Think I'm Goin Crazy

[marty]

just saw chinooks post, im a slow typer.

 

very warming words. and straight to the heart of the matter (excuse the pun).

 

thank you again for your time and your thoughts. there's nothin else i can say. your posts have been help beyond what i can put to paper (or screen).

[Lynz]

Wow Chinook, some of your posts actually brought me to tears. What a wonderful person you are.

 

Now marty, I want you to listen to me. I don't know you at all, but from what I've read I believe that you are one of the most wonderful people in the world. Why am I saying that? Well because you just are. Believe me, it will take a long time for this pain to heal and that is a perfectly normal thing. I don't believe for one second that you did anything wrong in this relationship that would have contributed to its' ending. I know you may feel otherwise, but that's alright, because when we love someone as much as you love this woman it is exceedingly difficult to think of them as having done anything wrong. We are so quick to blame ourselves because we think of the other person as something close to perfect, when the reality is they are just human like ourselves.

 

And do not for one second look down on yourself, and don't think that you are old-fashioned because you have never cheated and never had a one night stand. I believe that love and sex are intertwined, and you can't have one without the other. You obviously think the same, and that is wonderful, because there are not many guys left out there that think that. I've been looking for a guy like that for years, and so far had no luck. So count yourself as a diamond in the rough and nothing less.

 

All I can say is basically what everybody else has been saying. This pain is awful, it is horrible, it is nothing that anybody should have to go through, but unfortunately we all go through it because that is life. But trust me and trust everybody else, it will eventually get better.

 

Take care of yourself marty, and hang in there. We're all here for you.

[Chinook]

Wow Chinook, some of your posts actually brought me to tears. What a wonderful person you are. .

Not really. It's just that I was exactly where Marty is not 7 weeks ago now. It hurts like hell and if I can help relieve the pain for anyone then I'll try and do that. I don't think it costs anything to be compassionate to someone in trouble and it helps me to feel better too

 

And Lynz, you're in my neck of the woods. I work in Liverpool

[marty]

cant sleep. thought i was gonna but just laying here with the laptop .telly on and not watchin it.

i had about 10 minutes peace about an hour ago. after reading chinooks and funky's posts. just a little part of my brain woke up and said 'hello', saw reality,,saw perspective,, saw something on the telly that interested me, instead of it being an annoyingly flickery light in my bedroom when i'm laying in the dark thinking of things i shouldn't. but for 10 minutes it became a tv again.

 

but im back again. tiny rest in 2 weeks of hell. improvement,,, but my god,,now it seems as bad as ever. came back like a tsunami over my chest. so i'm awake,, ,,again,,,, come back tv. gonna be moving into my house this week sometime, nothing from her is left. nothing,,, no pictures, no letters, no gifts, she gave me a Friends box set for xmas, i sent it back (cost a fortune, damn royal mail). told her on saturday everythin was gone and she asked why. 'I've still got all your stuff', getting upset and thinking 'didnt i mean anything to you',,,,, 'thats the whole point' i said,,you just dont get it. i'm not sure she knows how much i'm hurting, none of my business anyway, but one day i hope, when she wakes up into reality,she will.

church organ music on the telly,, can hear it,,i play keyboards,, it snapped me back for a sec.

.......................

my god i'm ranting ,,

thnx lynz for your kind words. nice to hear someone who thinks i aint weird for being that way. always thought i'm weird for a guy.lol. the thought of another relationship , or even finding one, being the way i am,, in this day and age, and at my age,,,, here comes another tsunami.

 

time for that annoying flickering thing in the corner all night. anyone have a sledgehammer,,,, put me out for a while

[Chinook]

Hey, if you play keyboards, get yourself practicing. When I'm feeling bad I can't usually listen to any music and I can't concentrate on TV. But I found recently I can listen to 'Moonlight Sonata' if it's turned down low. It soothes everything, makes things easier.

 

As for the girl and her not understanding, nope. She can't understand. But it's not her feeling your pain. She has to deal with her own thing. There's no point in you guys torturing each other. But, I'm really glad you sent things back. There is less temptation to keep looking at things and keep torturing yourself. As for the house, believe it or not, you'll be grateful of it. That place is going to be YOUR new start. There will be no imprints of HER there. You can make it yours and do what you want.

 

Try to rest. Switch the TV off and lie in the dark and listen to your breathing, trust me it helps and it's relaxing. If it's raining, open the window so you can hear it. Or if you have a clock, put it in your room so you can hear it ticking. The repetitive gentle noise may help you to sleep. I find a clock and the window open helps me.

