think all of you have been very helpful. I think I'll start by keeping a journal. Just a few more questions: 1. Seeing as this will be my first journal what would you write in a journal? 2. A few people also mentioned that a traumatic experiences help, can you please elaborate on this because I've had traumatic experiences before and I don't understand how you can use them to get to know yourself better? To answer Dvsxx6: I'm 24 and work in the same sort of corporate environment as you described. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Think of 'traumatic experiences' helping you the same as learning how to swim or survive. (traumatic might be strong word here). If its your first time walking through Hell, your skin is going to be thin. Your skin gets thicker with each journey, and if you prevent yourself from being reduced to a 'victim' but instead become a 'survivor', this is how you know yourself better. Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 This is actually a really good thread:) I have to pretty much agree with everyone who has posted a response... No dating.. being on your own.. thinking what life is.. and how you want it to be. Self-reflection... and figuring how you can change your self for the better.. find out what you don't like about yourself... and work at that... Loss ... is a powerful motivator for change.... but you have to want to do something to change... have to willing to work at it to change.. and believe it.. for it to stay permanent... I for one am not the same person, I was a year ago... I honestly do not recognise myself... from who I used to be. I am more like who I was.... actually when I was in my late teens.. early 20's before I let crush me down... Anyway.. I could probably harp on for a while.. so I stop here.. I used LS as my journal... and a occasionally look back .. and see the changes over the past year... in my own postings... from confusion.. and desperation.. to forgiveness and understanding.. I am no longer the grasshopper.. Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 This is actually a really good thread:) I have to pretty much agree with everyone who has posted a response... No dating.. being on your own.. thinking what life is.. and how you want it to be. Self-reflection... and figuring how you can change your self for the better.. find out what you don't like about yourself... and work at that... Loss ... is a powerful motivator for change.... but you have to want to do something to change... have to willing to work at it to change.. and believe it.. for it to stay permanent... I for one am not the same person, I was a year ago... I honestly do not recognise myself... from who I used to be. I am more like who I was.... actually when I was in my late teens.. early 20's before I let crush me down... Anyway.. I could probably harp on for a while.. so I stop here.. I used LS as my journal... and a occasionally look back .. and see the changes over the past year... in my own postings... from confusion.. and desperation.. to forgiveness and understanding.. I am no longer the grasshopper.. Oh yeah... I forgot to mention "time".... it takes some time to get to know you... with no or little distractions! Link to post Share on other sites
Quinch Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 I learned a lot about myself by going through therapy a couple of years ago. The therapist asked a lot of questions about me and made me think hard about who I was for the first time in my life. If you don't have a therapist, talk to yourself instead Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 Brutal....honesty. Once you do that, you should be able to laugh at yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
JulieJ Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 I think you can really get to know yourself my taking time to do the things you want to do, but have never done. I just read an article in More Magazine about this place called San Miguel de Allende in Mexico, which has become a sort of "reinvention" destination for women who are looking to "find" themselves. Taking a trip some where by yourself could definitely be a good way to get to know yourself, albeit an expensive one! Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Traveling can do a lot for a person. There are many things you can learn from traveling that you cant learn if you're stuck in a work/school/home routine since childhood. Any time I've traveled to other countries and returned, I grow a little more wiser and mature. Activities/hobbies. It's good to take risk... Often times people wont know if they will enjoy doing something or eating something unless they try something new. Who knows, you could hate or or love it? and if the latter doesnt apply, well at least you made an attempt to take a shot. But who knows again, maybe you could learn to like it given time. Overall, i think the more well-rounded one becomes...the more wisdom and experience one attains from trial, error, and success. More or less wisdom is attained through figuring out what works and what doesnt in life, and correcting our actions, thoughts, and behaviors through those mistakes to avoid encountering them again in the future. If i had to say where one could do the most possible personal growth, it would be when the person isnt in a relationship. In the end it depends how open-minded you are to change and taking risks. Link to post Share on other sites
jcster Posted August 12, 2007 Share Posted August 12, 2007 Learning to forgive yourself and to give yourself the same indulgence that you give everyone else in your life is very important. So many people waste so much time in self hatred that they never get to know themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Kwo-ne'-she Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Learning to forgive yourself and to give yourself the same indulgence that you give everyone else in your life is very important. So many people waste so much time in self hatred that they never get to know themselves. Very good point. Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves, that we spend too much time focusing on the bad in us, rather than the good..... Link to post Share on other sites
disgracian Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Somebody raised the point of self-deception. Avoiding it is easier said than done, obviously, because by definition you're not aware that you're even doing it. Recording your thoughts for posterity is a good way to counter this. By reading back over them from time to time, you give yourself a sense of perspective to chart your journey from one point to another. Seeing where you've come from can help you more accurately see where you're going, and also where you are right now. As for isolation, introspection, self-critique, they are all invaluable tools. Engaging in debates tests your perceptions in ways that few masters of self-analysis could ever hope to achieve. Other people are almost always more prepared and able to point out your inconsistencies than you are. Put them to good use. I am always available to point out every little way in which you are wrong. PM me for my business card. ;-) Cheers, D. Link to post Share on other sites
suga Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Hi I've been reading the forum for a while and was wondering if someone can give me some insight. There is a saying: An intelligent man knows a lot, a wise man knows himself. How do you spend time getting to know yourself? Hi, Ive heard the expression "A wise man keeps his own counsel." I think this means that instead of looking for validation from others you have to be a good detective and judge of situations yourself, dont let people manipulate your good judgement, dont let them know how you feal all the time, know yourself and what your buttons are and protect them from others in order not to be foolishly manipulated by pity or compassion for people with motives. I dont know if your expression means the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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