niceguy27 Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Wow guys... I am going through the same thing. New business that had to close (now have another thats finally starting to take off), partner bailed on me 2 months in (business partner), grandma died, bankruptcy, house foreclosure, and most recent, my ex leaving me. All in one year! Whats hit me the hardest was and broke the camels back was her leaving me. Since it was so sudden and out of the blue it was a shocker to say the least. I was planning on proposing to her later this year. Now shes gone and I look back and my life has taken a complete 180. The only thing we can all take from this is that we now all have a chance at a fresh start. Sometimes it takes losing everything to learn what really matters in life. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Like when Caliguy would tell me to walk away, that I'm more important, and she left me etc etc. It boiled my blood to hear that! It's the last thing you want to hear. No one ever said medicine that is good for you also taste good. Sometimes in order to heal you have to bear the "pain of healing" as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Maybe because she's just using you to get attention, and to be reassured that men are attracted to her. Yes, she likes talking to you and hearing in your voice that you're still fawning over her. What relationship? You have nothing. Grow some balls. Who is she to tell you if you can date other people or not? It's too late for her to come back to you, you just have to let this one go. See? She doesn't give a *****. What makes her deserve all of your attention when she is around you? Go clubbing with some friends, and get laid. Repeat for a few weeks and you'll be over her. What are you talking about me and this girl are back together. she drives 2 hours every other day just to see me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DH27 Posted October 29, 2007 Author Share Posted October 29, 2007 Well I've gone a full week without talking to her. This week I was just living my life, doing what I do, not worrying about this situation or anything. It wasn't that hard, but every now and then I would hear something, see something, think of something that reminds me of her, and it just....sigh.....you all know what I mean. My life just isn't as good as I it used to be, and I'm tired of having to lie when someone asks me how I'm doing, and I respond with "alright". I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DH27 Posted October 30, 2007 Author Share Posted October 30, 2007 So did this thread die? Link to post Share on other sites
Travis L Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 Seems like it... Well, B is probably busy with his girlfriend... Nice is moving on, you haven't spoken to her in a week, and I...well...I just got back from her place (stayed the night last night and hung out all day). I'm no closer to having her back. I'm just getting lonely lately as I am jobless for the next week (start my new job next week). Seems like all this down time forces me to think about the ex. She brought up how she is always thinking about her now ex boyfriend as he dumped her. I made the mistake of saying I wish she never met him as she seems so miserable and he is always on her mind. She said everything happens for a reason. I said, "Yes, that reason might be that you were meant to see how well I actually did treat you." She agreed and that was that. Oh well... How are you doing? Still haven;t heard from her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DH27 Posted October 30, 2007 Author Share Posted October 30, 2007 Well today she sent me a text message after going over a week with no contact at all saying "i didn't get to see austin : (". One of my friends from back home came down for the weekend to hang out with me at Purdue, and she is friends with him too so she knew, but we didn't hang out with her at all. I replied "should have called. hes comming back in 2 weeks though so dont worry". She then said "oh okay, we definately need to hang out then". I replied "deal". And that was that. I don't know why she didn't text him instead talking to him why she didn't see him instead of telling me. Girls are crazy... I'm doing pretty good without her. No anxiety attacks in forever, but I still get pissed off every now and then about the situation...but I just tell myself I have to stop beating myself up about all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
m2theario Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 i am kinda in the same puddle dude.put i know the saying u don't know what you lose till you lose it.but if she is the one don't regret it dude get her while you can! show her you like her by words.let her know she is beautiful and what-not every day tip her(not money like a kiss or complements) for what ever she does. Link to post Share on other sites
Travis L Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 but I still get pissed off every now and then about the situation... I know how that goes... I wish there were magic words that i could tell her that would finally make her realize how great we could be together. I also get pissed over the fact that I put so much effort into this (most she doesn't know about...like posting on here...) while I feel like she could care less about getting back with me. I spent the night at the ex's last night and I woke up this morning to her holding me...I sure miss that... DH, we both know there isn't a lot we can do right now but focus on ourselves. Nothing we do or say will convince them to come running back. Only they can make the decision to come back... Our power lies in when we have had enough and walk away for good... I'm not there yet and it doesn't sound like you are either. I have been having a lot of fun going out on dates with others though... Stay strong man... Easier said than done, I know Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted October 30, 2007 Share Posted October 30, 2007 I know how that goes... I wish there were magic words that i could tell her that would finally make her realize how great we could be together. A few weeks ago when we were "kinda back together" She was talking about me to a guy at work and explined whats going on with me and other guys that are talking to her (might I add its obvious that they dont care about her like i do). The guy she worked with just said "if he cares about you so much just be with him." She came home from work and told me sometimes she just needs to hear things from the most random people to figure it out. since then she finally introduces me as her boyfriend again. DH27 I think you're doing good. that text to me sounds like the guilty contact. Good job leaving her alone. She still wants to talk to you thats A HUGE PLUS!!!!!! Remember fall off the face of the earth. It's okay to show that your a little upset. Travis are you having a sexual relationship with your at all? Not that I am trying to be nosy but I was wondering what type on connetion you guys still had together. Link to post Share on other sites
Travis L Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Travis are you having a sexual relationship with your at all? Not that I am trying to be nosy but I was wondering what type on connetion you guys still had together. Yes, we started being sexual again a week ago. I stay the night at her place about 2 times a week... We see each other about 5 days a week and talk to each other every day (she makes 90% of the contact). I am no longer pushy at all and avoid discussing us (it frustrates her and I don't really want to talk about it either). If she brings anything up about us I will talk about it, though. I'm just going with the flow and enjoying my life. She knows where I stand and I know where she stands... Oh well, such is life... Neither of us seem sick of each other, which is good... Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 That seems like a good thing. At least it will build some type of attachment.. Sounds like your headed in the right direction. Link to post Share on other sites
