mandy2 Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 My boyfriend asked me to elope. We talked about getting rings, then he mention he would get a ring for me but he said he didn’t need one. Does that mean he wants people to know I am married but not him? Or is be being cheap? Do we need rings at all of we elope? Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 I think marriage is a good idea, and the rings are a symbol of that and not very expensive. Eloping to avoid the craziness of a wedding is very sensible though and I commend it, but trying to scrimp on the ring is a bit much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mandy2 Posted August 4, 2007 Author Share Posted August 4, 2007 i been having problems with him flirting at work, he promised not to do it again, but i believe the reason he dont want the ring is so he can continue flirting without making the other person guilty. its not like money is an issue here. he said he dont like rings. Link to post Share on other sites
lost4ever Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 I think all men say they don't want a ring, my H did (he said he didn't like them) I think it is as simple as that, most men have never worn a ring, just tell him too bad he's getting one, He'll adapt! Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Sounds like a bit of a trust issue happening here. Are you sure you really want to marry him? If so, I'm very much in favor of eloping. My wife and I did and we've now been married for almost 11 years. Oh! And I've worn a wedding band since day-one! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 If you plan on staying with this man, a wedding band would be a good idea. As for eloping, that's personal choice. It was important the first go-around but I doubt I would do it again. More than anything, all the fluffy trappings are more for the family, than you and the groom. For a year's worth of stress and effort, for one unrealistic day, isn't much ROI. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 wedding band or not... if he wants to cheat he'll simply take it off... Marriage is a waste of money and energy...IMO Why get married when you know very well that he will cheat on you? This is really weird... He's feeding you with all those lines and yet, you still want to get married??? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Given your other thread, marrying him right now would be a bad idea, period. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t126244/ Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Given your other thread, marrying him right now would be a bad idea, period. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t126244/ I will never understand women who just choose to ignore... really!!! Then they come back crying on the OW\Cheating threads... and wants support... geeezzzz Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 wedding band or not... if he wants to cheat he'll simply take it off... Marriage is a waste of money and energy...IMO Funny, you infer that most if not all men will cheat yet my wife married me anyway, firmly convinced that I wouldn't. In fact, she correctly characterized me to her friends as being "no joke when it comes to committed relationships." Strange but in 11 years I've stayed committed to only her and haven't strayed or even come close to it. I must admit, however, this one is decidedly suspect, or more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mandy2 Posted August 4, 2007 Author Share Posted August 4, 2007 I didn’t mention I am not interested in getting married, we have multiple problems at this time, and he thinks he can fix it by getting married. I don’t believe marriage is the answer, I don’t plan to stay. If you interested in the reasons you can read my other post. Was just curious in why do men don’t want rings. My parents don’t have rings nor my sister and her husband. Link to post Share on other sites
katiebour Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I didn’t mention I am not interested in getting married, we have multiple problems at this time, and he thinks he can fix it by getting married. I don’t believe marriage is the answer, I don’t plan to stay. If you interested in the reasons you can read my other post. Was just curious in why do men don’t want rings. My parents don’t have rings nor my sister and her husband. My parents have rings that they put on the day they married and have been wearing for the last 20 years. Everyone that I can think of that is married has a ring and usually wears it. There are the exceptions of people for whom wearing a ring can be dangerous due to their work (i.e. it'll fall off, get caught in something, conduct high amounts of heat, etc.) and those people I understand either wear it on a chain around their neck or take it off at work and then put it back on. I think rings are an important symbol and should be worn proudly. If you want to be married to someone, shouldn't you be proud to announce the fact with a wedding band? I gave a silver ring to my first b/f as a gift a year or so into our relationship. This was after him buying me a little silver ring two months into the relationship. I put the ring on and never took it off- He almost never wore the ring I gave him. When we broke up I almost dislocated my finger taking the ring off. I gave a gold ring to my second boyfriend two years into the relationship. He had never given me any jewelry or such. He never wore the ring I gave him (for a long time he wore the ring an ex gave him.) I am done buying rings. I'm not giving one until I get one, and damn it, once I buy one he's wearing it for life! People who don't want to wear your ring don't want an outward sign of committment. Take it as a red flag and act accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
Hazy Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 ...engage services such as yours for which the presence of a wedding band is no deterrent and doesn't matter. Funny, you infer that most if not all men will cheat yet my wife married me anyway, firmly convinced that I wouldn't. In fact, she correctly characterized me to her friends as being "no joke when it comes to committed relationships." Strange but in 11 years I've stayed committed to only her and haven't strayed or even come close to it. Oh! That's right. I have my wires crossed! I must admit, however, this one is decidedly suspect, or more. Dude, she was simply giving advice, leave the personal stuff out of it. If you want to disregard what Lizzie advises to the poster, fine, but don't bring the other stuff into it just to have an excuse to bash her. She wasn't implying anything about men cheating or willingness to cheat, she was simply suspect, like the rest of us, about a man who wants to get married yet not wear a wedding ring, the traditional symbol of a marriage commitment, get a life, dude. whether she believes most men will cheat or not is not related so most of your post is off-topic. You took personal offense at a post that Lizzie posted that was not directed at you and really had nothing to do with you so lay off, dude. Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Mandy, I know how hard it is to let go when you feel there's still hope or when you feel so much in love, but this is a selfish, thoughtless man and no good will come of this relationship. Go find someone who will treat you and your child with the respect you both deserve, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 I think rings are an important symbol and should be worn proudly. If you want to be married to someone, shouldn't you be proud to announce the fact with a wedding band? People who don't want to wear your ring don't want an outward sign of committment. Take it as a red flag and act accordingly. I don't think this is always the case. I am female and if I ever do get married I wouldn't want a ring. Not because I am not proud to be married and to let everyone know I am married, but it would be because I just don't link jelewry. I would probably either lose it actually. Link to post Share on other sites
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