Better not to have known...?

[In_thespurofthe_mome]

So first off, let me tell you that I am a little of the jealous type, but I am also very loyal, trusting, and patient.

My LDR boyfriend is also loyal, and believes in the concept of chivalry (you know, courtesy and loyalty towards women.) We've known each other for a year, and been together for around three months.

 

So for unimportant reasons, he gives me his e-mail address and password to login to a site. I use the same email service as he does, so... I know it was wrong to do, but I went into his e-mail box. I wish I hadn't...

 

He went to Japan recently and met some new friends. with whom he still keeps in contact with. One of them, I noticed, sent quite a few emails. HER email was composed of, "I miss you! When will you call? I've been waiting all day for your call," et cetera.

His was just plain responses like, How are you and stuff. But the occasional "I missed you in Kyoto!" (I'd say it too, to a friend I miss.)

 

At one point he did call her for a few hours, but I was aware of it. And I know that friends call each other because that's what friends do!

 

But in one e-mail, he said the charm she sent him was very special to him because it was from her, and he also said he'd love to see her again if he ever went back to Japan.

 

I trust myself, and I trust him. I will not assume anything. And she lives in Japan; we're in the north east US. Should I be concerned at all?

 

Thank you very much.

[FrequentFlyer]

Should I be concerned at all?

 

 

Yes.

 

Not concerned about someone on the other side of the globe, but concerned about your relationship with this guy.

 

And you snooped on his email. Why?

[In_thespurofthe_mome]

Oh god...

To be completely honest, there was no reason I was there. He has my login info as well, so I mean I wouldn't mind him being in there, and... it's the only thing about the relationship I regret right now :/

 

We've never fought or strongly disagreed on anything once. It's been an entirely smooth trip, and all he did was go to Japan for two weeks!

In all honesty, before he left for Japan everything was (seemed?) wonderful. We were both very happy.

 

But I found out recently that his mother lost her job (again)

and I think because of family reasons that's why he has been a little distant.

 

I'm blind, aren't I.

 

Listen, though. I'm trying my best to be a good girlfriend. I've looked through and helped friends in their relationships, and learned from their mistakes as well.

 

I know to give him space if he is acting distant.

 

I promise I will not assume anything. I just want him to be happy, you know?

Thanks.

[In_thespurofthe_mome]

You know what?

I have hope and determination...

I remember all the pure happiness we shared, and I know that both of us don't want to lose that.

 

I will do everything and anything in my power to try to light this spark again, and If it doesn't work, i'll face the truth. I'm a realist, after all. And it's one hard occupation.