Open To Receive....Bring it on!!

[RealityCheck]

Gee, I haven’t been here in a while, though I will say I have peeked in every now and then! When I first ventured to this Forum I was an OW. Yes indeed! Going through all the motions with women going through the same **** and the result was that I have formed unbelievable friendships in the process of my experience.

 

Every OW I have met had their own reasons for becoming an OW. One thing that is certain is that these woman are amazing people to know despite what people think of an OW’s mind space. Many OW’s would give their last dollar to a beggar.

 

So…..either the OW’s reality is falling completely in love with the MM or having an Affair because your standard does not include commitment and your intention is just to have a handsome devil who will feed your sexual needs, fix your faucet and splurge on you without expectation does not warrant an OW as an insecure, incompetent, worthless human being that does not value themselves in any way shape or form

 

Unless a OW has a history of psychological defects, most OW’s do not have intentions of destroying lives! Affairs happen and all circumstances are considered in the world of Affairs!

 

So while the judgments, opinions and perceptions continue on this Forum of an OW/OM consider how many of you allow children to starve in the world for lack of sponsorship while you have the lovely income, consider the woman in a shelter with kids who have been beaten to a pulp, consider the people on the street sleeping in tunnels because they have never been given opportunity, consider the puppy farms where the fur and flesh are of bare bone and how their existence has become unbearable.

 

Consider where your commitment has been to be so worldly to your opinions! All while you absorb in your thoughts of “why me

 

A closed mind is a closed conscious when it comes to matters of the heart

[GreenEyedLady]

Yeah, you're back!!!!

 

You tell it like it is girl!!!

[Tomcat33]

Gee, I haven’t been here in a while, though I will say I have peeked in every now and then! When I first ventured to this Forum I was an OW. Yes indeed! Going through all the motions with women going through the same **** and the result was that I have formed unbelievable friendships in the process of my experience.

 

Every OW I have met had their own reasons for becoming an OW. One thing that is certain is that these woman are amazing people to know despite what people think of an OW’s mind space. Many OW’s would give their last dollar to a beggar.

 

So…..either the OW’s reality is falling completely in love with the MM or having an Affair because your standard does not include commitment and your intention is just to have a handsome devil who will feed your sexual needs, fix your faucet and splurge on you without expectation does not warrant an OW as an insecure, incompetent, worthless human being that does not value themselves in any way shape or form

 

Unless a OW has a history of psychological defects, most OW’s do not have intentions of destroying lives! Affairs happen and all circumstances are considered in the world of Affairs!

 

So while the judgments, opinions and perceptions continue on this Forum of an OW/OM consider how many of you allow children to starve in the world for lack of sponsorship while you have the lovely income, consider the woman in a shelter with kids who have been beaten to a pulp, consider the people on the street sleeping in tunnels because they have never been given opportunity, consider the puppy farms where the fur and flesh are of bare bone and how their existence has become unbearable.

 

Consider where your commitment has been to be so worldly to your opinions! All while you absorb in your thoughts of “why me

 

A closed mind is a closed conscious when it comes to matters of the heart

 

 

Realitycheck you are very much needed around here, pun VERY much intended!

 

Thank you for an awsome post. It's nice to put a human element to the otherwise callous villain protagonists of the A soaps.

 

Earlier I was going to post in another thread on a topic of women who actually ended up in rels with their MM after the A, that for once I wish that I could read new commer's story stating that the rel is on its way, an NOT because I am some evil wrong doer who takes some sick pleasure in knowing that a family or a marriage is destroyed because of an affair, but only to have the reassurance that somewhere for someone out there a tragic story that happened in the worst of way had somewhat of an expected ending to what was initally set out to happen.

 

Too often all the lies that encircle the As are said to protect all the parties involved and FOR WHAT? Two people who apparently should no longer be together one of the parties drags in a third party to make matters worse it would be so much easier if people just put their stupid fears aside and really took a plunge for what they felt and for what prompted them to seek outside of the union in the first place. Whatever that was, even if it was just a reality check (indeed) and not necessarily to end up with another person, I just wish for once all the spineless cowards who walk amongst us would face the music and act on principle as opposed to acting on the moment. No wonder we live in such a lost society, people don't even know what drives them anymore. Many really do coast and step on many heads along the way, and not EVEN to climb up on the ladder, just to exist.

 

And speaking of drive thank you for the much needed example of all those people who give back to society in their own charitable ways, not to make themselves feel better but simply to extend a hand to those who are TRULY in need. Those we forget are the real victims in this world. Those people walk amongst us they are us, but once you have been painted with the OW/OM brush I'm afraid that is hard silloutte to slip out of. You will forever in the eyes of those who judge from "above" be pegged as nothing more than the SCUM that breaks a beautiful union between two loving human beings!

 

Love? If people really knew what love was this forum wouldn't even exist.

 

sorry for the rant...

[RealityCheck]

Realitycheck you are very much needed around here, pun VERY much intended!

 

Thank you for an awsome post. It's nice to put a human element to the otherwise callous villain protagonists of the A soaps.

