zztop Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 I found a girl who I'm convinced is absolutely perfect (well, I mean, she is human and has flaws, but I like everything about her). We've become increasingly good friends. I instantly developed a bit of an attachment to her...and I thought the feeling was mutual. Whenever we went out, upon coming back, we'd have a long conversation in her front doorframe, no matter how cold it was outside. We talked and laughed and had a great rapport, and I thought I recognized what was a longing look in her eyes as we spoke. On more than one occasion she seemed to stare longingly out the window of her house as I left. Once, I took her to a formal dance and as we were returning she gave me that same look and said softly "I had a really good time." I thought it was definitely a sign of something. So, one day that we were talking, we were asking each other random questions about our lives, and I decided to be bold and asked her if she could ever be more than friends with me. She responded that "friends last longer". In the coming days we talked about it quite a bit more. I asked her if there was, potentially, something wrong with me. She said that, actually, she found me "quite charming" but just wasn't looking for a boyfriend at that moment in time. Since then I haven't raised the subject. We're both quite busy and don't get the chance to talk much, but when we do she still seems extremely eager. As time went by (a few months) I began to believe I was finally getting over her. Then one night she asked me to go to her junior prom with her (we're both still in high school, she's a junior and I'm a senior). I was informed by some that this was, in fact, a big deal. It probably means nothing concerning her feelings, which are probably the same (in fact, she even told me she asked me because she was "very comfortable" with me, which probably indicates I'm still very much in the friend category). In any case, it really rekindled my interest in her for some reason. What I wonder is whether there's any way we could ever be more than friends. Have these events pigeonholed me forever into a friend position? There's a strong possibility she may be going to the same college as I will be and we'll probably continue our friendship there. I wonder if I can completely get over her, as inevitably she will have boyfriends there who I will have to tolerate, or if there's any hope that once she does exit this phase of lack of desire, she could still get together with me. And did I make a big mistake in asking her in the first place, rather than "letting things develop"? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 You made absolutely no mistakes...and yes, something more than friendship can develop. Don't forget, though, she is very young and has a lot of travelling to do before she settles down. Even if you got a romance going, it could be short lived just because of her age and her need to grow and explore. The best advice I can give you is that the less you care which way things go, the better direction they'll go for you. Stop caring whether you're just friends or more. It was good for you to make the disclosure to her because now she can be thinking in a different direction. She obviously enjoys your company and you just have to wait until the friendship catches fire. If you want to know when she will really go out of her mind for you....it'll be the day she finds out you're beginning to see some other girl. That's when she'll want you like nobody else!!! It always works that way. I always loved those times myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zztop Posted March 16, 2003 Author Share Posted March 16, 2003 Thanks for the advice, Tony, though it'll more likely be me burning with desire when she's involved with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
petal Posted March 30, 2003 Share Posted March 30, 2003 You did the right thing, If you haddent of told her you like her she might never have known, it is hard when you are friends with someone and sometimes you dont want to ruin the friendship, im sure if you give her time to think about it she will see what an important part of a relationship friendship is Link to post Share on other sites
Author zztop Posted April 6, 2003 Author Share Posted April 6, 2003 So I think we've been growing closer as friends. We went to the prom and she was very comfortable sitting very close to me, leaning into me, being held by me etc., and even gave me a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night (which is a formality, yeah, but it meant a lot to me), and she agreed to go to another prom with me (in a month or so). I wonder if these are signs of whether she intends to slowly move toward something...probably not, but I may as well remain optimistic. Link to post Share on other sites
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