!!! Need

[Chief149]

Please if anyone can help with Advice I would really appreciate it.

 

Heres my Story....

 

It has been 2 months since the woman I loved with all my heart left me, and broke up with me for know apparent reason. It all started one day when I got home from work. She told me we needed to talk, and we did. She told me that she hated the city we where living in , and she missed her family and friends. I knew she did not like living here, and before I met here she told me she was planning on moving back home. But did not because she met me and fell in love. Her family and friends reassured me of this. She was the one that wanted to move here, and move into together. which we did for 2 years. Everything was great never broke up before or never split for any reason. We talked about the future ie.. marriage, kids life together..... I had everything planned for the proposal this fall, and she knew I had been looking at rings and a deposit down on one.

Well one night we go to a concert and we were drinking, and having a great time. We were both a little buzzed, and had an argument. I really do recall what was said but the was the night that ended it all for us. We had argued a little before, but nothing major. we both would own up to evetyhing and say sorry. But again nothing major in the past. Well her mother was coming to visit the next day and stay the weekend. She did and that was the weekend she packed and moved back to her home state. She never told me that it was over, but rather told me she is moving back howm, and that she was confused with what she wanted. I took that as us breaking up, and so one. Afther she got home she called a couple of times, and sent me an email saying whe wanted to be friends, and that I was her best friend for the past 2 1/2 years. show we sould continue that. She wrote me letters,a nd everything saying I was the man she wanted to be with the rest of her life, and so one. Her mom even told me that. So after that it had a week since i talked to her, and one day she called me and wanted me to come and visit so I did. We had a great weekend, when I was up there she was always using the WE word, took me around to show me new homes there a, d was alwasy grapping my hand, and she would not let me sleep on the couch, but again in bed with her like old times. the last night I was there we were laying in bed, she rooled over and was hugging me. I told her that this is the happiest times i have had in the past month she said the same. I told her I've missed her so much. she said the same, and that i loved her more than anything. she said the same. next day I leaving to drive back, and we hugged and kissed and she told me she loves me, and so on. I left drove off, anf 20 mins later she sent me atext saying she missed me already. I get home she was calling everyday, or every other, and we would talk about surface things. Until last week she called and invited me up there again, than that is when said to her that I am confused. I felt like she just gave up on me, and she told me very plain. That she did give up on me. so I took that as closure, and new I need to move on slowly but surley. Her mother even told me that she does not know what she wants, and is confused. She called the very next day knowing the day before, she crushed my hear again. and we talked for while. I had an interview in a few days, and I had noth called her, nor didi she call, but she called me on Mday of this week, and we just talked. she call on thurs again, and we just talked. she asked if I have been dating, i said i went out once, i asked her she did the same. So i wrote her an email saying that I want to be friends, but for right now I can talk to you everyday, in order for me to heal and try to move foreward . I could not talk. it has been 3 days since I talked to her. I miss her voice, and everything about her. I know I can't call. But what do i do.

 

Anyone please help me. I loved her more than anything and it hurts. She know I am moving to another sate at the end of this month.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you everyone for listening and reading.

[funkybassplayer]

Sounds to me she wants you to move there? Why dnt you ask her? Is this an option to you? I had the same, i was with a girl 9 years she lived in scotland, me london, we hated where each ither lived, and it ended. It was sad as we really loved each other and to this day i had not been happy as i was with her, but i dont regreat anything.

[Chief149]

It is an option. Wehen she told me that she hated it where we are, She wanted to move back home. We discussed that and planned on moving to her hometown at the end of this month. I have asked her and her response is I don't know. I belive she is just confused about it. Not sure what to do or think.

 

Thank you for your help. any more guidance please send it.

[funkybassplayer]

Hmm then it sounds like this is more than just where you live. Maybe distance yourself a little, as 1) if she can have you anytime, then she knows your always there and may be happy with that and 2) it sounds that she doe not want a full relationship, and if this is so, you better start looking after number 1 from now. All i will say is just dont commit to her fully from your point, as this may be what she wants, to know your there, and she can see you when it suits, but she does not have to fully commit. I of course am just giving my opinion.

[Chief149]

Your right it has only been a few days since i last talked to her, everyone that i have talked to about this has said the same as you did. I have been strong about not calling, so i intend on not right now. I am trying to put myself first, but it just so hard to do.

 

Thanks again for your replys. I appreciate it a lot any others please respond. or ways of trying to deal with putting myself first. Thanks again

[number2]

All I can say is -- Love can only be %100. If she is unable to give the 100%, than there is NO reason to persue her, no matter how much you love her.

 

Why?

 

Because down the road this instability may happen again, and that sort of pain is not worth going through twice (let alone once). It sounds as if she is confused with what she wants. From my personal experience, if the girl is confused, you can only let her figure things out for herself. If she decides what she did was a mistake, and she is able to admit that and come back to you, then MAYBE you should think it over. Until then, I would suggest that you just let things be and concentrate on YOURSELF.

 

Goodluck sir

[tinke]

i would suggest not considering a move out to her at any time soon, it does not appear stable. her confusion is not fair to you, and she doesn't appear to have any cares as to how she is pushing and pulling you. why not step back (even though you miss her) and give her some space. maybe set a time limit and re-visit the situation.

 

her just packing up was not very respectful to you..don't give your heart completley to this girl...right now, she is only thinking of herself!

[Chief149]

Thank you everyone for your support. It is just so hard to move forward without her, and I know I need to put myself first, but it is going to be tough, but I know I need to do that. She even stated on the drive back. that it will not happen overnight????

 

Any other advice would be greatly appresciated. Thanks everyone

[Chief149]

Hey Guys, could any give me some support.

 

I don't know why I did it but I checked her myspage page out, and she added a new photo of herself, and it was GORGEOUS. Oh do i miss her so much, finding myself slipping back down.

 

Please help me climb the hill again. Thank you

[discoverychannel]

FIrst of all... do yourself a favour and don't go to her myspace or whatever website anymore. Try to remember the ugliest you have seen her and push that picture in your head away! She prob photoshop'd it Appearance mean nothing down the road... we all become a bag of wrinkles sooner or later anyways

 

She's not just "confused"... it's never that simple. Whatever the real issue is... she should atleast let you know what is really going on in her mind. It's mean of her to leave you so confused. What she really means when she said "she doesn't know what she wants" is... she doesn't know if she wants to be with you. Why would you want someone like that? You gave your best, you loved her more than anything to the point of proposing, and she just gives up on you and leave? No warning no nothing?? If she held back when you gave her your all, then she doesn't realy love you.

 

This is simply my guess at the situation. Mayb i made it more complicated than it is... either that or there is really nothing going on in her mind...

 

whatever it is.. she is emotionally unavailable right now and At this point you can't really change her mind. You did your best being the loving bf you were, but she still chose to leave. If she wanted to work it out she would've b4 she left. Take her words literally... she has given up on you. It's over.

 

I say take some gorgeous pictures of yourself and put it up in your room. REmind yourself what a great person you are and concentrate on yourself. Life in this system of things is short... spend it on someone that is willing to love you whole-heartedly without holding back