 

Earlier I was going to post in another thread on a topic of women who actually ended up in rels with their MM after the A, that for once I wish that I could read new commer's story stating that the rel is on its way, an NOT because I am some evil wrong doer who takes some sick pleasure in knowing that a family or a marriage is destroyed because of an affair, but only to have the reassurance that somewhere for someone out there a tragic story that happened in the worst of way had somewhat of an expected ending to what was initally set out to happen.

 

Too often all the lies that encircle the As are said to protect all the parties involved and FOR WHAT? Two people who apparently should no longer be together one of the parties drags in a third party to make matters worse it would be so much easier if people just put their stupid fears aside and really took a plunge for what they felt and for what prompted them to seek outside of the union in the first place. Whatever that was, even if it was just a reality check (indeed) and not necessarily to end up with another person, I just wish for once all the spineless cowards who walk amongst us would face the music and act on principle as opposed to acting on the moment. No wonder we live in such a lost society, people don't even know what drives them anymore. Many really do coast and step on many heads along the way, and not EVEN to climb up on the ladder, just to exist.

 

And speaking of drive thank you for the much needed example of all those people who give back to society in their own charitable ways, not to make themselves feel better but simply to extend a hand to those who are TRULY in need. Those we forget are the real victims in this world. Those people walk amongst us they are us, but once you have been painted with the OW/OM brush I'm afraid that is hard silloutte to slip out of. You will forever in the eyes of those who judge from "above" be pegged as nothing more than the SCUM that breaks a beautiful union between two loving human beings!

 

Love? If people really knew what love was this forum wouldn't even exist.

 

sorry for the rant...

 

It is unfortuate where some consciousness are driven by societies rules

That of course is not to be confused by legislative laws. A written word has no bearing on a heart that pulsates by another. That is something can never be measured in perception only felt.

 

It is also truth where the standard of "love" in some is driven by practical reasons. Again, it all depends on where one chooses their own standard.

[child_of_isis]

Of course not! But like you said, affairs happen. Which is my whole point. No one has to be a victim of circumstance IMO.

 

Life is like being on a boat in the ocean. You can let the ocean and boat take you where they please. Or you can pick up the oars and row the damn thing.

most OW’s do not have intentions of destroying lives! Affairs happen and all circumstances are considered in the world of Affairs!

 

[herenow]

Maybe I'm just tired this morning, but I don't get what any of this has to do with being charitable. I have no doubt that OW and BW alike have done some charitable things.

 

Charity is my everyday job. I own a company that runs itself pretty efficiently, so I spend my time as director of special events for a wonderful children's charity. Not that I'm asking for kudos for this, it's how I have decided my time is best spent. I teach my kids to do the same and show them by example how important it is to help others. Some of you who were around when I first came here may even remember some of the threads about charity and how important it is to me.

 

Bottom line, what does any of that have to do with the topics discussed on this forum?

[Touche]

Maybe I'm just tired this morning, but I don't get what any of this has to do with being charitable. I have no doubt that OW and BW alike have done some charitable things.

 

Charity is my everyday job. I own a company that runs itself pretty efficiently, so I spend my time as director of special events for a wonderful children's charity. Not that I'm asking for kudos for this, it's how I have decided my time is best spent. I teach my kids to do the same and show them by example how important it is to help others. Some of you who were around when I first came here may even remember some of the threads about charity and how important it is to me.

 

Bottom line, what does any of that have to do with the topics discussed on this forum?

 

Phew..thank you. I thought it was me. This whole thread is like some secret language that I'm not getting.

 

By the way, what exactly is the topic?

[herenow]

Phew..thank you. I thought it was me. This whole thread is like some secret language that I'm not getting.

 

By the way, what exactly is the topic?

 

I have no clue. If it's about giving back to society, then I agree. Even my H who had an affair feels the same way and is fortunate enough to be successful in his own right that he too can give back to others in need. I don't remember anyone calling people involved in affairs uncharitable. I think it's just another thread getting off track to try and prove that OW don't do anything wrong.

[Touche]

I have no clue. If it's about giving back to society, then I agree. Even my H who had an affair feels the same way and is fortunate enough to be successful in his own right that he too can give back to others in need. I don't remember anyone calling people involved in affairs uncharitable. I think it's just another thread getting off track to try and prove that OW don't do anything wrong.

 

I agree because I really don't see what one thing has to do with another. This is posted in the OM/OW forum. Why?

 

Anyway, not to start anything but doesn't charity begin at home? That's what I've always thought anyway.

[herenow]

I agree because I really don't see what one thing has to do with another. This is posted in the OM/OW forum. Why?

 

Anyway, not to start anything but doesn't charity begin at home? That's what I've always thought anyway.

 

Sure it does. Kids learn by example and it's our responsibly to show them how others should be treated including family, friends and those less fortunate. You have made a very good point Touche.

 

Also, the "bring it on" line in the title is a good indication that this thread was started to cause some friction.

[herenow]

Yeah, you're back!!!!

 

You tell it like it is girl!!!

 

OK, so you obviously understand this post. Can you please explain what being charitable has to do with the topics discussed in this forum?