 

I went for my first run in 6 weeks tonight. It wasn't fun, it wasn't pretty and it hurt like hell because all the running routes I use...were 'our' routes. But I did it and I ran 4.23 miles which isn't so bad. It was slow but it was steady. It helped in the end. I felt better afterwards and I have something back which I cherished before I met him. The next thing is cycling and swimming. I'm going to try and make sure I do something each evening. I'm also looking around the house thinking things could do with a lick of paint and fixing up a little.

 

Marty, whilst I was out this evening, some other things I was thinking about which I haven't been too careful of in the last 6 weeks....

 

Try to eat at least one decent meal a day. Preferably home cooked with fresh vegetables. When someone is in the middle of emotional trauma, the body's metabolism kicks into overdrive and the immune system doesn't work so well... that's why we get colds when we're depressed etc. So try to eat some decent food even if you can't stomach 3 square meals.

 

Starting tomorrow night, try to fix a good bedtime routine. I'm going to do this too. I failed tonight that's for sure but that's mainly because my endorphins from the run are still flying around - I didn't get back until 9.30pm. Make sure you go to bed at the same time each night, even if you just lie there staring at the ceiling. Buy some lavender essential oil for the pillow and sprinkle a little on it. Warm some milk and drink that before bed too.

 

next thing... exercise. Okay you don't need to become a fitness guru but definitely try to do some exercise each day. Even if it is just a walk round the block or a wander in the park. My favourite is running and cycling so I'm going to try and focus on them. Exercise will give you 'me' time and will allow your mind to wander. It will also physically push your body to produce 'feel good' hormones and they will help balance out the despair ones.

 

People always say 'get busy' but I think if you start with the basics and you eat well, sleep well and have some exercise, it will help the process to begin healing. You don't have to spend masses amount of your time and emotional resources doing so but you need to start some place. I know for me the last 6 weeks, I've made mistakes because I couldn't focus on anything. If someone had said to me 'just do this small thing each day until it feels better, then you can focus on getting busy' I think I may have found things slightly easier. Maybe. The first week or ten days I didn't eat at all and I lost 10lbs. My Ma nearly had a fit when she saw me. I started off slowly on soup and now I'm eating fruit interspersed with one meal in the evenings after work. So now I have eating figured, I have to work on sleeping and exercising and I'm kinda thinking that sleep will get easier with the exercise too.

 

I'm gonna hit the hay. You take care of yourself and try to rest.

[Lynz]

That's a good idea. I know myself that when something like this happens and people say 'try to keep yourself busy' the whole idea of that is just so daunting. Sometimes we prefer to just sit around by ourselves doing nothing all day because the other idea sounds like a mammoth task. But if you scale it down to just a few simple things like concentrating on eating better, getting into a good sleep routine and exercising, it will become easier eventually to move on with your life and you won't be feeling as depressed.

 

Nice to hear you work in Liverpool Chinook, I've lived here all my life and I go to Liverpool University.

[marty]

i was thinking similar thoughts tbh. always used to work out, but with the stress of everything havent done a thing for ages.

 

had a bad morning, which surprised me. mind you,, had a torturous dream that we were still a couple,,, cruel.... woke up early. well one thing led to another and as i'm staying with my parents for a while,, we got talking,,, i broke down, and for the first time in 35 years,,, witnessed my dad breaking down too. he's been so so worried about me over the last 18months he told me. and the last 2 weeks didnt know what to do to help me.

i felt terrible tbh,, big quiet gentle man, never says a word in judgement , lets u get on with things,,, and i broke him, me. for the mess i've been in because of her. hit me like a brick. me not eating, sleeping, tired, kranky,it ws killing him. i need to get my act together. what a state i've got myself into over this. hit a turning point today,, she isnt worth all this pain.

still hurts like. but she aint worth it

[marty]

she was worth it though, or i wouldnt be going through this right?

 

what a day,,, terrible this morning,,,,, not bad this afternoon,,, guilty tonight,,,,,,,missing her one minute,,, angry the next,,,,,,,,,

 

as we say up here in scotland,,,,,,, my heads mince

[Chinook]

Hi Marty -- glad to see you've turned a corner. You're right, when things push you to that level, it's really not worth it. Sorry that you had to see your Dad in such a state but you know, maybe that's what you needed to see, to see that other people do care about you and how much impact all this is having. You're his son, of course he's worried sick about you because he knows he can't live your life for you. You know... you're doing okay. I know it doesn't feel like it but you actually are doing okay.

