Poboy Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 best friends with this girl for 10 yrs. I and my family are now looking for an arranged marriage for me . her family has already started searching a guy for her. 10 yrs back , i wanted to date her but she said no . we became great friends after that. dating never came up again. thats is until now. when i told her that me n family are searching for a girl , she gets all weird. she starts talking of how we should have dated earlier. me kind of shocked by this end the conversation there. few days later ... she comes out n tells me , We should date. she is currently living in a different country and would be coming down soon. she wants to date me when she is here. when i dwell into this more , basically she is scared of marrying just anybody her family picks for her. and cant see herself marrying a guy without being good friends with him as friendship is very important factor in a marriage amongst other things for her. she told me she likes me a lot as great friends and is very comfortable around me and wants to see if we can be more than friends now and if dating clicks , marriage is most likely on the cards for us and we both realise this. so i said Yes , lets date n see what happens... but having thought more deeply on this , i realised a few things, 1. i dont want to loose her friendship. the 1st time it was tough to get over her & this time if it doesnt happen,i will be seriouslly hurt and mostly an end to this great friendship. 2. she is an awesome woman. deep down ,i do have a soft spot for her and i think my feelings for her never did go away and some of it still remain or maybe its just that i care for her a lot and i did have something for her all those years back and the friendship after that. i can see myself marrying her if all goes well . but the risk of loosing her will be a big loss for me as i dont have a lot of friends and just her as my best friend and not that big a loss for her as she has other good friends. so is it worth the risk when marriage with your best friend is a possibility. i mean thats the greatest thing , actually marrying the one person you are most comfortable with , like , care for and would do anything in this world for that person etc. would you take this chance and see if there is something more or let it remain as a great friendship cause the loss will be immensely devastating for you. i know its my call in the end but what would you do in such a situation and what should i do , some good advice for me Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Yes, it's worth the risk. Absolutely. And you really should understand that it's not that much of a risk, because one SURE thing is that if you marry someone else, your wife will NOT be happy about your friendship with this girl you think of as your best friend. You will end up losing a lot of what you have with her anyway, if not the whole friendship, when you marry. Even if your wife is ok with you two remaining friends, your life will become very much wrapped up in your wife and future children, responsibilities and work, so you will not even have time to maintain the friendship very much. So give it a try and see if it works out! Link to post Share on other sites
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