Travis L Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 That seems like a good thing. At least it will build some type of attachment.. Sounds like your headed in the right direction. We're headed somewhere...not sure where We had a 100% awesome day yesterday...then today she came over and blew up at me over something stupid. She left and then called me crying...apologizing. I have a feeling she is trying to come up with reasons why she shouldn't be with me. Her family always asks about me and tells her they think she made a mistake...that she should have married me. The ironic thing is this could actually backfire. I've told them that i am not going to pressure her and they should do the same. Oh well...just going with the flow for now. Link to post Share on other sites
heartoutside Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 I'm wondering what's been going on with you guys? Things working out? If they are you should still post on here, let people know that people do get back together. I get the feeling that when people on here get back together they stop posting.... Link to post Share on other sites
niceguy27 Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Ive been gone for a bit but only because I had a major fall and have basically had to start over again with moving on. All the stuff Ive done this past 2 months and she is still talking to a guy that is unattractive, a jerk, unattentive, and completely not her style. I have no idea who she is anymore and that kills me more than anything. That she could just cover up her feelings after all the memories her and I made over the past 2 years. So Ive been laying low and trying my best not to dwell on things lately. Plus all the other personal difficulties in my life right now are overshadowing my breakup. Ill be back here and there but YES, KEEP US UPDATED on how things are going. Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Me and my girlfriend are back together and it feels like things are back in full swing I still don't have a car my dads in Alabama. so he cant buy me a new one yet... so I am taking a train to her apt to night.. Things are good right now Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Good to hear that Blurple Good luck man! Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 Anything new from you guys? just wondering everything with me is going well. hopfully i find out the status on my new job Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 Well, I walked away I broke NC, she said she didn't love me any more, the relationship was all bad, she got over me quickly because it was over before she broke up with me, she likes someone new. She asked if I wanted to be her friend and I said I always would be, but not in contact - it hurt too much. I sent her a nice email saying that I hoped she finds happiness and that I love her. Said goodbye. I'm just getting on with life now Link to post Share on other sites
Travis L Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Well, I walked away I broke NC, she said she didn't love me any more, the relationship was all bad, she got over me quickly because it was over before she broke up with me, she likes someone new. She asked if I wanted to be her friend and I said I always would be, but not in contact - it hurt too much. I sent her a nice email saying that I hoped she finds happiness and that I love her. Said goodbye. I'm just getting on with life now I've said goodbye a couple times... I think I wanted to help her realize what it was like without me rather than me actually wanting to move on... I haven't made contact in over a week but she continues to call...I guess I don't mind as it doesn't hurt anymore. This mood will probably change but I just don't care anymore... I'm tired of getting scraps when i deserve more. I'm tired of treating her like gold and her treating me so-so... She calls me her best friend, sleeps with me, but I can tell its just not there for her. Oh well...life goes on. I'm done with the caring and hoping and I'm done caring more for her than myself. I don't even miss her. I do think about her everyday but it's no longer with sad thoughts. We know where each other stands and I have to leave it at that. Nothing other than time and space can help...even then it's about a 25% chance of getting back together at SOME point in our lives. Good luck guys... I hope you all are doing better than I am. Link to post Share on other sites
vivrantflo Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I've actually read this thread from the start, all in one sitting!! Travis, you don't think you're doing well right now, but I think you're doing great! The stance you have right now, is the perfect one. You're not letting her have her cake, and eating it too. If you keep this up, she will definately experience what life could be like without you in it. And naturally, it will get her to think about how she's abusing your love. Stick to the NC man.. Glad to hear you make that decision. Link to post Share on other sites
marrty24 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I just read this whole thread, and I can relate to all of it. Girlfriend and I broke up back in August, I thought I needed her and I wanted her back so bad. Haven't talked to her since sometime in September, but sometimes I do think about her and wish things were differenty. Sometimes I want to break the NC as well, but so far I've stayed strong. We were great togehter but the one thing I learned from it all is don't date a girl with a crazy mother who doesn't want to lose her daughter no matter who the guy is. I've actually been accused by my ex and her mother of doing some things to her that I would never do in my life. Somehow I was turned into the bad guy by the mother. Today I was actually thinking about writing her an email but I don't think I'll get a response and it'll just make me feel like ****. I know that I don't need her anymore but I do still care for her. What's your guys opion of th situation? Link to post Share on other sites
niceguy27 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Well guys...Here is an update on my situation: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t135744/ Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 wow. I dont know why they dont understand they are making thing harder for you. its either your here or your gone in my book Link to post Share on other sites
Author DH27 Posted November 15, 2007 Author Share Posted November 15, 2007 Well heres my situation...its been forever since I've posted but here it is. I finally realized that we will never be in a relationship again. It just wont happen. She has built up a wall against it, and no matter how close I think I am getting to it, I will always be a mile away. I've gotten to the point that I don't want to see her, or hear about her. It just hurts too much, and I know if I distance myself from her, I will finally be able to move on. She's called me before and asked if I was mad at her, I told her no, we talked about random stuff, and hung up, quick 5 minute convo, didn't mean anything. I haven't seen her in quite a while, and I like it that way. It just hurts me too much. Maybe it would be best if some of you would realize this too. Maybe it just won't happen...I know I've lost hope, and I am finally moving on. I'm just tired of feeling like **** all the time. I'm still not back to who I was before the break up, but I know I'm better off than I was during the time I was trying to get her back. Link to post Share on other sites
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