 

As for me... want a laugh...? I decided I needed to 'get out more' and 'forge new friendships'. So I went to a local running club tonight. Really enjoyed it. Little did I know that one of the coaches is a triathlete and she has a triathlon club...so got invited to that tomorrow night for bike training. Also sent a couple of emails off about meditation / yoga classes... so get this for BUSY!

 

Mondays - Yoga class (starts next week).

Tuesdays - Running club.

Wednesdays - Triathlon club (bike training).

Thursdays - Tai Chi class (it's the same bloke who teaches the yoga & he recommended it for the meditation).

Fridays - Running club (speed work training).

Saturdays - Triathlon club (bike training am & swim training pm).

Sundays - Running club (long slow run for marathon training).

 

I'm knackered just thinking about it !!!!

 

Glad I'm doing it though.

[marty]

this is week 3, (although the final goodbye was only last saturday).

 

i'm writing here , because the urge to contact her is unbearable today. been through so many feelings these last 2 or 3 days. Angry, how dare she come into my life and turn it upside down,, missing her,, her touch , her smile,,, sadness, scared of being alone , big time.

if i dont write something here i'm gonna fall, and send her a txt or something, which will serve no purpose but to send me right back to sqaure one.

 

my friend in holland has also reveiled to me that she did the same , if not worse to her last partner. Got married even though she didnt want to,,,,, and even tried to have a baby just to save the relationship and then miscarried. my friend is a very close friend to her ex. Her ex almost had a nervous breakdown because of her. ...... and she made him look like the baddy too. didnt give her enough attention,,, wasnt there when she needed him,,,,, this all sounds far too familiar.

 

you know, i dont know how i feel. , lucky in a way i guess.

but i cant help it,, i still love her. even through everything. i think she has problems, serious problems and i cant help her with that. although deep down i wish i could,,,,,,,stop it marty!!!!!!

 

unknowing to me my best friend here in scotland sent her an email saying just what she thought of her. probably didnt help, not me anyway,, but it helped her,, she had been dying to say something but hadnt because of me.

 

its over, and i'm glad i found this stuff out now,,, but my feelings for her are still as strong..... fell for her big time,,,, what a shmuck!!

 

feel a little better now,,,,, like i say,, if i didnt write something here i was gonna do something very silly. thanks for giving me space to share

 

off to paint some of my house,,, must keep busy or i'll send myself mad.

 

no doubt i'll be back here ranting on before too much longer ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Chinook]

Posting here instead of contacting her is a better strategy for coping. Wish I'd done that. You're right, it will take you right back to square one. Hang in there Marty, keep breathing.

[marty]

its unbelievably hard. so so tempting to send a little 'how u' txt....almost even called her today.... stupid.

 

but i'm proud that i didnt,,,, before when i've had that feeling i've gave in in the past,,,,,,, not today

 

posted here, called my best friend,,,,,, anything to stop myself....

 

guys,if anyone is going through the same right now,,,,,,,, do NOT DO IT,

 

i put a screensaver on my phone saying the same thing,,,

 

been a step forward today,

 

one day nearer to peace.

[marty]

i did it. jesus. i feel so weak and degraded. slipped up big time.

 

just read this thread.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=56954

 

i wish i had seen that before. now i'm pretty sure she thinks i'm a pathetic fool.

 

like i said in an ealier post i seem to fall to pieces when i break up with someone, and now reading that entire thread, i feel terrible.

 

no pride, and no strength. all i can do is learn i guess , but i hate to think of what she thinks of me now. she has her problems and i know that but i feel i've let myself down. i feel stupid and low beyond belief.

 

i should have ended all this sooner, with a clean break, kept my dignity,, but no,,,,,,,,, had to keep trying even though she was what she was.

 

i'm not back at square one, but i have alot of learning to do about myself. i feel a failure tbh. maybe too hard on myself, but i always am.

 

it would help alot to hear ppl's views. am i the only one who hates themselves at the moment.

[funkybassplayer]

i did it. jesus. i feel so weak and degraded. slipped up big time.

 

just read this thread.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=56954

 

i wish i had seen that before. now i'm pretty sure she thinks i'm a pathetic fool.

 

like i said in an ealier post i seem to fall to pieces when i break up with someone, and now reading that entire thread, i feel terrible.

