Toolate Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Mine left after 12 years I hate to say this because im 90 % sure this will happen, but it will be nice when i find out she is having a miserable time with life. It will be bittersweet. I really do care for her but i feel so betrayed and it will at least let me know that im doing the right thing instead of running. Link to post Share on other sites
oddie Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Hey Aliddy, I am new to these threads, but have learned so much from many caring people here, and is seems by reading your posts that you have also you are saying all the right things, and I'm sure you can put them to practice. You have to realize that only you can make yourself truly happy, and once you stop looking towards someone else to do that you can start to heal. It sounds to me like you almost there, and no it won't be easy. If you really think about it, what is your alternative? To wait until he makes you happy again?....only to possibly someday take that away from you again?? Seems like in that case you are giving someone who walked out on you way too much power!! You need to take back the power to start the healing process.....it might be a long tough road but take it one day at a time. You like many of us deserve better than that, and you have to believe it. This is not the time to remember all the positives about the relationship, maybe by getting a little angry about the way he left it will give you the strenght to get to place you DESERVE to be!! We all have faith in you Good luck and post for support! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aliddy Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 Thankyou, Yes I have learnt so much, I have realised, that it can never be the same again, his anger towards me now, is quite unsettling. I know, there is no way back, I simply have no respect for him anymore, also, how easily, he manipulates the situation with lies, to make me feel responsible for all that has happend. However, the words of advice on here, to keep a diary of how I felt, has provided me with the evidence I need, to ensure I act on the facts, and not my minds ability to forget the pain and hurt he caused. It is still early days, but I am getting there..... Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Thankyou, Yes I have learnt so much, I have realised, that it can never be the same again, his anger towards me now, is quite unsettling. I know, there is no way back, I simply have no respect for him anymore, also, how easily, he manipulates the situation with lies, to make me feel responsible for all that has happend. However, the words of advice on here, to keep a diary of how I felt, has provided me with the evidence I need, to ensure I act on the facts, and not my minds ability to forget the pain and hurt he caused. It is still early days, but I am getting there..... Hi Aiddy, glad your feeling better, and i can only think that his actions will help speed up your healing proccess, cos lets face it, you just dont want him back, but i know what its like to be on the receving end of being ignored and its a horrible form of abuse, but that does'nt change the fact that we still love em! says alot about us really!! Im doing better now too, more at one with myself, and those mad emotions are just not there anymore. _ Thank god! x Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aliddy Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 Hi Funky, No I dont want him back, however, I am sad for what was.......... That is now ruined.............. I am so pleased you are doing so well.......keep it up... x Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 I had posted a comment on your blog and went back today to check on it and you and it's gone! Did you take it down because of the comments he put on it? Pretty immature what he did, don't you think? He must be very angry - hopefully he is angry with himself but my guess is he has turned it all so it is all your fault. Silly boy indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aliddy Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 Yes, as he had vandalised it....... He is so angry....... The facts are, he went back to his ex within a week, did not care about me, now they have broken up, and he is feeling what I did 2 months ago.....and finding it is really not nice.... Oh Yes it is ALL MY FAULT..... Yet he still lies Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Aiddy whats your link again? mine is [/sIZE]"]www.myspace.com/richthefunkybassman but nothing about the ex on there!!!:cool:x Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aliddy Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 Hi Funky.... My Blog is no more :-( He wrote the most awful comments, saying I had written lies, and that I was the one who caused all this. He said he had been to depressed to contact me, not that he had been back with his ex.... ( he truly thinks I am completely stupid ) His profile, was changed a week ago....to say " now single AGAIN !!! .... We split 2 months ago......when he deleted me........this is newly added... He said, I have ripped his heart out....etc..etc..etc... Really nasty..... Yet, he did not comment once on my comments about her....on my blog...and there were plenty........strange that !!! Link to post Share on other sites
funkybassplayer Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Hi Funky.... My Blog is no more :-( He wrote the most awful comments, saying I had written lies, and that I was the one who caused all this. He said he had been to depressed to contact me, not that he had been back with his ex.... ( he truly thinks I am completely stupid ) His profile, was changed a week ago....to say " now single AGAIN !!! .... We split 2 months ago......when he deleted me........this is newly added... He said, I have ripped his heart out....etc..etc..etc... Really nasty..... Yet, he did not comment once on my comments about her....on my blog...and there were plenty........strange that !!! No truer time than to say he made his bed, now lie in it! but for you to move forward from this you have to in your heart forgive him, and let go, when you feel ready to, cos he sounds like he has a ton of issues that only he can put right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aliddy Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 O.k. so now he has decided to try another way...... He has tonight, texed me twice, to ask how my day was, and general " chit chat " as if nothing has happend.... The strange thing is, that even though I know he is no longer with her, and I know he wants me back, I still feel sick to my stomach and the constant turmoil is worse rather than better. I ask myself, is it that he is longer able to " take this terrible feeling of loss " away, is it the relationship I am grieving for, knowing it is now in pieces....? Maybe, I have answered my own question, he cant make it better, he is still lying and I am now questioning the past 4 years........ Whatever it is, this is not a pleasant place to be...... Link to post Share on other sites
Tirai Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 However, the words of advice on here, to keep a diary of how I felt, has provided me with the evidence I need, to ensure I act on the facts, and not my minds ability to forget the pain and hurt he caused. It is still early days, but I am getting there..... Here exactly same. I copied all his emails and our chats to blog, put there some dates and conversations and things he did. I had a long conversation with his other girlfriend and we were together putting the missing parts to a puzzle we both had played a role at, that's there too. This blog helps me to remember. When you talk about your ex -feels like if i knew him About others being faulty over whatever not so nice happens in his life, or he cooks up -with my x too. Completely. From smallest incidest it was always someone else. Anyway, even it's getting easier, it still amazes me how well he messed up my head. This guy was definate Jekyl/Hyde and he is so damaged and so good at his game it's horrifying. At the moment i feel so goddam sorry for this poor creature. He is so damaged that he keeps on making sure he will be abandoned, me and everyone who comes to his circle, we all will get to end of our strength at some point and we bail out. We can, but he cant. i saw him( he didn't see me), and he seemed so old, so worn out and so lonely - i was in tears. I know i will be allright, but he wont i'm affraid. Not because of loosing me, but because of loosing himself long before we had met. Link to post Share on other sites
Tirai Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 I still feel sick to my stomach and the constant turmoil is worse rather than better. Listen to that feeling. DONT go back there. You KNOW what will come. I know where you are, it is not a good place to be. Leave it behind and dont look back. Further you go, better it gets. Let go of him. He still has a grib on you and he knows it and he is using it. Stop it for your sake. Dont let him torment you anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aliddy Posted August 16, 2007 Author Share Posted August 16, 2007 Tirai Thankyou, yes I know, this is not the first time he has done this. It happend 2 years ago, exactly the same...........the entries to my diary then were exactly the same as they are now !!!! He knows I am not a person, who can be cruel and unfeeling. He has tried ranting and raving, sending abusive emails, violating my blog....now he has changed tactics....to be nice....... All this after 2 months of N/C..........and before that simply ignoring me.................. He cant get his own way and it is infuriating him.................. Link to post Share on other sites
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