My wife has been having an affair

[micheljrc]

for two years now. I just got proof on the weekend. Yes I broke into her email account but I needed to know. We have been married for almost 8 years and I find this out. Man I was crushed, I have never been so hurt in all my life. She called the other man and told him that it was over ( I listened to the call as well). There were a couple of ex-boyfriends too during that time span. She tells me that she wants to work it out, so do I but can it really work out ? We saw a marriage counsellor a couple of days later and it felt good to get stuff out in the open. We will continue to do so and try to get it to work. We have a beautiful baby daughter (5 weeks old) so all of this has been overwhelming. I guess I'm asking others if they have been thru this and what results did they get ?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Yep, and it's a long row to hoe! Do you believe her truly deep down? Can you let it go? Was it happening during her pregnancy? Usually they test for some std's during pregnancy have you been tested?

 

I feel for you. There is no way to get permanent custody of an infant if she is not a danger to it. There is nothing in this world that I have experienced that comes close to parenting an infant, you've got quite a delema on your hands. I'm truly sorry for you. Enjoy your baby! That's a gift in itself.

[corazoncito]

I hate to ask this, but are you sure about the paternity of your baby?

[Darth Vader]

I hate to ask this, but are you sure about the paternity of your baby?

 

 

Exactly my thoughts! I would contact a lawyer and get out, but get that baby DNA tested, if she's not yours, cover your butt legally, sue your wife if you can, and move on! The thoughts of her banging another man/men, may be too much for you, what's her lame excuse for destroying you like this?

[bish]

for two years now. I just got proof on the weekend. Yes I broke into her email account but I needed to know. We have been married for almost 8 years and I find this out. Man I was crushed, I have never been so hurt in all my life.

 

I know man. It hurts. But you need to turn that hurt into a little anger and then let the anger turn into strength. Because in my opinion, even though I know you may want to work it out, you should prepare yourself to divorce her. She isn't worth being married to you.

 

She called the other man and told him that it was over ( I listened to the call as well). There were a couple of ex-boyfriends too during that time span. She tells me that she wants to work it out, so do I but can it really work out ?

 

No...it can't. Why? because you will never trust her again, will never look at the tramp the same again....and she will always want to spread her legs for other men, whether she actually does or not. Once a cheater always a cheater.

 

 

We saw a marriage counsellor a couple of days later and it felt good to get stuff out in the open. We will continue to do so and try to get it to work. We have a beautiful baby daughter (5 weeks old) so all of this has been overwhelming. I guess I'm asking others if they have been thru this and what results did they get ?

 

She was cheating on you with a 5 week old in the house? Maybe this child is not yours. I'd get your daughter swabbed right away and you can only hope that the little sweetheart turns up to be yours.

 

But I have a 6 year old and a sweet little 2 year old when I found out that my wife was cheating all through our marriage. I had a DNA test and luckily they are both mine.

 

But I think you may want to consider divorcing this "woman", because she now is not the same woman you married. And you will never trust her again...not 100% anyway, and believe me....if it isn't 100%, its not worth trying to hold on to.

 

I know how you feel....I tried to work it out thinking I could deal with the betrayal for my kids' sake. But in the end it wasn't worth it. I wasn't going to waste the rest of my life living with a tramp.

 

I think you need to think about leaving yours as well....but if you think you can work it out, that is up to you.

[Darth Vader]

Bish, have you stayed, or divorced your wife?

[bish]

Bish, have you stayed, or divorced your wife?

 

Our divorce will be final probably by the end of this month.

 

Can't wait to get rid of a tramp. Looking forward to being single....and so are a couple other women.

[Curmudgeon]

But I think you may want to consider divorcing this "woman", because she now is not the same woman you married.

 

She's the same woman the OP married. He's just now getting to know the real her, not the one she portrayed herself to be.

 

I can both sympathize and empathize. After I divorced the straying ex, reflection and recall, uncluttered and unfettered by proximity, opened my eyes and in looking back over 25 years worth of past events I came to realize that who she was when I divorced her was precisely who and what she was when I married her.

 

Love can decidedly be blind!

[ls707]

micheljrc: im sorry such a thing has befallen you. Its hard to come out and just deal with something that has been a constant in your life for the last 8 years or so.

 

As another member suggested have a dna test taken on the child asap. Why? Cuz she was cheating with this other guy over a 2 year term, which could mean hes the father; and also i read somewhere a consensus which reported that 1/3 men in North America have a child that is not even theirs. So for your own protection and your own assurance, get it done.

 

Im truly surprised that you are giving this woman another chance. After 2 years infidelity behind your back with her ex's. Not fair to you at all. I hope everything works out for you in the end.