 

no pride, and no strength. all i can do is learn i guess , but i hate to think of what she thinks of me now. she has her problems and i know that but i feel i've let myself down. i feel stupid and low beyond belief.

 

i should have ended all this sooner, with a clean break, kept my dignity,, but no,,,,,,,,, had to keep trying even though she was what she was.

 

i'm not back at square one, but i have alot of learning to do about myself. i feel a failure tbh. maybe too hard on myself, but i always am.

 

it would help alot to hear ppl's views. am i the only one who hates themselves at the moment.

 

 

Hey man come on dont beat yourself up over it, you did what you had to do, and now you have to put that where it is, in the past. Today is a new day, dont look back, look forward, in 2 weeks, it will be two weeks n/c. Not everyone can stick to it, and sometimes you must do what you must do. At the end of the day what is it? a text, thats all, or a call. Let her think what she likes, who cares! none of us do! we care about you! come on, its cool, its nothing, America and the middle est have not deployed more troops! Its only a little point of contact, and one that says you care. No one can bring you down for that.

[marty]

means alot m8 thanks. to know im relatively normal......

and that ppl care.

 

means a lot

[Donza]

Now you understand woman

Im not a woman basher. But Ive been on the receiving side also.

At first amazing almost porn like sex, compliments everywhere, how she wants a baby and a life together.

Well, after I got my own place. She lost interest. Sex was almost non existant at that point (blamed on STD which.. frankly I dont know where she got from, but now its starting to make sense).

Its hard when reality hits you, and your forced to wake up from the fake world your now ex-love put you in.

Women can be manipulators.

Signs to watch out for: (this is my personal take, please read this with humor as I dont take myself or anything very seriously anymore):

 

1- During sex at a motel with mirrors on ceilings and walls, she mostly adores herself during the act even thought she has a body builder on top of her (or behind) making sexy faces to herself. Not to you.

2- She has a lot of friends. Correction, a lot of male friends.

3- She talks about their achievements, and ignores your own even thought you could smash them all in one sentence.

4- The sex is non existant at any point, means cheat or run. If you do the first the sex will come again, in doses you wont be able to handle.

5- Shes all about what color christinas aguileras hair clip was yesterday. If a metoeorite smashed into India and wiped out one in every five human beings on this planet she would call her friend and say "OMG!!! Do you know what happened?? YAAAaaaaa...."

6- When shes in your car, thats a fairly good ride conidering her family can only afford a 12 year old toyota camry, she checks out other cars, especially the ones with the cheap mods such as blue lights on sprinkler exits, or around registration plates.

7- If you take her out anywhere, she complains about not being somewhere else, and constantly never separates from her cell phone with her 'best friend' (who also happens to be one of the most annoying people on this earth that you have ever met).

 

The first lines from my ex now gf when I met her were 'omg you look like a model!!'. Ive had a lot of girls before her, but somehow I fell in love with this one (Now I think it was the motel sex. I really felt like a badass). My biggest mistake was to get involved. I introduced her to my family etc and were together for nearly 3 years. She left me when she got into university (lol.. and i didnt see it coming!!) After I got a place of my own, just like you had, from the money I earn in the big cooperate job I always dreamed of (she dumped me in the food court of my office building).

 

Keep your head up, and sleep with as many woman as you can!! And to all you guys out there, if a woman takes you to a motel on the second date, dont introduce her to your family!!!! )))

 

Good luck and best wishes to you!!

 

JESUS H CHRIST..

 

This man knows what he is talking about.

 

Do you know my ex by any chance mate? She was EXACTLY like this!

[marty]

i'm still in despair, this cannot be normal.

 

had her sister on msn last night, telling me my ex still loved me but it was time to move on and all that stuff

 

didnt need to hear all that again. seems though she's turned the tables a little and now it seems to ppl that she dumped me,,,,, when it was a mutual thing between us. why? why do that? to try and dump on me more than she has already??

 

i'm getting so sick of feeling this way, and there doesnt seem to be any way out, or any relief.

 

i did the very very best i could possibly do for her, in everyway. treated her like i would want someone to treat me. why do this at the end. if she loves/loved me why not leave me with some dignity. and why even talk to her sistr anyway,,,,,,,,,,

 

starting to get mad at myself,,,,,, which is new

[marty]

i just read my last post,,,,,,and now starting to realise how much strain this has taken on me.

 

ranting on like this isnt me. maybe better here than anywhere else i guess. thank you all for letting a guy throw out his feelings.

 

this place has been a god send.