[Touche]

Sure it does. Kids learn by example and it's our responsibly to show them how others should be treated including family, friends and those less fortunate. You have made a very good point Touche.

 

Also, the "bring it on" line in the title is a good indication that this thread was started to cause some friction.

 

Thanks, herenow. And yes, the "bring it on" line struck me too. So I'm "bringin' it!:

 

Yes, maybe someone will explain this thread to us. I'm still clueless about it. Makes no sense.

[annabelle75]

If you don't understand it, then there is no need to continue posting in this thread. Those of us that do, apprecite what it said.

 

RC- Great post. I think so many people out there are so quick to judge that they lose sight of the fact that OW/OM can be good hearted giving people and are not just a bunch of evil whores out to destroy marriages. Its easier for them to think the worst. On the same note I believe the same can be said for MM/MW that cheat. They all can't be lumped in one crule selffish category. Some times they are just normal good hearted people that got lost and confused, just like we all do some times.

[Trialbyfire]

"I was so angry at my boss today, I pulled out a gun and shot him. I didn't kill that boy's father, I got rid of a problem. This was between the arsehole and me. It came straight from the heart. The world is a much better place without him, so I did my charitable deed for the day."

 

It's called collateral damage, ladies...

[annabelle75]

"I was so angry at my boss today, I pulled out a gun and shot him. I didn't kill that boy's father, I got rid of a problem. This was between the arsehole and me. It came straight from the heart. The world is a much better place without him, so I did my charitable deed for the day."

 

It's called collateral damage, ladies...

 

because having an affair is just like killing some one?

 

i'm not even going to bother to debate this one.

[Trialbyfire]

because having an affair is just like killing some one?

 

i'm not even going to bother to debate this one.

Doubt you can debate it. Whatever the level of atrocity or damage, collateral damage there is.

[Touche]

Doubt you can debate it. Whatever the level of atrocity or damage, collateral damage there is.

 

Exactly. I think the point may have been missed. The crime isn't being compared...the resulting damage, IS.

[annabelle75]

i'm sorry but there is no comparison in those scenarios

[Touche]

i'm sorry but there is no comparison in those scenarios

 

There really is, Annabelle. Could it be that you choose not to see it?

[Trialbyfire]

Part of the human condition is to be able to justify almost anything, if you want it bad enough. Denial is part of the issue as well.

 

Each person has adult responsibilities to live within a social environment. You know not to take the pink flamingo in your neighbor's yard or to pick the flowers from their flower bed. It's about respecting others that live or move within your sphere of influence.

[Touche]

Part of the human condition is to be able to justify almost anything, if you want it bad enough. Denial is part of the issue as well.

 

Each person has adult responsibilities to live within a social environment. You know not to take the pink flamingo in your neighbor's yard or to pick the flowers from their flower bed. It's about respecting others that live or move within your sphere of influence.

 

Your neighbor's have a pink flamingo in their yard? I'd move, TBF! And who would want to steal such a thing?

 

(Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.) Carry on.

[Trialbyfire]

Your neighbor's have a pink flamingo in their yard? I'd move, TBF! And who would want to steal such a thing?

 

(Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.) Carry on.

Haha...nah, I'm just equating the pink flamingo to the cheater. Same sort of worthless tackiness but..one woman's garbage is another woman's treasure. In reality, my neighbor appears to have an endless requirement for sugar.

[RealityCheck]

"I was so angry at my boss today, I pulled out a gun and shot him. I didn't kill that boy's father, I got rid of a problem. This was between the arsehole and me. It came straight from the heart. The world is a much better place without him, so I did my charitable deed for the day."

 

It's called collateral damage, ladies...

 

"collateral damage"....I don't think so! Not with this post!

 

I'm sensing "anger issues" when one goes to the extreme of this sort of thought to "kill" someone.

 

Whoe! Can't wrap my brain around this whatsoever!

Can't say I ever thought of killing anyone!

[Touche]

Haha...nah, I'm just equating the pink flamingo to the cheater. Same sort of worthless tackiness but..one woman's garbage is another woman's treasure. In reality, my neighbor appears to have an endless requirement for sugar.

 

Hilarious! Yes, I didn't really think you lived next door to someone who had a pink flamingo in their yard.

 

But here's the thing. Maybe some people think stealing the tacky pink flamingo is doing the community a service? Could that be it? It's a charitable act! Ahh...I get it now! It's all starting to come together.

 

Sugar Boy sounds divine by the way.

[Cobra_X30]

Doubt you can debate it. Whatever the level of atrocity or damage, collateral damage there is.

 

I AM collateral damage. Tried to explain that to a few poeple in this section once... its pointless. If a person is M w/kids and engaged in an A... what can you say to that? Do you think they dont know what they are doing??? No, they just let others pay for the consequences of thier actions.

 

I think we can all agree that while similarities exist all affairs are different. I dont especially like your analogy, the finality of it just does not apply.

 

Yeah... I get the point of this thread. Maybe you should really be asking yourself this: "Who are you willing to hurt to get what you want?"