whichwayisup Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 (The W knows about me and the kids...he has no kids with her... and still he does nothing.) RC, his wife knows... Something definately is very off about this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 RC, his wife knows... Something definately is very off about this situation. Like I said, I had to read this twice! Thanks for pointing that out! I'm still in shock! Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 Like I said, I had to read this twice! Thanks for pointing that out! I'm still in shock! FAJ... Back to my other question. Is the MM giving you money for those babies??? Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 RC, his wife knows... Something definately is very off about this situation. Shock is wearing down....oy! Yes! I agree! Off is an understatement! Not only one, but two babies! OMG! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 ONE is a big mistake...But a second child? Link to post Share on other sites
sadbuttrue Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 wwiu, please dont say those babies are mistakes. maybe they arent born under the "right" circumstances, but placing the label mistakes on them is not quite "right" either in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 ONE is a big mistake...But a second child? I would like to hear her story. I can't believe this! The Affair is exposed and the W still remains M, knowing her H has babies with the OW!!! I really need to hear the details. This is not enough information. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 wwiu, please dont say those babies are mistakes. maybe they arent born under the "right" circumstances, but placing the label mistakes on them is not quite "right" either in my opinion. I don't believe WWIU meant the babies are a mistake. Just a sad state of "For The Sake Of The Children"...... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 wwiu, please dont say those babies are mistakes. maybe they arent born under the "right" circumstances, but placing the label mistakes on them is not quite "right" either in my opinion. SBT, that's not what I meant...These babies are innocent and are the ones who didn't ask for to be born into such confusion and soon to be drama. Re-read my post again and see it from the angle I meant it to be seen from. Having a second baby with another woman without divorcing his wife is not a bright idea. Again, this isn't anything against the kids, it's the CHOICES by the adults. OW allowing herself to get pregnant a second time with a MM who HAS NOT left his wife after the first child...Again, not a bright situation to put yourself in... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 I don't believe WWIU meant the babies are a mistake. Just a sad state of "For The Sake Of The Children"...... Exactly. Fact is, all three players in this - OW, MM and his wife are the ones making poor choices. Only choice that NOW seems to be thought out is by FiveAlarmJockey who is in NC with her MM as much as she can be. THAT is smart. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 SBT, that's not what I meant...These babies are innocent and are the ones who didn't ask for to be born into such confusion and soon to be drama. Re-read my post again and see it from the angle I meant it to be seen from. Having a second baby with another woman without divorcing his wife is not a bright idea. Again, this isn't anything against the kids, it's the CHOICES by the adults. OW allowing herself to get pregnant a second time with a MM who HAS NOT left his wife after the first child...Again, not a bright situation to put yourself in... Well I question the W as well! Its like "yeah sure" go make some babies, I don't have a problem with that! Like I said, I would like to hear her story. Is this a colony type of arrangment, or cult or what? It makes no sense without any information to support any of this! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 Unless his wife is ill with some disease? I don't know...I hope FiveAlarmJockey comes back and posts some more. Link to post Share on other sites
sadbuttrue Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 sorry wwiu, guess i misread your meaning. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 Exactly. Fact is, all three players in this - OW, MM and his wife are the ones making poor choices. Only choice that NOW seems to be thought out is by FiveAlarmJockey who is in NC with her MM as much as she can be. THAT is smart. Well I can tell ya with 2 babies, I wouldn't be letting him go so easily on the support payments!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 Unless his wife is ill with some disease? I don't know...I hope FiveAlarmJockey comes back and posts some more. Your guess is as good as mine. It's so difficult to fathom. I do hope she posts so we can have an idea of the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 sorry wwiu, guess i misread your meaning. That's okay. Well I can tell ya with 2 babies, I wouldn't be letting him go so easily on the support payments!!!! She should talk to a lawyer too. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 She should talk to a lawyer too. Damn straight she should! Now wouldn't the Courts have a field day with this one! Link to post Share on other sites
justice Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 I'm sorry that you are finding yourself in this situation. It doesn't sound as if your mm has any intention of doing the right thing and is now avoiding you. My best advice would be for you to only think of yourself and your child right now. You are going to need support in all areas of this issue. You can't hang onto the mm just because you are pregnant and having a child, it just won't work not even in the long run. You do need to make some financial arrangements and square away who is going to pay for the hospital and physicians, especially if you don't have medical insurance. And you are going to need some financial help for the six to eight weeks that you will be off work after the baby is born. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
FiveAlarmJockey Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 Wow! I hadn't realized I would get so much input on my situation. I had to logoff last night because the 2-month old was up and ready to eat. Anyhow...it's good to hear your input. I know that it sounds crazy...there is so much to tell, but let me see if I can get you the "jist" of it. MM was separated from his W when I met him. After a few months he was back living with her because his Dad died and he took custody of his brother and needed a home for him to live. She has known about me right from the beginning and she knows about the kids. He does not have children with her. We chose to have these children. I don't regret it at all. These kids are the best thing that have happened to me in 11 years (since the birth of my first daughter 11 years ago). I was married for 18 years prior to this and it was a horrible last 11 years. I finally got out of that situation (with my sanity) and moved on. I just wanted to let Marielle know that even though it may not be the perfect "family" situation to raise a child in, it is what you make it. And if you make it a "perfect" situation and not a "negative" situation, these kids are going to be "perfect"!! Don't ever talk negative about their father or the situation and that will be what they know. They know what you teach them...so teach them positive! Teach them perfect! Just because we (OW) made a choice to fall in love with a MM doesn't mean these kids need to suffer with negativity in their lives. I will make the most of it and will be damned sure that these kids grow up in a loving, stable home. There is not much difference from these 2 kids growing up in their situation than my 11 year old growing up as a product of a divorced family. Either way...the dad may not be around every day but he IS a part of their lives, and will be there for them. Link to post Share on other sites
FiveAlarmJockey Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 I am going to start my own thread so Marielle can get advice for her situation, not mine. LOOK FOR IT!!! --More to come!! Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 I am going to start my own thread so Marielle can get advice for her situation, not mine. LOOK FOR IT!!! --More to come!! Count on it! There are still many questions I have to ask you because there still just isn't enough information in your "jist" to get the "jist":D I am sure I am not alone with questions...count on that too! Posting your own thread is a good idea, because this one will get hijacked with your story that's for sure! Link to post Share on other sites
Hurt & Alone Posted August 26, 2007 Share Posted August 26, 2007 I cant say that my child came from my XMM but from my XH (married at the time) however, we had major problems before she turned 1 and divorced by the time she was 2. He was never there for our child and I had to do it all on my own. I guess the reason I am posting this is to tell you regardless of who the father is, it is possible to raise your child in a single household. I wont lie and sugar coat it for you because it is hard work. Many nights of tears, no sleep and just plain hard work but it is not impossible. You will love this child regardless of how the child was concepted. Child Support - He states he can not afford the family he currently has. This is not an excuse to not help the child you have created together. As stated to me by my attorney through my D, child support is not for you it is for that child period. So I guess he will just need to take his Happy ass and get a second or even third job. He has a responsibility to that child. Hold your head up high knowing that you are a wonderful person and you can do this by yourself. It is nice to have family support, allow them to help you. There are other help options there for single mothers whom make little money. Look into your current State's Health Department or do a google search 'Help for Single Mothers'. Best of wishes to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marielle Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 Marielle. I have been lurking this board for someone with a situation as mine. I have been with MM for 5 years now. I have a 19-month old and a 2-month old with him. For the past 5 years I kept hearing that he would leave his W and we would be together. Now here I am with two small children and no sign of him every leaving her. (The W knows about me and the kids...he has no kids with her... and still he does nothing.) But I wanted to give you hope that everything is going to be ok. I promised myself that when my 2-month old was born, if MM hadn't left his W by that time, I would end it all. And as of last week, I have begun NC. It is kinda hard since these are his kids and he loves them dearly. But he has been to see them twice in the last week and i have stuck to my guns not to get near him in way shape or form. I will keep you updated on the progress, but I want you to know that all you have to do is love that child with everything that you have and it will all be OKAY!!! Hi Sorry IwaS AWAY, just noticed your comments. Thanks for your kind support, Iwill be updating really soon on my situation, as u can imagine I am really busy Feel free to PM me Link to post Share on other sites
sadbuttrue Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 you know, i was reading all the posts about protection and why it wasnt used. i would bet that a great majority of OW and their MM do not use protection. especially the long term R's. if you are with someone for a year or two, it would be "almost" like any other R wouldnt it? a supposedly monogomous one? even though both know that the MM is probably sleeping with the wife as well, some even know for a fact that he is. i know this isnt right, but it is how it is. you get comfortable with each other, you trust each other. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 you know, i was reading all the posts about protection and why it wasnt used. i would bet that a great majority of OW and their MM do not use protection. especially the long term R's. if you are with someone for a year or two, it would be "almost" like any other R wouldnt it? a supposedly monogomous one? even though both know that the MM is probably sleeping with the wife as well, some even know for a fact that he is. i know this isnt right, but it is how it is. you get comfortable with each other, you trust each other. I don't even think it's a question of being right...We are talking about EMA's here... You're very right to point out that in LTR's there's probably not protection used...Just no one's going to be honest about it... Link to post Share on other sites
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