[Toolate]

Trust me i know what you are going through. Ive been 3 weeks split up from my GF of 12 years! Im 29. Worst thing that has ever happened to me, and i have not had an easy life.

 

This whole thread is really helping me the way you and chinook are putting your feelings into words is perfect.

 

3 weeks into my break up im still only eating once a day not sleeping with out help from sleeping pills and when i wake up its like it starts all over again. It literally feels like im abandoned in the center of the earth. Im just so thankful the dreams of me and her getting back together have stopped atm.

 

Its seems to be getting better in some areas and staying the same in others. And when i think about the fact that there could be someone else, those take me out for a couple hours and i want to contact her so i can ask her again even though she has told me no 30 times........gotta remember....dopamine.

 

No advice to offer other than to tell you at 3 weeks i do see light at least a couple times a day

 

And my parents have both been crying for me also and now that you mention it, that does piss me off.

 

Hope you dont mind me posting in here, but misery loves company right?

[funnyfarm]

 

This whole thread is really helping me the way you and chinook are putting your feelings into words is perfect.

 

Me too. I'm in tears after reading this whole thread. Marty, you sound like an absolutely wonderful amazing man:love: Everything you have written about what you are going through, I relate to so much. Chinook has written some amazing things back...things I am trying to learn myself. It sure is hard though. Especially, as my ex lives around the corner from me and we share the same friends.

 

I broke down and sent an email myself 5 days ago. Mind you, it was an email I had been sitting on for over 2 weeks....nonetheless, part of me wishes I hadn't sent it...then other times, I don't care..part of the rollercoaster you speak of!

 

Hang in there and please keep posting and updating us....ironically, reading what you're going through, while saddening me, also gives me strength *hug*

[marty]

Trust me i know what you are going through. Ive been 3 weeks split up from my GF of 12 years! Im 29. Worst thing that has ever happened to me, and i have not had an easy life.

 

This whole thread is really helping me the way you and chinook are putting your feelings into words is perfect.

 

3 weeks into my break up im still only eating once a day not sleeping with out help from sleeping pills and when i wake up its like it starts all over again. It literally feels like im abandoned in the center of the earth. Im just so thankful the dreams of me and her getting back together have stopped atm.

 

Its seems to be getting better in some areas and staying the same in others. And when i think about the fact that there could be someone else, those take me out for a couple hours and i want to contact her so i can ask her again even though she has told me no 30 times........gotta remember....dopamine.

 

No advice to offer other than to tell you at 3 weeks i do see light at least a couple times a day

 

And my parents have both been crying for me also and now that you mention it, that does piss me off.

 

Hope you dont mind me posting in here, but misery loves company right?

 

I dont know what i would have done without this place my friend. tbh , i'm in tears right now writing this.

 

Guess its a bad day today. Had quite a good day yesterday,, was actually quite angry with her in my head for most of the day which seemed to keep me going. There's things she's done that i havent posted. Things to ppl from the outside , when i tell them , they shake their head at me.

But i didnt see it. i was in love,,, i still am, after everything ,, i am. She didnt cheat on me or anything,, but constant needs of attention, and playing mind games with me. And i let it all happen. Which isn't like me either,, i was always a rather strong character, and didnt take any bs,,,, but for her,,,,,,,,,,,, i did.

 

I hooked onto those things yesterday.

 

Its like i'm in a huge hole,, full of despair, sadness, missing her,,, lovin her,,,not knowing how to climb out. Then i find a 'hook', something for a little while that lets me climb up that hole a little,,, never feels like your out of it,,but it gets you off the bottom. Had lots of little 'hooks' in my head all day yesterday. Remembering little things from the past that now i see were games but didnt see it. Got to the point where i could actually eat a full pizza almost. hey,,, AND a full glass of diet pepsi !!

 

Awoke this morning,,, and those hooks have gone. dont know why,, but they have. For some reason this morning i said to myself ,in my car, 'i'm never gonna see her again', and it broke me. i had to put my sunglasses on to hide the tears......and it was throwing it down with rain.

 

Keep seeing everyone out there, doing their everyday stuff,, couples hand in hand,,, a family doing they're weekly shopping,,, grandparents out for a walk,,,,,, even a dog walking up the street,,, and i wish i was anyone of them but me.

 

I have to get on with my life, but how. I have faith that time will heal me, and she will become a memory. I've never in my whole life been so heartbroken over a girl that i know didnt deserve me. The heart can be a cruel s.o.b. !!!

