steffany Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 I am 25 my bf is 37 and we recently went througha very tough time in our relationship. I met him 2 years ago and would never go out with him because of the age difference. Then I decided to go for it after a year of him flirting and being an absolute gentelman to me. He wanted to be my man and I declined but wanted a sexual relationship. I never had a "booty call" so it was fun for me. We became very close. He left to Calinfornia for about 7 months and I dated a mutual friend of ours...I didn't know they knew eachother until recently. When he came back I wanted the relationship he wanted in the begining. He jumped at the idea. After 3 months I got pregnant. I went to have an abortion (I know....it was wrong...and trust me it was the hardest decision ever) as soon as I found out. I was 1 month. It was incomplete dispite the fact the whole thing was a nightmare because they forgot to give me the valume for the pain... I gave birth to a 4 month fetus at my apartment. We have had a hard time with all of this. I kept trying to break up with him but he wouldn't leave me. it was like he knew I didn't really mean it deep down I was just hurting from all that had happened. Every time I would try and push him away he would hold tighter. After many sleepless nights of talking and crying I thought I was finally letting go of my bitterness. But I have started to try and push myself away again. I am scared of being hurt by him. I don't want my heart broke and I feel that if I leave now then I will be saving myself the pain. I really don't want to loose him so why am I doing this? He has proven to be such a good guy and I feel like a complete a**. I think I may be falling in love with him and that scares me. Anyone have any advice to help me let it happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 Well, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer...but when people start dating, isn't their hope at some level that they will ultimately fall in love? It's a given that there can be heartbreak associated with love so if you're wantint love without that possibility, you might enroll in a NASA astronaut program in hopes of finding another planet to live on. There is nobody here who can make you change your feelings. You have to do that yourself. But no matter where you are, where you go, or when there is always the possibility that love won't work out. But unless you take the risk, you'll never find out. If you have an undue amount of fear associated with falling in love and being hurt or abandoned, you may have underlying issues which only a competent counsellor could help you with. I've used the following link in another post already this morning but I want to leave it for you as well. Read what Kahlil Gibran wrote about love in "The Prophet." Listen to the words. If you can't handle it, just give up on finding love. Go here: http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibran2.html Good luck to you. Love will find a way!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts