I can't trust my husband...

[jla-74]

My husband and I have known each other/been together for 14 years, married for 4 years this month. To all that know him...he is perfect! Wouldn't think of ever cheating... flirting on-line was considered cheating so shame on me if I ever did anything like that. He has lots of girl friends who I completely trust him with.

There was a girl at work who he started to get close to. i had already voiced my initial discomfort about her, but he said they were just friends... Until I found emails and pictures that told me otherwise. They "claim" they didn't do anything...that it was a crush, and when they realized how close they were getting, they decided to stop their little crush.

An entire year later I find all of this out...I found those pictures and emails between each other wishing that they were together and they were soulmates, etc. When I told my close friends their reactions were complete disbelief and "Shoot, if he cheated, and I KNOW my husband F'd someone else for sure!!"

My husband and that girl both say that it was nothing..there was nothing. but if you could read their emails back and forth between each other and see the pictures that I've found of them holding each other...they were more than friends.

As much as he claims and swears that there was nothing physical...

1) The emotional bond that they allowed to happen and carry on in a "crush" for approx 6 months is sometimes more hurtful than a physical connection. they talked about being soulmates, and him wishing he was with her during a trip that I planned for valentines day!!!

2) No matter how much he insists that nothing happened, their words and pictures (sorry to sound cliche), speak 1000 words.

For all i know, he could be telling me the truth, nothing happened... but everything else tells me that something did... and I cannot get past it, and I can't trust him...so...what is a marriage without trust!?

I guess i'm looking to vent more, but any advice will also help.

thanks!!

[East of Jupiter]

My husband and I have known each other/been together for 14 years, married for 4 years this month. To all that know him...he is perfect! Wouldn't think of ever cheating... flirting on-line was considered cheating so shame on me if I ever did anything like that. He has lots of girl friends who I completely trust him with.

There was a girl at work who he started to get close to. i had already voiced my initial discomfort about her, but he said they were just friends... Until I found emails and pictures that told me otherwise. They "claim" they didn't do anything...that it was a crush, and when they realized how close they were getting, they decided to stop their little crush.

An entire year later I find all of this out...I found those pictures and emails between each other wishing that they were together and they were soulmates, etc. When I told my close friends their reactions were complete disbelief and "Shoot, if he cheated, and I KNOW my husband F'd someone else for sure!!"

My husband and that girl both say that it was nothing..there was nothing. but if you could read their emails back and forth between each other and see the pictures that I've found of them holding each other...they were more than friends.

As much as he claims and swears that there was nothing physical...

1) The emotional bond that they allowed to happen and carry on in a "crush" for approx 6 months is sometimes more hurtful than a physical connection. they talked about being soulmates, and him wishing he was with her during a trip that I planned for valentines day!!!

2) No matter how much he insists that nothing happened, their words and pictures (sorry to sound cliche), speak 1000 words.

For all i know, he could be telling me the truth, nothing happened... but everything else tells me that something did... and I cannot get past it, and I can't trust him...so...what is a marriage without trust!?

I guess i'm looking to vent more, but any advice will also help.

thanks!!

 

Believe your seeing eyes and not the lying lips.

 

If it doesn't sound logical, it isn't. Follow your insticts wherever they lead.

 

If he is still working with this woman and having a friendship? I would push the issue.

[VIP]

I wouldn't stay with him after this. That just shows, that he doesn't love you anymore. And I don't need a man, who doesn't love me.

[Brad_from_NJ]

I'm so sorry to read this post.

It's hard to be optimistic.

No advice to offer. Just sorry.

[jj2007]

Believe your seeing eyes and not the lying lips.

If it doesn't sound logical, it isn't. Follow your insticts wherever they lead.

 

I agree 100%. Follow your gut. You are more than likely right.

 

If he is still working with this woman and having a friendship? I would push the issue.

 

It may not be a PA but it definately sounds like a EA to me at the least. Find out more about what is really going on between them. Snoop around and find some proof. It will hurt but you need to find out and decide what to do to move on with your life.

I hope for your sake they are "just friends" because I would never wish the hurt I experienced when I found out about my H's A on my worst enemy.

My H used that same line that they were "just friends" but it didn't feel that way to me and I found out I was right and he was lying.

Just remember to take care of yourself and you can be happy with-or without him.

[Lizzie60]

Don't tell me that you actually believe that...

 

They exchanged emails and took pictures together but never had sex. This is completely ridiculous.. of course they had sex...

 

They "claim" they didn't do anything...that it was a crush, and when they realized how close they were getting, they decided to stop their little crush.

 

Yeah right...

 

pictures that I've found of them holding each other...they were more than friends.

 

Of course they are... like all A.... it is also physical when they get together...

 

As much as he claims and swears that there was nothing physical...

1) The emotional bond that they allowed to happen and carry on in a "crush" for approx 6 months is sometimes more hurtful than a physical connection. they talked about being soulmates, and him wishing he was with her during a trip that I planned for valentines day!!!

2) No matter how much he insists that nothing happened, their words and pictures (sorry to sound cliche), speak 1000 words.

For all i know, he could be telling me the truth, nothing happened... but everything else tells me that something did... and I cannot get past it, and I can't trust him...so...what is a marriage without trust!?

 

I can't believe that you are still NOT SURE about the PA.... You're in complete denial...but I can understand ... just give it a while and you'll see more clearly.