 

And its like Chinook said earlier,,,, (how you doing anyway ),,,, it somehow helps to try and help others who are going through the same thing. If by writing down what i feel helps someone else,,,,,, it can only be a good thing.

 

Tears have stopped now,,,i'm sure they'll be back sometime, but for now,, i can get on with getting my house ready,,,, for me.

[funkybassplayer]

Hey man youll be ok, the weather dont help eighter! try not to be angry as it gets you by in the short term, but in the long term, its not what the relationship was about. Like you my ex had many faults, and did head games etc, but at the end of the day, she had deep ****, and lets face it, were those people ever really happy?? with us, or themselves. To do stuff like they did, shows a deep pain in them, so try to forgive her for what she did, and i can assure you, it will help yoiu move forward. Even wish her well where ever she is. Today im missing her, not like a few weeks ago, but im missing her, but i have let go of the anger, and when i think of her, i just want her to be happy, where ever or what ever she is doing. Let go of the anger, and it will help you.

[marty]

your right funky of course, its just i dont think i'm at that place yet.

 

i'm looking for anything at the moment to keep me goin. being angry in my head just tells me how much she meant to me. because i'm not like that usually. angry isnt something i tend to be. deeply sad,, yes, depressed, yes,, all the usual things,

 

but this girl for what ever reason has really got to my soul. i'm basically just waiting for the day when i can finally let it go. i know its only me that can do that. i'm just longing for the pain in my chest to ease and start living properly again. It's quite ridiculous the amount of crying i've done these last few weeks. Sometimes not over her. Just a small show of compassion from someone and i'm nearly off. And the thing that gets me is she'll be probably going around, livin her life as pretty much normal. I have no reason at all to resent that,, but i do somehow. Me sloathing around full of tiring emotion,,and she's probably got a party lined up or somrthing. (i dont want to know,,,kills me thinking what she's doin,,, must STOP THAT)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it serves me NO GOOD at all.

 

i haven't an array of friends i can go out with at the weekend. all live miles and miles away and are settled with families.

just 2 very close ones, he and she have both offered to take me out on the town, but tbh i'm not that kind of guy really as i dont drink.

Big big part of this is being so scared of being on my own. I know its finally time for me to do it on my own but at my age i thought i'd be settling down now. not wondering if i'm gonna have to open myself up to loads of rejection and try and 'date' girls. You girls dont realise how hard it is for us guys i think:). not ready for all that yet either !!

[marty]

It sure is hard though. Especially, as my ex lives around the corner from me and we share the same friends.

 

I feel for you big time. I dont know how i would handle that. It's bad enough for me and she is all the way over in holland.

 

My best friend told me something the other day, kinda an old scottish saying i think:

 

'Whats meant for you will not go by you'

 

I'm holding on to that thought. I'm not really religous or anything but i do believe everything happens for a reason. I dont know the reason i'm going through this right now at this stage of my life(35),hopefully looking back at all this pain later on i'll realise why.

 

Maybe there is somebody out there i'm destined to meet and share my life with. I (and everyone on this forum), deserve better than what they've had. One thing i've realised while being here is that everyone here are very special ppl. Taking time to share their hurt, their pain,,, their wisdom, their heartbreaking stories. Helping ppl they dont even know.

I dont know Chinook and Funky anymore than i know a stranger walking pass me in the street,, but without their words at that time of my pain,,, i really dont know,,,,,,

 

Its her loss that we broke up,, thats what i say to myself, I did everything a man could. I would rather be a broken mess right now and still have a heart,,, than be cold hearted and live in denial. And thats something me and everyone else here can be proud of. We all have hearts here,, or we wouldn't even be reading and writing here.

 

my GOD have i ranted today or WHAT!!.................lol

 

it certainly is a rollercoaster

[krandall]

Marty - one thing is really coincidental:

I read your posts and your story, and I almost passed out. Your situatioin happened to me and was almost EXACTLY the same - except that she dumped me - the last week of July. I didn't eat for days at a time, and I cried more than I thought was huanly possible. I even left town and flew to see my best friend in Chicago because I felt so alone here. Slowly, piece by piece I am putting myself back together. I know it can be done Marty. Do it with me - let's encourage each other.

I came across a song with very relevant lyrics - see if you can listen to it tonight - it might make you feel better. It resonates:

It's called "I'm Gonna Find Another You" on the album "Continuum" by John Mayer.

Marty, we are in this together - we can get through this together.