33 Ways to Love Your Lover

[nouralhoda]

1. <LI class=arttext>At the movies, share the armrest.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Save the last cookie or last piece of cake for your spouse.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Don't hog all the Jeopardy questions on TV.
   —Jim and Candace Walters; El Cajon, California
    
   <LI class=arttext>Squeeze toothpaste on your partner's toothbrush when you're doing your own.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Get your spouse's pajamas out and lay them on the bed.
   —Jodie, Joel and baby Caleb Haberstock; Vernon, British Columbia
    
   <LI class=arttext>Leave a favorite snack on the seat of your spouse's car.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Compliment your mate in front of friends or family.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Light a candle in the bedroom.
   —Michele Smither; Rochester, Michigan
    
   <LI class=arttext>Put down everything to greet your spouse at the end of the day.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Fill the gas tank in your mate's car—as a surprise.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Light candles with dinner.
   —Julie Jones and Greg Rohde; St. Louis, Missouri
    
   <LI class=arttext>Make a snack for both of you before bedtime.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Turn your socks right-side out before throwing them in the hamper.
   —Betty Arthurs; Tempe, Arizona
    
   <LI class=arttext>Be adventurous—meet for lunch at an ethnic restaurant you've never tried.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Choose a novel, then read it out loud to each other in the evenings.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Rent a movie you watched during your courtship days.
   —Donna and Ernie Siefert; Winfield, Illinois
    
   <LI class=arttext>Buy an "I Love You" card and mail it to your spouse at work.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Make plans to re-create your first date.
    
   <LI class=arttext>When the dryer buzzes, instead of looking at your mate, volunteer to fold the clothes.
   —Wayne Goff; Kansas City, Missouri
    
   <LI class=arttext>When one of you is indoors and the other outside, knock on the window and blow a kiss.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Don't put away stuff your spouse might want left out.
    
   <LI class=arttext>When you're finished driving, put the seat back to your mate's preferred position.
   —Amanda Brailsford-Urbina and Gerardo Urbina; Dearborn, Michigan
    
   <LI class=arttext>Hold hands instead of holding the remote control.
   —Conley J. Mercer; via e-mail
    
   <LI class=arttext>On cold mornings, go ahead and bring in the newspaper.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Kiss at stoplights.
   —Mike and Lesley Steenbergen; Garden Grove, California
    
   <LI class=arttext>Hide love notes around the house where your spouse will find them.
    
   <LI class=arttext>When you disagree, always acknowledge the possibility that you could be wrong.
    
   <LI class=arttext>When stopping for gas while traveling, buy a treat for your partner without buying anything for yourself.
   —Russell and Cynthia Atherton; via e-mail
    
   <LI class=arttext>Next time you shop for clothes, let your spouse vote on an outfit.
    
   <LI class=arttext>Get involved in a new ministry together.
   —Karen and Bruce Anderson; Spokane, Washington
    
   <LI class=arttext>Shower together and wash your spouse's back.
    
   <LI class=arttext>When your mate lies down on the couch, get him or her a pillow.
    
   
2. Get to know your in-laws.
   —Rietta Hingston; Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

[Curmudgeon]

SHMILY - By Laura Jeanne Allen

 

My grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their own special game from the time they had met each other.

 

The goal of their game was to write the word shmily" in a surprise place for the other to find. They took turns leaving "shmily" around the house, and as soon as one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more. They dragged "shmily" with their fingers through the sugar and flour containers to await whoever was preparing the next meal.

 

They smeared it in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio where my grandma always fed us warm, homemade pudding with blue food coloring. "Shmily" was written in the steam left on the mirror after a hot shower, where it would reappear bath after bath.

 

At one point, my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to leave "shmily" on the very last sheet. There was no end to the places "shmily" would pop up.

Little notes with "shmily" scribbled hurriedly were found on dashboards and car seats, or taped to steering wheels.

 

The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows. "Shmily" was written in the dust upon the mantel and traced in the ashes of the fireplace.

This mysterious word was as much a part of my grandparents' house as the furniture. It took me a long time before I was able to fully appreciate my grandparents' game.

 

Skepticism has kept me from believing in true love-one that is pure and enduring. However, I never doubted my grandparents' relationship. They had love down pat. It was more than their flirtatious little games; it was a way of life.

 

Their relationship was based on a devotion and passionate affection, which not everyone is lucky enough to experience.

 

Grandma and Grandpa held hands every chance they could. They stole kisses as they bumped into each other in their tiny kitchen. They finished each other's sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle and word jumble.

 

My grandma whispered to me about how cute my grandpa was, how handsome and old he had grown to be. She claimed that she really knew "how to pick 'em."

Before every meal they bowed their heads and gave thanks, marveling at their blessings: a wonderful family, good fortune, and each other. But there was a dark cloud in my grandparents' life: my grandmother had breast cancer.

 

The disease had first appeared ten years earlier. As always, Grandpa was with here every step of the way. He comforted her in their yellow room, painted that way so that she could always be surrounded by sunshine, even when she was too sick to go outside.

 

Now the cancer was again attacking her body. With the help of a cane and my grandfather's steady hand, they went to church every morning. But my grandmother grew steadily weaker until, finally, she could not leave the house anymore.

 

For a while, Grandpa would go to church alone, praying to God to watch over his wife. Then one day, what we all dreaded finally happened. Grandma was gone.

Shmily." It was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons of my grandmother's funeral bouquet.

 

As the crowd thinned and the last mourners turned to leave, my aunts, uncles, cousins and other family members came forward and gathered around Grandma one last time.

 

Grandpa stepped up to my grandmother's casket and, taking a shaky breath, he began to sing to her. Through his tears and grief, the song came, a deep and throaty lullaby. Shaking with my own sorrow, I will never forget that moment. For I knew that, although I couldn't begin to fathom the depth of their love, I had been privileged to witness its unmatched beauty.

 

S-H-M-I-L-Y: See How Much I Love You.